Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@richdeniro just read the article you linked and I would say there's a difference between being sensitive and desperate or insecure (and I don't mean that to sound harsh, I have no knowledge of your OLD experience).

Stealth - I personally wouldn't wait 48hrs before replying and I'd be really put off if someone did that to me. . I always have my phone on me so reply fairly promptly, depending on who it is and what they have msg about. Only if it's someone I really wasn't interested in I'd reply maybe a day later at the most. But that's me.

lonleyman It has only just dawned on me that I haven't snogged anyone new in twenty years! Now I'm nervous!

I would think it's ready rude if it took 2 days for someone to reply. I mean who doesn't use their phone for 2 days??

StealthNinja - I was too.
To be clear, I hadn't snogged ANYONE (not even my xw) for over 12 years... :(

I "went in" for a kiss on the lips, but was pulled in for a snog.. It all came flooding back!

tooold do you think that's too long? Maybe 24 hours then. As I see it Mr Beard hasn't been online for a few days and has kept me waiting. I don't think he has a job that means he's online all the time but I think Match would have sent him an email saying I'd contacted him.

Hmmm will rethink. I suppose my point is that I will not reply straight away. Thank you tooold

Have received another message from Mr Pest. A fourth version of 'Hiya sexy' rather than anything intelligent. I actually cannot think of anything to say back.

I wouldn’t wait 48 hours between messages and if someone did that to me I’d be pretty pissed off actually, and think they’d switched off.

We’re all different but I like a reasonable level of contact ie daily, and if someone I’d been messaging didn’t reply for 2 days I’d move along! Or if we were more established eg had had some dates I’d be quite confused and wonder what was wrong.

I don’t feel that one needs arbitrary rules, but it’s good to keep the thread rules in your head! Don’t overinvest especially before meeting, don’t play games, don’t worry about double texting etc. I’m a terrible over thinker and do read far too much into texts, messages, etc and have learned to calm down a lot since starting OLD. If they like me, they like me, and me sending two texts in a row isn’t going to change that.

Stealth - I see your point with MrBeard. That's rude so yes I would keep him waiting, lol.

lonleyman have to say you crack me up! Made me chuckle. Glad all is coming back :)

Stealth I’d delete Mr Pest - if he can’t even form a coherent sentence then he’s not worth a reply IMO!

Stealth just be natural. If a message prompts a response in your head, just send it - no need to impose a rule. If it leaves you cold, don't respond. Re the guy who thinks you're really sexy but can't think of anything else to say - I wouldn't bother replying full stop.

Lonely that resonates with me so much. Had no idea how amazing it would be to snog someone after such a very long time snogless - maybe 10 years in my case? I forget. I literally went weak at the knees and the guy thought I was fainting. I could not have wished for a nicer man to reintroduce me to carnal delights, and though it didn't last (never thought it would), I am so so happy I just threw caution to the wind and went for it.

My 'FWB' wants to move in. This is going weird.

Hmm blimey I had boundaries and you guys are making me rethink them! I suppose it depends what his message said. If he apologised for making me wait - and given it was half-term he might've gone on holiday - then I might be more tolerant. I can see that he just hasn't been on Match since my message (if I am reading it correctly). If he had been on and ignored me then I would probably not bother.

Anyway I am overthinking a man who might never ever get in touch with me when I have the delightful Mr Pest who has sent me a 5th message now with an innuendo. Think I need to step away from the keyboard and the heat of Mr Pest or maybe I need to get the washing out of the machine

user :) Glad I made you laugh. You won't be the last woman I make laugh...

Cassettes Ikwym. I had a, er, different reaction...

Stealth I wouldn't be happy of someone took 48 hours to get back to me. And lots of 'hello sexy' messages are annoying and unimaginative, so I would probably knock that one on the head too.

Tooold the cat really did look dead! She is 16 and has been off her food for a couple of days and just lying in the corner of the room. She hates going to the vet so I decided to wait a few days before taking her, and luckily she is a little bit better today. Mr Much Younger was very sweet about it all, including my snotty wailing and keening when I thought she was dead.

I agree about not wanting to mess it up with Mr Much Younger, but I really want to try out a threesome (with no emotional ties). It has long been a fantasy of mine and now that it could be a reality I feel that it would be silly to pass it over. Mr Much Younger might be meeting and messaging other women (we haven't had the chat yet) so I feel that it is okay to keep my options open with the Fab couple. I do know that once I have dtd with Mr Much Younger I will not want to carry on with the Fab couple, so I am thinking that I just need to get it out of my system.

Stealth I wouldn't message someone who expressly said they'd like a woman who 'lived alone' 😕

Lonley glad your updated profile is working for you!

I had a, er, different reaction

Pmsl here! Lonlyman

Lily - Oh god, yes, glad the cat has revived a bit now. And yes, no harm in the threesome then.

@TooOld I don't think you can change who you are either although I think there are some things I can change such as improving self esteem and the things @Stealth said in her post. That's definitely the way I am trying approach things. My biggest problem is if I really like someone on a first date and can see a least a medium term future I tend to rush things and put all my eggs into one basket which does make me appear desperate and scares people off. This is where I'm going to massively make an effort to change. It is really hard to do when you like someone and seem to click with them though.

So sorry to hear about how things have gone recently with MrBE by the way, I really had a high hopes for you there. Just remember that you deserve better.

What lovely first snog stories. I thought I was happily married and miss all that.

I was wondering if Mr Pest was a real person or a catfish but given we have to pay I guess he must be serious. In that case I will block him if it's possible.

Batshit thats what I thought but then he 'favourited' me. All 4 guys I have messaged now have got reasons why we're not compatible yet they all approached me - I'm too short, one year too old, don't live alone, don't smoke etc. It's entirely possible I might never meet any of them and they're all time wasters!

I would be quite happy to have a drink with the guy who wants a woman who lives alone just because I haven't had a date for 20 years and perhaps I need to have a few dates with low expectations.

I think our reactions were essentially the same actually Lonely - was being euphemistic

cassettes your FWB want to move in???

lilyrose sounds like you might have to move fast with the fab couple then

stealth I assume by lives alone he means no flat mates, partners or kids but I would be thinking it was so I am easier to murder 😘

Stealth apologies but I can't remember the story with Mr Beard. Have you been exchanging messages with him up til now on Match?
You can join Match for free and have a free trial for a couple of days. After that you can't see who has messaged you.
Frustrating because you don't know who is a paid user and who isn't.

Stealth hopefully the 'lives alone' stipulation is as Marlboro states - no kids or flatmates, but it would make me feel a bit nervous about the situation. He has probably worded it badly, having had an embarrassing experience being caught in flagrante on the sofa by a curious youngster when dating a woman who has kids .

Marlboro I suspect I will have to move very quickly with the threesome once I get back from holiday . My Much Younger has offered to pick me up from the airport as my flight home arrives rather late and I might miss the last train home. I said that I would text him if there was a problem, but I think I will probably get a cab.

Just had a full and frank exchange with Mr Overkeen FWB setting out mutual wants/expectations. Can't be sure he's not just telling me what I want to hear but we are at least on the same page re NO MOVING IN! Will keep under close review. Really just want to concentrate on the sex .

Place-marking (blimey these threads are moving fast - hopefully all lovely stories!)