Relationship ended.. anyone else?

[dilly123]

Relationship ended today.. I know I'll be ok because I've been through worse but today I'm just feeling sad & disappointed..

For anyone else in the same boat.. sending you & positive thoughts!

I know how you’re feeling. Separated for 4 months now after 13 years of marriage. I don’t want to be on my own but I don’t want anyone else. I keep asking to go back but stbx looks like the wedding ring has come off. Refuses to change mind about the decision to separate. All stbx’s choice I feel completely lost too. No one seems to understand why I’m sad all the time

@bombaygin I've just got off the phone with my doctor. She was great. Is giving me sleeping tablets just for a few days so I can sleep (although when I do finally sleep I just dream about him). Said it sounds like I've been depressed for a while so we'll talk about that when I see her on Friday. She's signed me off work for a week to try and relieve some stress. Hoping this gives me some time to grieve properly.

Unfortunately my ex is an amazing person. Yeah we had some problems but I'm to blame for some of them too.

I just don't know who I am without him.

It's the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life.

Good luck with your doctor.

So glad you ladies are getting the help you need it shows strength & courage...

... love to you all & hopefully when we all check back in after a few months we are all in a much better place xx

@bombaygin I've been like that since Sunday. Trying to keep it in right now with the kids at home. Just don't want to feel like this anymore.

My doctor wants to talk to me about anti depressants. Are they helpful?

Just waiting for my mum to ring so I can cry my eyes out to her.

@dilly123 oh really do hope we do feel better in a few months. That is something to look forward to.

Stay strong everyone xx

Just seen his car parked in town on my way home from work first actual thought that I could bump into him at any time which fills me with anxiety.. I definitely wouldn't want to cry or be in my shitty work clothes!! But would like to get it over & done with so it's out of the way!!

*Bombay

I feel completely empty. I guess its the anti depressants. Tonight is the first night I'll be on my own since he went as the DC are going to my mum's as I'm back to work tomorrow.
Not sure I'm ready to go back but I need the money.

Hugs to all. We can do this !

@bombaygin

Don't suppose you are anywhere near west Norfolk because I'd come & help you pack up & move x

Hi @bombay

I’ve been lurking for a while as I’ve been through a similar situation recently. No where near as intense as your current situation. Only messaging as I’m worried about you. Please reach out to someone in this group if you’re feeling like you can’t cope. I might not be best placed to help but others here seems really supportive. You aren’t on your own X

Oh @bombaygin I feel for you. I too am in West Yorkshire.

So far have managed to get through today without crying. I feel I am on the verge though so I've just taken a sleeping tablet and I'm cuddled up to the cat.

I start to feel in a panic when I think about moving house. I am so scared to find somewhere new and move out and have it all finally become real.

I've felt some hate towards my ex today. How could he do this to me? He's ruined the rest of my life.

It's not his fault he wants to be happy though.

It just makes me feel sick that he might find someone else, a single parent, and then move in with her and her kids and have the happy family he didn't feel he had with me.
Don't get me wrong, he loves his kids more than anything and has seen them everyday. He would drop anything for them. It's more my feelings of him not being happy with me.

I hope the bath helped. I had one but it was too much time for me to sit and think.

Hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone. None of us are in this on our own. Hugs to all!

Hi all. I’m in the same boat and so relieved to have found this thread. I feel sick and nauseous and left work early yesterday to ho to my GP and ask for some help as my relationships about to end with someone I’m desperately in love with. Will write more in the morning but hugs to you all. I just want to curl up give in to a quiet death tonight but I have a beautiful 5 year old asleep in the other room that I would never let down. Why do men do this?

Hi everyone.
My relationship ended at the beginning of November. I posted quite a bit about it on mumsnet on a couple of threads but under a different username.
I just wanted to say that it does get better but it takes time. The first month was awful for me especially as Christmas was involved. He tried to contact me many times up until Christmas but I blocked and ignored and ticked off days on a calendar when I didn't contact him - after 30 and 60 days I rewarded myself with a treat each time. It really helped me not to break and contact him. If I had he would have wheedled his way back in as he had done before only for him to waltz off again as soon as he thought he had found someone better (which came to nothing as usual).
If you have children then you can't break off all contact obviously but for those of you who don't, consider making a calendar and rewarding yourself. Non contact really does help I promise you.

I only started to feel better in the middle of February - so after 3.5 months. I could feel myself coming back - what a lovely feeling. I had got lost in the relationship.

It is now the middle of March and I do sometimes feel sad or angry but much less than before. In January the thoughts of him were very intrusive and I thought I would never get over him.

The things that helped me were:
a) absolute non-contact despite provocation from him
b) the book "It's called a break-up because it's broken" and some of the activities in there
c) ticking days of non-contact off
d) re-connecting with friends and family (who had been a bit neglected due to the all-consuming nature of the relationship - his demands and his problems mainly)
e) planning crazy dream holidays (which I may or may not take)

I feel for you all. I've been through it and am coming out the other end but I can remember the dark days of the first couple of months. Truly awful.

Hugs to you all.

For those of you who have having to move home - I don't know what to say. It makes everything even harder. But you will come through it.
Sending you

@bombaygin
I feel sick. My head is in agony. And I feel like no wonder he left me, I'm just one big mess, I couldn't give him what he wanted which was carefree sex and no demands. I feel like I failed to keep him.

Why should you give him that? His expectations were unreasonable.
My ex would throw a strop any time I asked him to do anything or support me and then swan off saying he had found some other woman (normally an ex-girlfriend or someone he had met once). None of it was true - it was just a way to make sure he kept me dancing to his tune so he could swan about drinking and going to prostitutes while I was at home making sure his other needs were met - clean house, food prepared, secretarial duties, someone to tell his problems to.
Dear Bombay, there is no way you "failed" to keep him. I bet you did all sorts for him. It is him that has unreasonable expectations.
I felt exactly the same as you after he left. I see things differently now.
I promise you that you will also see things differently - maybe not now, maybe not in 6 months but in a year or a couple of years.
Keep posting on here so others can support you and get any help you need from your GP etc.

How is everyone today?

I was meant to go back to work but had a massive vomiting episode last night. I think its anxiety related. Work were not pleased. I got a phone call saying its "unacceptable" because I only gave 12 hours notice
I'm going to try and see the dr and get signed off again. I'm obviously not ready to go back. I can't really afford to be off but am no use to anyone at the moment.

Gentle hugs to all.

Hope you're feeling better today @bombaygin ..

@ImpracticalJoke Sorry you're work is giving you more stress.. I'm lucky my bosses & co-workers are lovely & I work in such a fun place it really helps take my mind off things & they're so understanding always asking if I'm ok & if I need to go home.

I'm off tomorrow & Saturday & dreading the long weekend ahead.. trying to hide my sadness from the DC's .. Saturday night will be hell thinking about the big party.. I would have made sure I looked so nice for him & been so nice to his friends I hadn't met .. I so wanted him to feel proud to have me on his arm... In my stronger moments I hate him for doing this again but in my weaker moments I want him back, want him to say he was just scared of his feelings but can't be without me.. what have I ever done in my life to not be allowed any happiness. I don't ask for material things, I just want to be loved!! 😢

Sorry I meant @PorpentinaScamander about the work thing

Thanks @dilly123 its the last thing I need right now.

I messaged him earlier. Only about some stuff of his that's here. So hard not to tell him I love him but last time I did that he said he loved me too which just makes it harder

Hi girls another one to join this sad topic..as my name suggests. Never thought I'd be writing on a forum like this but I think it's my only way to get things out. Just broke up today after 11yrs and 3 beautiful princesses my baby only 12 weeks old..to say I'm devastated is an under statement I'm just broken and in shock although I know in my head it's the best decision but my heart is breaking he has took part of my heart with him. I'm trying to hold things together in front of my babies but it's soooooo hard but I know they will be my drive to make me good again. I'm scared of doing it by myself coz he has been my everything for so long he was my best friend I have no one else now so I have to try and get out again to make friends even that's scares me so for now I need some virtual friends of you lovely ladies that unfortunately knows the heartache that's to come I'm just devastated I know things will get easier but it still hurts so much.. handholding for us all that's going through this shitty time