Relationship ended.. anyone else?

[dilly123]

Relationship ended today.. I know I'll be ok because I've been through worse but today I'm just feeling sad & disappointed..

For anyone else in the same boat.. sending you & positive thoughts!

@bombaygin that's good to know that it gets easier being a single parent. I'm struggling doing it all alone atm. Ex has our son twice a week.

I'm the same when it comes to thinking of him with someone else. Its hard, but also you will be with someone else too one day, someone who will treat you a whole lot better than your ex did. Someone said something to me last week that really hit home, when you find the right person the relationship will never be hard, its so easy. Easy is something my relationship never was with my ex. So I'm hopeful ill meet the right person one day.

Overall I'm feeling better, I'm not crying as much. Hes acting like a bit of a tool so its making it so much easier for me and ive accepted hes not the right person for me now. Still hard but getting easier.

Love to all of you.

I honestly think they love it, they love having a woman crying over them and begging for them back. I've tried to do the opposite this time, I've had a few moments of weakness but overall I feel I've acted pretty strong, especially the last week, I'm slowly emerging from the fog and seeing him for what he was.

you'll get there too, might take you a while but eventually you will look back and think what on earth did I see in him?! You'll have a great partner who puts you first and wouldn't dream of hurting you.

I feel totally dead inside. I guess that's the tablets working. I mean it hurts like hell but I haven't cried in days.

I have so many unanswered questions though. Mainly I want to know how long he had been planning to leave. A week before he left we paid the deposit for Disneyland. No idea how I'm going to afford it now. So either he didn't know he was going to leave (in which case how much of a snap decision was it). Or he was planning to leave already in which case why the fuck didn't he say something!
I know theres no point dwelling on it but ugh.

The thought of him moving on makes me feel sick. But I want him to be happy.
I keep wondering if he's hurting as much as I am. Part of me hopes he is and part of me hopes he isn't because I want him to be happy.

He was always talking about "when we get married" and was happy to have sex with no contraception. But left because he didn't want a family.

I'm just so confused. Everyone says he's just immature and will come back one day but I can't hold on to that forever.
He was meant to be my "happy ever after". It wasn't a bad relationship. It was amazing. He was my best friend.

I know I'll get through this. I have before when the dcs dad left. But that was a bad relationship and I can see I'm better without him. This time its so different

I want to text him and beg him to try again but I don't want to push him away. I don't want to make him hate me

and love to everyone

How is everyone doing tonight?

I've had an ok couple of days. I found a house and got a lovely sofa and a bed for when I move.
I haven't cried either since Friday.

Tonight though, my anxiety has shot up. Keep thinking of my ex with someone else and thinking that no one can love him like I do. I really hope he sees that when he eventually moves on.

I feel like I could cry but also like I can't cry.
My doctor put me on Sertraline on Friday. Don't know if that's the cause of my feelings tonight.

I'm so scared of the future without him but also slightly excited. I can be my own person, even though I don't know who I am without him. I can do my thing. Have my own house with my own things.

But I also wish he was coming home to me tonight. I'm so sick of these feelings but it's only been just over two weeks, got so much more pain to go through and I'm so tired.

Well it looks like I spoke too soon yesterday about feeling better, I sobbed my heart out last night when I went to bed. I woke up having a panic attack in the night, and my ex was the only thing that would calm me down but he's not here now. I feel like I really miss him today.

Why do they show no feelings after a breakup, if I knew he felt as bad as I do right now I'd feel a whole lot better.

Hope today is better for you bombaygin you are not worthless or stupid.

Its just like a rollercoaster is this.

My marriage is ending after 14 years together (married for over 2). He was a really great guy and I used to hold him on a pedestal but he told me he wants to end it a few months ago, though we still live together (separate beds for over half a year). He has told me when the lease comes to its end, we will be moving separately. We have no kids. I can see how we have both made mistakes in this marriage but I have spent nearly a year trying to make it work, while he was being evasive and simply checked out of the relationship. I strongly suspect there is someone else - we have't been intimate in a long time and I have found various things through the months suggesting there is another woman (which he denies). I am deeply depressed and really struggling but trying my best to just keep going. The hardest part is realising and accepting that he may actually just not care anymore. I guess at some point the only thing left to do is to let go.

Hugs @NoNameBasis

@bombaygin I think you're right about men hurting and how they show it.

I don't know what hurts more. Not having him like I want to, or knowing he's hurting too. He cried when he left. Or knowing love (or maybe me) just wasn't enough.

Hope everyone is ok today.. been a hard couple of days here.. dd 16 's boyfriend finished it Sunday night been together 9 months her 1st love & all that.. so we've cried together & hugged lots.. going to rename my house heartbreak hotel 🙈

Have been dabbling in OD & it's all very half heartedly or maybe looking for confidence boost I don't know.. any swapping messages with a guy who then asks if we can chat on the phone, I figured it's just a chat & I have to move on so nice chat for about an hour.. after which he WhatsApp's he liked my voice etc.. then the inevitable (because men are ruled by their dicks) what turns you on? & what's your favourite position? 😞.. I'm no prude but is it strange I got totally freaked out.. feel like I never want anyone else to ever touch me. 😩 I know I'm no where near ready to date & told this guy that, didn't lead him on in fact talked about ex most of the call.. feel like I want him to sense what this guy said & rescue me, tell me it's a mistake & I'm his. Just can never see myself being attracted to anyone else or loving anyone else like I love him! Why doesn't he realise I'd be the most loyal, supportive loving partner he will ever find & that's enough for him!! I want this nightmare over 😢

Bombaygin I think your right about that, that's been confirmed with your past experience.

dilly123 how awful for your dd. Also that's so YUK about the OD thing, why do men think women want to hear that?!

I hurt so much but I can't seem to cry.
I really want to text him and tell him how I feel but really don't want to push him away and make him hate me. He was meant to be my happy ever after

dilly ugh. What's with these men! Why do they think we like that kind of thing ffs

I just broke and messaged him

@PorpentinaScamander How did it go?

I'm just broken today. I love him so much I don't know how my heart is still managing to keep going. This is the most painful thing I've ever had to go through 😭

I need some advice!!

It's my ex's brothers wedding coming up that we were all invited to. I mentioned I was gutted to not be going. My ex said I should still come.

I don't know what to do!!

Sit at home on my own while my kids and ex have a lovely day with the family that I no longer feel part of?

Or go and watch someone get married with the love of my life who doesn't want me and have all his family tell me they can't believe we've split up?

@ImpracticalJoke

Oh tricky one. If it was me I don't think I could bear to go. My exes dad is getting married in the summer. I have no idea if I'm still invited but I'm not going. I had only met him once though so it's not the same.

@PorpentinaScamander And how are you feeling after that text?

I love some of my ex's family so much and I think it might give me chance to say bye to some of them 😭.

Also...I can look really good and show him that I'm strong and will move on.

I'm so confused. I'm not thinking clearly today. I need a better day to decide.

I think my gut is telling me to go though.

@ImpracticalJoke I don't know really. I cried. I guess I'm glad in a way that he misses me too. Sad he didn't say I love you too though. I want to know if he does but theres nothing to be gained from knowing. I guess overall it gives me hope that he might change his mind.

Deciding another day might be better. If theres no rush then no need to worry just yet.

@PorpentinaScamander My ex says he loves me but just isn't in love with me anymore. He says I'm his best friend. I haven't asked him if he misses me, I'm too afraid of the answer.

He hasn't fallen out with me at all, we still text, not just about the kids but sometimes normal stuff too.

My whole body just hurts without him here though.

He thinks we should move on and he told me I should be with someone who can make me happy.
I wish he'd have loved me enough to try and make me happy. He did for the most part. Just this last year has been hard. But we're both to blame. I just wish he'd want to try 😭😭

ImpracticalJoke he said he loves me a few days after he left. He cried when he left and said he did love me he just doesn't want a family and wanted to leave before he ended up hating and resenting my DC.

I wish, like you, that he had been willing to try. If only he had told me how he was feeling we could have talked about it and maybe somehow made a compromise.

On the other hand maybe we couldn't. He could be immature, everyone has said he will most likely realise how much he loves and misses me and grow up and come back.

I hope he does but can't do that forever. I guess time will tell.

Hi everybody. Hope you've all got through the day ok.

@bombaygin did you end up messaging him?

I've tried not to message my ex today. Only a couple of brief things about the kids this morning and one random one this afternoon.

Now is when I really want to text though. Tell him rethink the situation. To tell him I love him more than anyone in the whole universe!!

But I won't. I'm going to be strong tonight.

We will get through this! We just need to keep pushing through and we'll come out the other side, smiling and laughing and being truly loved by someone we don't even know exists yet, someone who don't even realise we can love!!