Relationship ended.. anyone else?

[dilly123]

Relationship ended today.. I know I'll be ok because I've been through worse but today I'm just feeling sad & disappointed..

For anyone else in the same boat.. sending you & positive thoughts!

PorpentinaScamander
Try to eat something, even if it’s just little and often.

Has he been in contact with you at all?

He messaged me yesterday offering to pay for the shopping this week. Other than that nothing since Sunday. When he told me he loves me still

Anyone else having a really bad day? I'm supposed to be going to a friends engagement party tonight, honestly don't think I can face it. I can't stop crying today. Really have the urge to make contact today. But also know I will regret it!

I'm having the worst day so far. I've cried a lot today and can't eat. I wish I could do something to bring him back but I know if I message or go there it will make it worse. It's so hard and the pain is undescribable.

Well I cracked I phoned him, I feel ten times worse as he said some horrible stuff to me. Then told me he doesn't actually care no more.
Strongteaplease try eating some toast even, just so it's something. The pain Is indescribable, how someone who once said they loved us can inflict this pain. It hurts. Big hugs x

This was the year we were going to make all our plans become real and move in together. I'm crying as I write this. I loved that man with all my heart. I haven't even got dressed today which is unlike me. I'm telling my children that I don't feel well ( headache)which is why I'm still in PJ's and crying alot. I never knew such intense sadness existed.

That intense pain will pass, that's what I keep telling myself today anyway. Do you have any family members local that could come over or you could go too strongteaplease, Sometimes as much as you don't feel like the company just talking to someone helps.

No. Unfortunately I have no family, just my children. I have a few friends but they're all in relationships and just say, " you're better without him". No help really as it's not what I want to hear.

Definitely not what you want to hear, even when you know you are better off without them. Sometimes it's just good to vent without judgement, they don't sound very understanding.

Big hugs to everyone. I spent most of the day in bed reading and doing nothing. Luckily the DC are big though to a) understand what's happening and b) make themselves lunch.
Out now at my dads as it's my brothers birthday. It helps to be able to forget for a while

bombaygin I feel so scared and alone too and Ive already contacted the Samaritans...for the very first time in my life ...I just feel devastated and frightened. I've emailed them though as I knew if I phoned I would break down in tears and not be able to speak.

Sorry to hear so many of you are struggling today .. weekends are by far the hardest.

Had a girls night last night, it was ok, nice to get out but I just kept looking around thinking I don't want this single life, I want to be with him.. I can't ever imagine even being attracted to anyone else.

I've tried the anger thing & tried to convince myself I hate him but when it comes down to it I was in love with him & had been for years & in all honesty I still am. And that's the hardest part because I'd give anything for him to love me back. One of my friends said last night "oh you 2 will be on & off forever"! Half of my hopes that this isn't it for us & half of me knows it's best if it is for my sanity.

Hearing about the death of Mike from Love Island has really upset me because I've always had concerns of ex's mental health & drug use & if the 2 are connected. He is under more stress than ever right now & I just feel so uneasy that he may spiral into the heavy drug use of the past. I have had so many dreams of him being found or me finding him dead.... I wish I could have been enough to make him happy, I tried helping him with some of the stress he's under but he just couldn't open up & let me help.

He's just always there in my head, I need to stop loving him but I can't!!

Love to you all xx

It's been 8 days since my ex left. We've been texting and he's been to see the kids and stayed for tea a couple of times. I can't look him in the face though, I can't talk to him face to face. It's even getting harder to talk through text. I feel like I'm hurting even more. I'm so sad and angry that he could put me through this. Part of me knows the split is for the best (we grew apart, the hours we both worked meant we never saw each other. We'd also been together since we were 16. Over the last 21 years we've just gradually grown in different directions) but part of me is convinced he's having a midlife crisis ( he suffers from multiple health conditions and his good friend recently passed away of a heart attack) and that he'll see sense soon. I'm sobbing my heart out more often and then minutes after I just feel numb. I can't take this. I've literally been begging God to take this pain away and asking him why he's putting me through this. I don't even believe in him. I don't think I'm ever going to get over this.

@dilly123
I could have written your post word for word 💕
It's so tough trying to convince yourself about all their faults and rationalising in your head that it's done, but quietly, deep down, the love is still there.

Love is love though, and I'm glad I'm still capable of feeling it, despite the skin prickling shock that comes up every time I think of him.
I had the chance to move on with a lovely guy last night, but it's too soon.

we've been split 4 weeks but still sleeping together occasionally, but the last time he wouldn't even kiss me so I'm done. It's too painful to cling onto and watch someone become unfamiliar in front of your eyes.

Tonight is tough, I'm sure he is out & moving on too, it's got to be done I guess. Cut that sexual connection and human energy that resonates between lovers.

Just keep swimming everyone!
Xx

How's everyone today? I'm not good and cried all day. His daughter texted me last night, as she does every night to say goodnight and told me he'd put all my photos , clothes and stuff we'd bought together all in the bin . So it's truly over. I'm broken.

Hi strongteaplease I’m similar today, cried on and off, I keep fixating on him meeting someone else and I don’t know why. We have to go on holiday together in June with the kids and I’m terrified he will have met someone else by then.

Do you think he has thrown your things because it’s painful for him or just because he’s an arsehole?

I'm switching between anger that he doesn't love me enough(even though he said he does). Intense sadness at what we've lost and the thought that he needed to leave to be happy.
I want to message him and tell him I hate him. I want to tell him I love him. I want to beg him to try again.
I'm terrified he'll meet someone else and stop loving me

@Strongteaplease I'm the same.
Have cried my heart out for most of the day. It's only today that I realised there are happy pictures of myself and my ex and a family picture on the wall at the side of my bed. I quickly took it down and was tempted to throw it in the bin but I stopped myself and just propped it up facing the wall down his side of the bed.

He's not coming back to me.

I think I must have been in shock all week because this weekend feels worse than last weekend when he actually left.

I don't feel like I can cope. I have to be strong though for the kids. They're doing so well and I'm worried if they see me sad they'll think that everything won't be ok after all.

I text my ex today. When he left he just said he wasn't happy and we were over for good. No other explanation. I'm so upset and angry he's not even wanted to sit and talk.

I hope everyone feels better soon.
I've got so much going on I feel like my head will explode.

Much love to you all xx

I think he's thrown it all away for both reasons. I'm already imagining him with someone else even though he's not, but I know it will happen at some time. It will destroy me. I'm not looking forward to tonight as I can never sleep. I just think of him. I thought we were together forever

@bombay think you should be a priority for housing so hopefully it will go ok for you, you have a S21, a disability (MH) and children, plus you have just got back into work which is a positive for most social housing providers (I got somewhere pretty quickly with all the above, except I had a cat, not DC’s)

I’m sorry everyone is going through heartbreak right now. I was just reading out of interest and wanted to respond to @bombay about housing.

I’ve been where you all are which is why I’ve chosen to be single for the last 7 years. I must admit I’m used to it now and don’t want to share my life with anyone else, but it’s probably easier to reach that stage when you’re in your 50’s.

It honestly will get better. My worst heartbreak took me 4 years to get over, he really did rip my heart out and stomp on it. It takes time though, and tears, and feeling sick, then okay, then sick again. But one day you’ll realise you haven’t cried that day, then you’ll realise you haven’t thought about them for at least an hour, and slowly and surely you’ll become more ‘you’ again.

and love to you all x

@Binting

Thank you so much for the advice, it's much appreciated

I'm currently waiting to hear if I will get offered a house down the road that has just come up, it's part of a housing association but is a direct let. It is only 2 beds and I need 3 but if they allow it I will take it and sleep on a sofa bed. Needs must and I'm desperate to stay close to the kid school and everything.

If this doesn't go through then I am back to waiting on the council but it is looking like I will have to be go into a hostel or something before they will give us a home. I'm in a real state about it all.

My ex knows my situation after I told him over text and he has wished me well with it. I just feel completely overwhelmed by everything.

I feel so rejected by him and like he's gone just when I need him most. It's killing me to think of him moving on. Thoughts of him sleeping with another woman is crippling me. I've been through it all before with him and it's happening again, it's so hard to get my head around. He must have just been using me for the last 12 months.

Last night I got really upset and smashed some ornaments we bought together into the back garden. I wanted to smash the whole house up! The kids were scared and then I felt so ashamed. I just lost it.

I'm feeling more stable today but I do need the GP and my antidepressants re-introducing. I can't carry on like this.

I hate myself. I blame myself for everything, I don't want to carry on living but I know I have to for my kids. It's just torture to be here at the moment. Everything is such a big mess and my heart is torn apart.

Love to everyone

Oh @bombaygin

You must be feeling so overwhelmed.. please see your GP as soon as you can.. emergency appointment!

Take one worry on at a time.. 1st thing is to secure a new home for you & your family. Then you can tackle the logistics.. have you got people who can help you pack up & move your things?

I hope you start to feel stronger soon, don't feel bad for smashing things up or crying it's better to release your feelings than bottle them up! Thinking of you xx

Never thought I'd look forward to Monday's so much but the weekends are torture. Hoping next weekend will be maybe my last one where I feel so rubbish.. it's the last one where we had firm plans but it's a big one a party at one of his best friends place.. I'd booked a day of work, a hair & make up appointment because I wanted to make a good impression on friends of his I'd not met & I wanted him to feel proud to have me on his arm.. (not that he would ever think to say so).. other mutual friends will be going so will maybe stay off social media so I don't see any photos or posts.

Really starting to think I will never put myself through this pain again.. I'm 45 (almost) so maybe what another 30 years on this earth left I did 10 years single I'm sure I can get through the next 30!!

I'm married my marriage has not ended . But it's on the verge of it I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship . And im a shell of my former self , lost all confidence etc and extremely sad and confused with major brain fog , just trying to take one day at a time and try to get a clear plan together xx

I've spoken with my ex tonight. He has told me we both need to move on and that I need to find someone who will make me happy because I deserve it.

I feel sick, I'm shaking and feel like I can't breath and I'm heartbroken. I can't sleep. I don't know how I'll go to work tomorrow. I'm thinking I might ring in sick and go to the doctors.
I didn't want to go down this route but I don't think I can handle this on my own.