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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH says if I go home he will marry someone else

658 replies

Changedforthis000 · 13/02/2019 06:35

This sounds like it’s made up, I wish it was! Have namechanged too btw.

My head is all over the place so please bear with me!
I am currently a few weeks pregnant and want to have the baby in the UK. We (me and 5 year old daughter) moved to a country outside of the UK in June and have not settled in well at all. DH has been here on and off for 3 years and we have made do with visits etc. DH doesn’t agree to me leaving and having the baby in the UK, he said if we leave he will marry someone else as he doesn’t want to go back to the UK. I have booked flights to go home soon and he said I’m making the biggest mistake of my life, I don’t care about our children if I take them back to the UK etc.

I don’t know what I’m posting for I just don’t have anyone in real life to talk to as I’m so embarrassed that he he would say he’ll marry someone else (I’ve no doubts he will do this and is not just making empty threats) this country allows polygamy. I will basically be going home to my parents house with nothing and don’t know what I’m going to do Sad

OP posts:
pinkgloves · 19/02/2019 22:43

Bless you op. Your life must feel like it's falling apart a little.

You'll be back with your family who love you soon. The pain will feel better and you'll have your lovely baby soon. Thanks

Loyaultemelie · 19/02/2019 23:10

Safe flight

jpclarke · 19/02/2019 23:13

So sorry you are going through this, but I am glad you got through security and I think you will feel a small bit more relief when your flight takes off. Your (d)h sounds like he is a decent enough guy behind it all. He could of made life much more difficult for you but ultimately had respect for your decision. I hope it works out for you and your children, best of luck for the future. You have got through a massive hurdle BrewBiscuitCakeThanksStar

glamorousgrandmother · 20/02/2019 06:20

Safe journey.

Gruzinkerbell1 · 20/02/2019 07:13

Safe flight OP Flowers

thebabysmellsofpooagain · 20/02/2019 07:23

Thank goodness! I've just woken up and this is one of the first things I have done - checked to see if OP has updated.

I'm so pleased you are safely on your way home ThanksThanksThanksThanks

MashedSpud · 20/02/2019 07:24

When he begs you to return remind yourself about his use of dating/marriage websites, his threats of divorce and other wives. Stay here in the UK so your daughter has human rights and won't be -forced into- persuaded to have an arranged marriage.

olderthanyouthink · 20/02/2019 07:41

Fly safe 🤗

Springwalk · 20/02/2019 07:46

Oh well done op! You did it. You little girl will be so happy to be home.
I can imagine it must have been a very difficult decision, but the right one, certainly for your children Bear
I am so pleased you are safe and well, that is all the matters.
Safe flight op FlowersFlowersStar

ThanosSavedMe · 20/02/2019 07:48

Please let us know you’re home safely.

I’m sure he’ll be very sorry and promise to change to try and get you back. Do no go back. If he loves you and misses you that much, he can come back to the uk. Do not risk yours of your children’s safety.

SalliSunbeem · 20/02/2019 07:57

Not everything is as it seems.

thebabysmellsofpooagain · 20/02/2019 08:02

@SalliSunbeem what do you mean?

Kedgeree · 20/02/2019 08:13

Following with interest.

woolduvet · 20/02/2019 08:13

So relieved

MrsPerfect12 · 20/02/2019 08:17

Wishing you a safe journey home. I can imagine this is so hard for you. I hope your husband joins you back in the UK. Flowers

user1498854363 · 20/02/2019 08:25

Thinking of you Op, hope you are with yr Mum and feeling safe 💐💐

Jaffacakebeast · 20/02/2019 09:41

.

7yo7yo · 20/02/2019 10:15

Are you back op?

Original poster
Changedforthis000 · 20/02/2019 10:23

Hi all. Not long arrived at my parents, cuppa in hand Brew
Had a cry to my mum, not feeling great but I don't expect to. Haven't spoke to DH properly just to tell him we'd arrived, I think I need a few days to get my head around what's happening. I'll probably stay off this thread for a while but wanted to update and thank everyone for the thoughts and support Flowers

OP posts:
Dragonlight · 20/02/2019 10:23

Hoping you are ok OP.

inlectorecumbit · 20/02/2019 10:27

Good luck for the future OP Flowers
I am glad you and your DD are safely home

Quiettiger · 20/02/2019 10:28

Delighted that you're back in the UK and safe - I've been following this thread with my heart in my mouth.

Don't be browbeaten into making any choices you don't want to. The only thing that matters is your safety, your DD and your unborn baby. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

C0untDucku1a · 20/02/2019 10:37

Well done

Abitlost2015 · 20/02/2019 10:47

Thanks for the update, I am glad to hear you have landed. I have not lived in the Middle East but have lived in Arab countries and life and rights for women are very different to what we are used to in the UK. I think it’s difficult to evaluate your love and relationship with DH on its own (which may be great) from the same in the context of living in an environment you cannot get used to. That can be unbearable even if you love each other.

Steeve · 20/02/2019 10:51

Thank God you're home, well done.

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