DH says if I go home he will marry someone else

[Changedforthis000]

This sounds like it’s made up, I wish it was! Have namechanged too btw.

My head is all over the place so please bear with me!
I am currently a few weeks pregnant and want to have the baby in the UK. We (me and 5 year old daughter) moved to a country outside of the UK in June and have not settled in well at all. DH has been here on and off for 3 years and we have made do with visits etc. DH doesn’t agree to me leaving and having the baby in the UK, he said if we leave he will marry someone else as he doesn’t want to go back to the UK. I have booked flights to go home soon and he said I’m making the biggest mistake of my life, I don’t care about our children if I take them back to the UK etc.

I don’t know what I’m posting for I just don’t have anyone in real life to talk to as I’m so embarrassed that he he would say he’ll marry someone else (I’ve no doubts he will do this and is not just making empty threats) this country allows polygamy. I will basically be going home to my parents house with nothing and don’t know what I’m going to do

He is threatening you to force you to stay with him divorce or another wife so far.
If he truly loved you he would be getting on that plane with you op.

Don’t get drawn into this emotionally, a holiday is not grounds for divorce even an extended one.
Stay calm.
Home first, decisions later.

Putting you through this when you are pregnant and so far from home are not the actions of a loving decent man.
It’s really important to remember why you are doing this. Read the thread again. Why would so many people be worried about you.

He is trying to crush your resolve. Stay calm, keep telling him you want to stay married and please get on the plane.

Why is it so important to you to have your baby in the UK? Could you not stay wherever you are and have it there?

@Saylav pretty sure OP explained earlier on that she has no support network where she is and all her family are back in the UK. Pretty normal for a woman to want to give birth where she will have help, isn't it? Especially when she has another child already.

I'm rooting for you OP. Will be so relieved when you get back. In all of this, you must remember that you wanting to have your baby in the UK, and all the legal ramifications of that, is completely reasonable. Your DH is the one making it some sort of huge, relationship ending issue. You are not, he is. Don't feel guilty because of what he is doing. Plenty of my expat friends have gone home for the pregnancy/birth, then returned.

He may or may not divorce you, right now you need to think of yourself and your children.

Go home and be with your family, you'll be able to think clearer when you've got some distance and so will he.

I've only just discovered this thread OP, wishing you all the very best

Do you really still want someone who is prepared to threaten you to keep you there?
Keep your guard up until you get home. If he cares about you then he'll do his best to maintain a relationship with you in England. If he doesn't care enough then he won't. But don't be blackmailed. And protect those children and yourself. He's shown he's not to be trusted.

Women don't have very good rights in the Middle East. The controlling party generally holds on to passports.

As others have said, bring your flights forward again and get out.

Why would any normal partner mention getting married again!!

Well regardless of his threats, it is over either way. You would always resent him controlling you if you were to stay, he cannot accept you leaving. Tbh I suspect he already has a potential replacement lined up. At least in UK you have support.

Goodness OP I hope you get out x

Good luck today OP

You should say to him that you clearly never loved me or took our relationship seriously if you will divorce me instead of raising a family in the UK.

On the other hand, you shouldn't beg him, you should thank him for getting away from his clutches. He should be begging YOU. Not the other way around. I'd just retort to him 'if you loved me you'd come with me'.

Just out of interest, why won't he consider coming back to the UK himself?

Let’s hope she got on the plane.

Oh my gosh op. I've just read all of this!! I've no practical advice to offer but just wanted to send you good wishes and a safe journey

Good luck and big hugs. I hope it goes smoothly.

Please updated asap, very worried he will talk you out of leaving.

@Changedforthis000 just hoping you are ok and are safely on your flight home

didn't she say she's going tomorrow not today?

She did but because it was in the middle of the night posters are assuming it is today. But different time zones and all that...

I hope you're on your way home, reading this thread through the night made me very scared for you, gave me chills. Please, please, please be on your way home with DD in tow.

It will be late afternoon in the Middle East now, so op and dd should be on the flight tonight/ early hours of the morning.
We will hopefully soon know you are safe and on the way home. I have been on MN and it is very rare to feel so worried about a thread.
Be strong op, you will soon be home 🙏🏻

I haven't commented at all so far but have kept up to date and will be relieved when the OP lands in the UK.

I'm worried too... good luck OP. Please do update when you can.