Ok, so I am a friendly person and 7 years ago I was foolish and naive. I was friendly with a much younger work colleague, but nothing happened in a sexual sense. There was office banter, the team got on well and we enjoyed our job, but I love my husband and went home happily to him every night.
I also love a laugh and a dance, my hubby on the other hand likes to sit at the side of the room with no dancing.
When I left the workplace, hubby came to the leaving do and I was on dance floor with this colleague and I can see now that it must have looked quite flirtatious and in front of my hubby too, so it's obvious now why he got very upset about it.
So much so that it almost ended our marriage.
He accused me of having an affair and all sorts which wasn't true and it literally took me years to convince him otherwise.
It didn't help that I was railing against losing the friendship. In my eyes I was just being friendly and didn't feel that I should lose a friend over my husbands jealousy, but I deleted this colleague from everywhere a few months after so we could move on and save our marriage.
What also doesnt help is that my brother regularly goes to football with this ex colleague, so this person pops up in conversation every so often.
But, my issue is this... My husband just won't let go. It's been 7 years now and he still brings it up at least once every 3-6 months. He still tells me how hurt he is that I gave the perception of being a single woman and seemingly flirting when I'm married and I showed no respect for him and other people saw that and lost respect for both of us.
In hindsight, I can see why he was so pissed off, but I am now getting tired of constantly being batted over the head about it.
It's so bad now that he often doesn't bother with birthdays or Christmas either. This Christmas he gave me two out of date chocolate bars and on my birthday I got nothing. I know it's not about the gift, but I feel so unappreciated. He even said once that I don't deserve it!
He doesn't want to be intimate with me anymore either. On the rare occasion that we did have sex, we somehow managed to conceive our child, but that was 2016 and we've not had sex since then! He just turns away or makes excuses.
We still have a laugh and enjoy bringing up our child, but when it gets brought up for the nth time I just feel so sad for both of us and kick myself.
I said to him today that I know that 7 years ago I was silly, but it is now him that is ruining this relationship and he really needs to sort himself out because I'm fed up of him being so unkind, ungrateful and cruel.
Am I being too harsh? What can I do or say to help him get past this once and for all?