Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Thanks @MIA12, that's useful. I'll do it maybe for a bit if they offer me a trial/discount but otherwise avoid!

Can I ask a question for those of you who use Bumble?

First of all, starting a convo with someone you've matched with, I literally don't know what to say except 'Hi'. I feel a pressure to come up with something super witty and interesting. Do the guys even care?

Second, do you wait for a guy to give their number if their interested. I'm not keen on giving my number out. How does one go about this? Do you ask? do they give? Do you just give up after a while?

It's all baffling

Thanks for your comments on Fab. I'm sure I'll have another go sometime.
I just need to be a bit braver, I guess.

@Deadsouls I always hate the first opening line. I'll say anything from well you are my first message / guess I better say hello before the time runs out. 🙈 I cringe at what I write I'm terrible.

I never give my number out, until we've been chatting a few days on there or a good flow of conversation.

Most the time they've asked me or gave me theirs

So, I bottled it, and sent Mrs TW a message (asking if I was sending too many messages - oh the irony )

deadsouls keep it light and maybe humorous. I usually say something like "we seem to have matched! I'm sure you acted in a moment of madness, but if not, tell me more about you" hth

Thank you lifegoes and lonleyman

I might have to steal your openers. I'm a novice at this so advice gratefully received

@Lonleyman at least you'll know one way or another! I always appreciated guys who were straight up and forthcoming with messages rather than ones who tried to play hard to get or with a 'treat them mean keep them keen' approach... I got bored of them before i ever had chance to get keen!!

Fingers crossed for you ☺️

Lonelyman I agree with wishy I much prefer men to be open. I hate those that play games. I don't know many women that like those that don't. I'm always open back too.

Deadsouls I’ve been using snapchat to talk instead of giving my number out. You can still make calls etc on there. I just can’t have the hassle of changing my number if someone turns out to be a strange.

My ex iron was only 5’5” although he did say 5’7” in his profile. I’m only short so it didn’t really matter to me 😂

Going to see him for closure tonight and then hopefully move on. Date with Mr Teacher still on for Friday and also talking (less) to Mr Artist and Mr Train Driver!!

shitwithsugaron I had my coil done today. 10 days without she said. Although I’m not in any demand so shouldn’t be too tricky!!

MIA his bad shagging put you in hospital and he has the nerve to block you?! Jesus. I hope we are bringing up a more self aware and considerate generation.

Any sign of tooold

Big yays to everyone with happy dates and exclusive chats. You give me hope my time will come.

Love this thread ❤️

@Notcoolmum thinking of you and remember no matter what, if he wants you he needs to prove it. You have done nothing wrong. Head up, you got this 😘😘😘

@Deadsouls - my messages were usually short but I aimed for snappy lol. No point writing tons if they weren’t going to reply. I’d try and include something from their profile so they knew I’d read it - I liked it when guys did the same.

A few of my openers were:

Well I used to meet men the old fashioned way - through alcohol and poor judgement but that didn’t work so I thought I’d try this!

If you had 24 hours to live what would you do? (I had some hilarious responses to this)

Where’s your favourite place in the whole world?

Just a few examples.

@MIA12 at a risk of sounding inappropriately nosy, how did he damage you enough to end up in hospital?!

Opening messages on Tinder/Bumble:
What box set do you have that you haven't watched?

A friend was just asked that one

Hi everyone. The thread has really whipped along! I'm bloody shattered. 2 irons kinda on the go. Whatsapping. Still swiping because apparebtly it's what we do now.

love I didn't see an update about mr SA whizzing through the thread. Dis you guys manage to see each other again?

I don’t know your story with the ex iron Notcoolmum but hope you get the closure you need tonight. Good that you have other dates lined up as a distraction too. To be fair to my guy he had no idea and I wasn’t planning on ever telling him if we’d carried on seeing each other.

Anyone who is a bit squeamish avert your eyes now! Sidge he caused a haematoma. I had a lump that was getting bigger by the hour. I couldn’t even sit down at hospital! So painful. It was because he lost most of his erection as soon as I got a condom out (after trying to put it in without one ) but kept repeatedly jabbing me trying and failing to get it in with a semi! I had to have incision and drainage.

OMG MIA I can't believe he blocked you after damaging you!!

I'm waiting for my FWB, after a glass of wine on an empty stomach ....

Bloody hell MIA! That takes some doing! You’d have thought with a floppy one he wouldn’t have caused that much damage, poor you!

I hope you’re feeling better now 💐

mia you poor thing that sounds horrendous and I didn’t even know it was possible for that to happen!and trying to get it in without a condom first! The whole story makes him sound like a tosser x

Still lurking, this thread moves so fast.
I’ve hidden my profile on Bumble. I met someone just before I did it (a couple of weeks ago) I didn’t really think that it would go anywhere - he’s 14 years older than me, but so kind and thoughtful that I thought I’d enjoy meeting him. He is really funny and very easy company. I’m being a bit cautious as I think that it takes time for people to show their true character. So far he is cool and I am really enjoying getting to know him. If it fizzles then I’m going to take some time out anyway and just refocus a little.
I had a couple of moments of clarity a couple of days ago and feeling good from it.
Still enjoying reading everyone’s stories!

MIA that's awful. He sounds like a horrible twat.

MIA - that’s horrendous!

Wotcher that sounds lovely.

I've decided to go for a second date with Mr I Have No Time To Date.
Miraculously, after I told him that his lack of availability meant no second date, he suddenly found he was free to meet on Friday.

BatshitCrazy I’m guessing he was shocked but you’d check the other person was ok wouldn’t you? I feel like my message was a bit harsh now so maybe it panicked him. Or maybe he’s just a twat.

Sidge it was the repeated failed attempts. We DTD 3 times over the space of a few hours but each time only lasted literally two minutes so it wasn’t the act of DTD itself.

Terrible isn’t it Coco and it’s literally just come back to me that at one point the condom fell off and he was carrying on trying to get it in without one until I realised.

mia think about what you're saying. You ended up in the hospital because of his sexual mishaps and he blocked You! And you're wondering if some words on a screen were too much for him. Tell you a story a freind of mine ended up with an ectopic pregnancy from some fuckwit (from old) who was out shagging other women while she was in the hospital. All came out later. These men need to be taught a lesson

Sorry I can’t keep up with the thread and keep cross posting.

Sounds like you’ve got something lovely developing Wotcher

Thanks MyOld and hope your date goes well, and he pulls his socks up about making future plans.