Unplanned second pregnancy, don't know how or if to tell Dp.

[NotReadyForThisX2]

Names changed as a few people in real life know my user name.

We have one Dc who's only 5 months. I'm ebf and not had a period yet and I've found out today I'm pregnant. I'm devastated, really not ready for another baby and I can't believe it, we've been using condoms every time we've had sex and with a tiny baby it's not like it's been often.

I've told Dp I'm not feeling too well so I'm hiding upstairs. I'm really not sure how he'll take it and I'm not sure what I even want to do, so don't know if I should say anything yet.
We've discussed having another in a very general way and he didn't seem overly bothered for another really and neither was I. Honestly I imagined us probably only having one, maybe two but definitely not this close.

I don't even know why I'm posting. I guess just because I can't talk to anyone in real life and I'm just trying to think things through and stop myself from crying.

Oh gawd, why do blokes do that,like its nothing to do with all that's involved in providing an hospitable environment with everything perfectly set for implantation, and an egg at the ready! Nope, of course, its absolutely all about the sperm.

I'm not actually sure mussie. I went to the gp with Ds and then got an appointment for the midwife, I can't remember them saying I shouldn't or didn't need to.

I told my mum today and feel better for it. We're very close and Dp said he was fine with her knowing but us leaving tell his parents and everyone else. She was a little 'oh my god' but very supportive.

I know @Smotheroffive.
I said maybe it's just that you don't know how to put a condom on properly
!I'm going to see if they do adult versions of that lesson you have in high school that explains it all and send him on it!

I said maybe it's just that you don't know how to put a condom on properly
. Nice comeback!

The t shirt is rather cute though. Dp says when we're ready for people to know, we'll just put it on Ds and see if anyone notices.
He's feeling a fair bit more excited than I am. But it's rubbing off a little and I agree with him that it will be nice for them growing up to be close in age. I'm a only child and Dp's brother is 5 years younger. They get on now, but Dp said he remembers always having to play 'baby' games because of him and he wished he had a brother he could play properly with.

This happened to me too. I have 16 months between my two oldest children. I was very shocked and had only just finished breast feeding so really did not think of having another baby. I was in shock for a week and then told my husband who was also shocked but immediately said he would help me all he could. It made me feel better knowing he was supporting me. Make certain you are pregnant first. Then tell your dp as he can support you. FWIW I have never been sorry I had my first two so close together. They played together well and in the end I thought whilst I am at home with one I may as well as be home with two and then when they both went to school I went back to work.

My Dc are 16 months apart- Quicker than planned but worked out fine in the end .
One advantage is that you are still basically in baby mode so adding another is not as hard and the elder child doesn't get jealous as they only know life with a sibling.
Times with double buggies and car seats were present but the advantage is of close siblings who played together and stuck together through school and university and now adult life .
My advice would be to plan what you can , get some help for when new baby arrives and when they are both here always keep the nappy bag packed and full, allow an extra 30mins to get anywhere and treasure the time with them .
Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy- as a second one at least you know what's what etc .
Btw my kids are now 21/22 and I am already a nanny

Just seen your post @Mumof3dogs, but thank you.
It's helped reading some of the positive stories of close siblings on here and knowing we aren't the only ones to have a 'accident' so soon after having a baby.

Lots to sort out regarding work etc and I'm not exactly over the moon about it, yet. But I'm feeling more positive and I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I can and it's at least a good excuse to sit on the sofa doing nothing but snuggling and playing with Ds, while Dp runs around doing everything else. I am pregnant and breastfeeding, so keep reminding him it's the least he can do.

That's slightly jokingly, although I am milking it at little at the moment. I'm still in shock though and I'm sure I should be taking it easy.

Just a little update! We had a early scan today, says I'm 7 weeks (approx) and gave a estimated due date of early November. Which will mean only 13 months between them
All looked good, strong little heart beat and only the one! (thank goodness).

Had a few moments of feeling a bit nauseous and I'm getting into a routine of napping when Ds has a afternoon sleep. But otherwise I'm feeling ok and getting used to the idea.
I really think it's going to be another boy, not sure why but I really do.

Fabulous update and I also napped when DS1 was asleep, small gap has its bonuses!

I do HR for a company, just some advice on your maternity leave. Your pay entitlement is calculated on your earnings during a period known as the 'qualifying period'. This is normally the 15th week before your due date, although some companies take an average over the month and then divide it. Provided you are in work for this qualifying period, you should be entitled to full maternity pay. It's worth contacting your HR department or asking your manager to clarify once you have your MatB1 form, as it may be worth working during your qualifying weeks in order to get the pay entitlement (as long as your maternity leave is closed, being on annual leave or sick leave counts as being 'in work', lots of people in this situation end their maternity just before the qualifying week, take their annual leave that they have accrued so they are in work for the required period, and then restart their next maternity leave, sometimes with a bit of sick leave depending on their annual leave entitlement. We can't outright tell people how to interpret the policy, but we always recommend people who are in similar situations email us their scenario they are planning and we can advise any problems that they may not anticipate.

Oh that's lovely OP!

Could you imagine the fallout if there were two heartbeats too!! What a relief just the one nice strong beat. Awesome.

Good to see you looking after yourself.

Congratulations 💐 🎉

Lovely update! I have 13 months between my two. I won't lie to you, I found the first year pretty dark but now it's perfect. Once you've nailed the bedtime routine, the practicalities of bathing two babies, getting them out, dried, bottles etc you feel like you could take on the world (and you probably could!) but now (aged 5 and 6) everything we do, from the cinema to fairground rides to simple things like bedtime routines are the same. And they are best pals. My advice, a decent double buggy so after lunch they can both nap together (if you have a cot hater like I did), and also don't sweat the small stuff. Enjoy! X

My second was a shock DS1 was just over year old. I was unsure about it until I started bleeding heavily and cramping. Then I panicked about having a miscarriage. Luckily I didn't lose him and he's now a dad himself. He and DS1 are really close.

Thanks @MrsRubyMonday. I think I'm going to go back after my 9 months off, so June/July. My mums a teacher so she said she'll have Ds through the summer holidays. I've requested to go back three days and that's been approved. Got all my holiday entitlement to use and some of that will be based on being full time (I think).
I'm going in for training on a keep in touch Day in a few weeks so hoping to have chance to speak to my boss and sort out what holidays etc I have and see if I can phase my return using my holidays, so one then two days etc.

I know @Smotheroffive. I never even thought about it and then day before the scan Dp said "oh imagine if it's twins". I couldn't sleep at all that night worrying and it was the first thing I asked at the scan.
I just don't think I'd have coped at all!

Ha ha like you don't have enough drama in your life! Hope all settles down and back to normality for the remainder of your pregnancy!

We have 13 months between our eldest 2 and honestly they are the best of friends (same months as yours as well). The first year was a whirlwind, but the best kind-sleepy cuddles, over enthusiastic older sibling love and caffeine induced madness, it's hard but it's great! I hope you have a smooth pregnancy and if you ever need an ear, I'm here! Have family in Yorkshire too (fabulous place and brill people!)

Thank you @MotherOfTheNoise. We've got fantastic family support and Ds is a really chilled baby (fingers crossed he stays that way and his little brother or sister follows suit) I think we'll be ok, I mean we've kinda got to be anyway 😂
But now I'm not so freaked out I feel ok about it. I'm pretty organised anyway and Dp pulls his weight (and some, at the moment) with housework, night times, weekend morning etc.

I'm not sure I'm liking the thought of breastfeeding two at the same time. The plan was to feed Ds till at least 12 months and possibly longer. I love it but the thought of feeding while I'm very pregnant is making me feel a bit funny and I don't think i want him to still be feeding when the baby arrives.
Not sure why really, just feel weird about it.

I would speak to your MW about it, or call a specialist bf service

Just read that your thread, Notreadyforthis. Mine are 16m and nearly 4 weeks, and it has been hard work especially as the older one has been a bit jealous. I just keep thinking of the positives in the future, and that my older one won't ever remember being an only child. I feel like I'm less tired than I was first time but that I need more sleep this time, probably because the toddler has so much energy.
Do watch out for anaemia though, I got it badly during my last pregnancy and was out of breath all the time, it was horrible. If I'd have known, I'd have eaten much more iron rich foods.

I was in this position twice. The first time it was planned, we wanted to have two close in age so started trying when DS was six months old and I fell pregnant the first cycle which we didn’t expect! Second time was a complete shock, I was EBFing and on the mini pill which I took religiously so didn’t expect it. Had three under three which was so very difficult but I survived .

I admit I was on autopilot most of the time and life became about survival more than anything but I made it out of the other side and they’re all fantastic kids-now almost 7, almost 8 and 9. Chose to have DC4 5 months ago so obviously didn’t scare me too much!

I think it’s good you’re taking your time deciding. I’d think about how you would feel if you go ahead with the abortion but then are never able to have another child? Will you feel sad, regret, etc? Or are you fine having only one child?

@Ihatehashtags RTFT 🙄

Sorry just seen your post @outpinked. Three under three , I don't think I'd cope. Definitely no more after this one. Dp isn't coming near until he/she is at least five or he has the snip.