Stag dos...

[Slp86]

So I’m having a debate with DH about stag dos- thankfully his is well in the past!

However he was tasked with arranging stag dos for his friends and he went over board with arranging strippers- not just the standard club, but boats, airport transfers etc etc to include them! When I expressed my unhappiness over this - that I found it excessive and that a club is ‘acceptable’ to me, however trying to incorporate them in to every part of the trip seems obsessive and disrespectful to me and the other partners!

His reply is that it’s totally normal to have as many strippers as poss and that I’m deluded if I think stag do’s happen without strippers and that I’m unreasonable to basically have tried to get him to change the itintery to just include a club!

So help clear it up for me please! Am I a phsyco controlling bunny boiler or a woman who just doesn’t see the need for the men to have a stripper with them at every point of the day!? 🙈

Yes Adrienne was on another thread last week, stating that single mothers were single because, somewhere along the line, they had made “evil” choices. It didn’t even have anything to do with the thread

Evil choices? Oh dear god!

Oh Christ. No not a bloke. Just easily confused.

You must be 'easily confused' to reply to bolded quotes from someone else's posts (Adrienne's) as though they are directed at you/you wrote them. And I'm not the only poster yours doing this with, it seems.

Or you are also posting as Adrienne.

Is that possible on MN? Can you have multiple accounts or would she/he change the name on their account constantly.

It is possible to have multiple accounts (if you have multiple email addresses). Also to name change is easy enough.

Your horrible partner has organised an exploitation spree of women for sex for male bonding fun. Truly truly vile.

I just don't understand why a celebration of marriage has to involve other naked women, I'm pretty chill but wouldn't stand for it no fucking way. If you need to look at other naked women you don't need me waiting at home

OP actual strippers ( who just strip ) wouldn't

Touch a job/event like this with a fucking bargepole! He knows what he's ordered! He's playing you & your naivety. The thought of spending actual time with the clients would not appeal to any actual strippers as there are no regulations regarding touching & where their hands will be.... no doormen to throw them out here I'm afraid.

Don't be so naive!

Only a bunch of escorts would take on this kind of booking - not strippers!

For the love of God , contact MN and ask them if they can somehow see if my account is linked to Adrienne .

Ex stripper here. Doesn't sound like he's hiring just strippers to me. Actual strippers only work in a club, it's their safe haven with doormen & the strict rules they enforce are adhered to. No strippers want to be 'spending time' with clients in the outside/real world. Your man has organised a shed load of party escorts!

I agree, especially if this is abroad/Eastern Europe.

Roroba - if you don’t mind me saying, male or female, you do sound slightly unhinged. It’s like you’ve leapt out if bed on a Saturday morning, started an argument with yourself on MN and some rant about digging out your underwear to get “degraded.” On MN

Don't understand why they can't just go on a nice city break (without the whores) or dinner with family to celebrate life before marriage.

Plenty of men (and women) have respectful stag/hen do's. It's all part of an insidious culture of macho sexism.

You are not far wrong , this has made me feel very unhinged. No room for mistakes here . The comment about the underwear was sarcastic, my fault for assuming that would be obvious.

Roroba - I'd this your first thread to post in on Mumsnet or something, I don't get why you keep responding to people who are quoting other posters eg Adrienne as though you wrote that yourself.

I very clearly, in bold, quoted Adrienne, said I thought 'she' was a man, and you responded as though I'd quoted you and you were Adrienne i.e. Christ, no I'm not a man.

And you've responded to others in the same way, I'm sure you understand why people are wondering what the story is

*is this your first thread

*Don't understand why they can't just go on a nice city break (without the whores) or dinner with family to celebrate life before marriage.

Plenty of men (and women) have respectful stag/hen do's. It's all part of an insidious culture of macho sexism.*

When I was subjected to this issue (strip club on stag do) it caused massive trouble and I wondered why the fk they couldn't just go on eg outdoors, extreme sports trip - lots of opportunity to be testosterone driven, to bond etc without the sleaze and making your partner feel hurt and angry because you're interacting sexually with other women.

I think people with a base, sleazy mindset see these occasions as the perfect opportunity to push their agenda and I'm sorry to say Ops partner seems right up there.

Also if getting married is such a devastating loss of freedom why do it? If your only interest in women is as purchasable disposable commodities don’t get married. Everyone will be a lot happier in the long run. Also, don’t have kids. Evolution will take care of your sort in the long run but the quicker the better IMHO

Yip. Already established that @moralitym1n1
Any chance soon of moving on from it ?

My DH didn't have a stripper as he would have died of embarrassment!!

I think it's quite common to have a stripper though but maybe not all throughout! Seems extreme. Usually they just pay for a dance and then the girls leave

@DonaldTwain

Awesome comment

@donaldtwain spot on 👍🏻

Roroba - If you’ve come on this thread to make a point that you’re happy for your partner to hang out in strip clubs or whatever, then that’s your look-out. But you must realise that women not being happy with this doesn’t mean they’re sexually repressed or something They’re just more discerning maybe? Or they don’t need gimmicks to get off? Let’s face it, whatever you think about strip clubs, most of them are tacky and the whole set-up is naff. This is not a turn on for many men or women. Porn is the same - mostly grotty, low-budget and a let-down in comparison to real life. Hanging out in strip clubs does not mean your any more liberated or awesome than the next woman; it just means you hang about in strip clubs.

And I say all this as someone whose DH used to be an options trader in the City where going in such clubs was a rite of passage.

He’s not been in that environment since his 20s. He admits to having been on stag dos where they have gone in strip clubs of various types. His own stag do was in the Arctic, so not much action there, apart from the polar bears.

He was once in a ski lodge when hookers turned up, but he called me to tell me and checked out.

The reason I came in this thread was to tell the story of one stag do where they got in a limo, not realising that they were picking up strippers to ride in the limo with them. He said it was highly uncomfortable, the girls looked very young and sickly and it was in Eastern Europe. Two of the men were groping the girls. An argument ensued. One of the girls fainted and an ambulance had to be called. After this, the weekend was soured. One group went their own way, while another still went in other strip clubs as if nothing had happened.

All this was when they were in their 20s. I also remember one wedding when, in the eve of the ceremony, the bride found out the DH to be had had sex with the “stripper” on the stag. The whole wedding was cancelled and that was that.

Yip. Already established that @moralitym1n1*
Any chance soon of moving on from it ?*

Already established what? That this is the first thread you've ever posted on on Mumsnet and you (bizarrely) can't figure out that when posters quite other posters, not you; that they're not addressing their points at you?

I think I'll have to concur with nomorekale.

*quote

@nomorekale - how fkg depressing.

And unfortunately not the first time I've heard of a wedding being cancelled due to the stag having sex with a 'stripper'.