Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Interesting q TooOld.

I think it's been massively normalised by p0rn consumption. It's much less common that Reddit and p0rnhub would have you believe, and many gay men don't even do it. At least they've got a prostate to get more fun out of it.

I think it's something that if you both want, and have discussed, in a longer relationship then do what you like. Imho it has little place in casual dating. And it's not on the table personally.

unique same here. It’s something I tried once with a long term partner, didn’t enjoy it so never plan on trying it again. It has been normalised by porn but it’s not something that many of us enjoy.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/25122073/ TooOld

Firstly - I need help on POF. I'm not sure how to look for people. Do I just wait for men to message me?

Secondly - ANAL. I quite enjoy it, when it's done good. It's never something I say no to.

@unique1986
See, I wouldn't have dated anyone that remotely suggested doing anything. I hate any form of sex chat prior to meeting, always found anyone that tried it just spouted out the same boring generic shite and sent me to sleep.
@TooOldForThis67 on the anal thing, I've done it in the past with a few partners (long time ago!) didn't get much out of it so ruled it out as something I didn't enjoy. Then I met my BF .... I think if he'd suggested it, I'd have said no because I assumed it'd be the same as other times I've done it. As it is, It just kind of happened 🤷🏼‍♀️ and it was completely different with him and now I'm an anal whore I love it 😬

Right, ok, wishy notcool love unique Warls life as you are up for talking about it, apologies to anyone else.
So, if you tell someone that you've tried it and it was painful and they say that they like it but would never hurt you, what would you think?
As a bit of background, I've had quite a few relationships where this has come up and I've always been willing to give it a try with a new partner just in case they are the one that makes it feel good. With MrWow he was so massive that I just laughed him off and he didn't object although he did say his ex preferred it!?
I just love uncomplicated sex, I'm not a prude, will try different positions etc. I just don't want this to be the 'white elephant' in the bedroom, when we ever get there! Lol. Am I normal?

Hello,
I posted briefly on the last thread.... I'm currently on the Fab site.
I think there a couple of you who are on there. How are you finding it?

I was expecting the usual dick picks, but so far, not so good.
I am however messaging one guy, my type physically, but he seems very full on. I've mentioned a coffee to see if we click. He agreed but he seems more interested in whattsapping constantly throughout the day.

What do you think?

I think whatever you are happy with goes, as long as you are genuinely happy and trust him not to carry on if you change your mind. I wouldn't be offended if it was requested, but I've once explicitly said ' no bum fun ' just for clarity to an actual new partner. And I've declined a potential OLD date once it was evident that he's extremely keen on it. I just said absolute no I'm afraid, let's not meet.

To be absolutely frank I really enjoy shagging, as a hobby, when I have a willing participant and I am extremely good at something else. If that isn't enough then tough luck, find someone else.

So, I just 'bumped into' MrTeacher in the car park of the coffee shop we went on our first date to, so that he could give me the book he thought I'd enjoy.

Lets just say he got his kiss, and it is a very good thing we were in public, because things could have got a little bit out of hand if we hadn't been

We have a date arranged for Saturday, and to say I'm a tiny bit excited about seeing him again, is somewhat of an understatement

TooOld completely normal. I think if you have already tried it and not enjoyed it then it’s best to say “it’s not really for me” and draw a line under it, I wouldn’t make a big issue of it, if he can’t except it then he’s not a keeper. I have tried most things but I’m easily pleased with simple sex (the way it’s meant to be). I feel like I’ve hit the jackpot with Mr SA as he’s not that keen on BJ’s and I’m not that keen on doing them 🤣🤣. I wouldn’t expect anyone to do anything they are not comfortable with especially if they have tried it before and not liked it.

@WarIsPeace 'a willing participant' haha I love that!

@TooOldForThis67 for me I really hate planning or discussing things in advance when it comes to bedroom antics. It feels too planned and adds pressure so I've always been a go with the flow kind of person.
Saying that I'd say with what you've described, it's entirely up to you whether you want to give it another go or not. You're well within your rights to say no if it's not something you enjoy.
Like I said, I think if we'd openly spoken about it before hand I'd have put a stop to it before it ever began but there was never any sex chat with us so it just ended up in there 😆
He's very loving and .... erm... attentive to my needs 😬 in the bedroom so I feel totally relaxed trying new things without discussion, I know if I asked him to stop he would so I don't feel we need to talk about it.

Thanks love and Warls that's what I'm thinking.

thesheep - sounds good so far!

Tooold I’d agree with someone else who said different partners can be very different. I’ve not enjoyed in past and with others it’s great. Not size related either. I’d never say never- unless they completely obsessed and that’s all they want!

I like anal and probably wouldn't date someone who didn't but it's horses for courses :)

wishy - I find the start of new relationships so difficult to navigate. Although I'm looking for a 'relationship' I've had a lot of casual encounters where sex hasn't been discussed before hand, just happens!
Your bloke sounds delightful!

For an 'over thinker' maybe studying Psychology at Uni was a bad move for my sex life and relationships .
MrGingerNinger was really into anal, wouldn't leave the bloody thing alone. I even brough an anal douche, ffs.
I'm learning my boundaries though, thanks to this thread.

@TooOldForThis67 I know what you mean! Although most of my casual encounters were in my younger days when I really didn't give a shit what went where 😂🙈 I'd do just about anything with anyone back then!
Then ironically married a virgin and my sex drive plummeted, i think that may have been down to the choice of husband though 😳

Since marriage ended my sex drive has returned in a massive way but I can't get excited by just anyone these days. I need to have a good mental connection with them in order to feel satisfied so until meeting BF on OLD nobody really did it for me!
He's not so bad keep thinking there must be some terrible secret waiting to emerge as so far he's ticked all the boxes (literally )

@TooOldForThis67 I've sent you a message, in case I offended anyone ☺️

@wishywashy6 @TooOldForThis67

I have to agree with the mental connection. When I was younger, it didn't bother me.

But I find since I split up with my sons dad 16 years ago I can't ever just sleep with a man. I need to have a mental connection with them. Unfortunately that also means, I end up getting really hurt when it goes wrong.

It has to be about what you want and if they can't respect that. Then what type of person are they.

I agree with what other posters have said...anal is different with different men. Myself I never say no the first time and see how it goes but if you don't want it it should be off the cards right away! And yes I also know through gay freinds that anal isn't massively common there either.

're mental connection. Same here. I actually need the man to be intelligent. I read a great term the other day 'sapiosexual' ... people who get turned on by quick thinkers ...the other was nymphobrainiac haha

wishy and lifegoes - I get you. Since I split with my STBX my appetite has hit the roof. But I crave the emotional connection and the few times I've had it, it's been mind blowing, so that's what I'm seeking now. I've not even dtd with MrBE yet. I practically ran away last Sat (although MrYoung was holding my dog hostage). But it wasn't just that, I was so fecking nervous. I really like this guy. We had a brief discussion today about preferences and it's really got to me. I think too much talk and not enough action! Lol.

It is all a bit scary when you sleep with someone new, I spent most of yesterday in bed with Mr SA and probably made a complete tit of myself, we talked a lot in between sex, he asked me a lot of questions and I hesitated and either gave totally stupid answers or didn’t answer, I think he probably thinks I have slept around a lot thanks to my stupid answers. He also asked me “what makes sex good?” and I didn’t know what to say, what I should have said is “it’s more about the connection and feelings between 2 people” but I didn’t say it. Yesterday was probably the best sex I have had in quite a while and their was deffently a connection (for me anyway) but I’m rubbish at verbalising things, probably because I’m scared of laying my cards on the table and then getting hurt.

tooold I think we need to be comfortable saying no to something we don’t like. With my current intron we have done it but another time it just so I said no. As long as it’s mutual and consensual and you can say no and be listened to at any time it’s all good I think x

Love - is MrSA a FWB or potential relationship/see where it goes? Sounds like a typical post shag chat tho! Lol.

Oh god to typos. Current iron and it hurt. Hope that made sense!