Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
TheSeaAndMe · 13/02/2019 10:40

I wouldn't like it if someone had never left home. It might be different if they had been living away from home for years but were just back at home for a while.

Just signed up to badoo! Sooo many people who say they are 39 and look about 69 😂😂😂.

Also it's showing me all women, who are mostly straight!

unique1986 · 13/02/2019 10:41

( I did live at home for a long time tho)

shitwithsugaron · 13/02/2019 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unique1986 · 13/02/2019 10:54

@shit
Yeh I have own place, and try not to say it for a while.

Bluezoo123 · 13/02/2019 11:15

unique yep it’s me.i still need to tie up the loose ends with that one-it’s a long and boring story-but ultimately not right for me long term anyway so was considering dipping my toe back in.

DaffoDeffo · 13/02/2019 11:33

hello shit lovely to see you on here too :)

I met a woman the other night who is only slightly younger than me (I'm late 40s) and still lives at home - it does appear to be more and more common but I agree, I'd like to know why I think!

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 13/02/2019 12:39

CocoKoko I tried speed dating last year. It was good fun but I didn't meet anyone I liked.
I was surprised that there were only 10 men and 10 women. This meant you saw everyone before the event had started and spoke to quite a few, so I'd eliminated about half by the time the clock started ticking.
Bigger cities may have bigger events.

But knowing you only had a few minutes to chat to someone was interesting. I planned a few questions beforehand which is useful. But otherwise we just covered the usual work, hobbies etc.

Daffo I haven't tried a dating agency but I did contact one to see what they offered. They had singles events every month, which sounded quite good. The next level up was matchmaking. They would introduce you to potential matches. Everyone is vetted with a face to face meeting.

Apart from the cost, two other things stopped me. There weren't many singles events near me. I'd have to travel at least 30miles. Second, matches were chosen within a 50mile radius. That's their minimum distance which is too far for me.

I suspect it would be good if you lived in London because there would be lots of potential professionals. But out here in the countryside, the match pool is too small.

Bluezoo123 · 13/02/2019 12:54

Does anyone know why on pof it would have a white exclamation mark in red next to your profile?

LilyRose88 · 13/02/2019 13:29

@Coco no idea about the exclamation mark. I have just checked my profile and it doesn't have anything. Do you have a paid subscription or the free version? I have the free version - maybe yours is offering you a deal to upgrade or something. Have you clicked on the exclamation mark to see if it takes you anywhere?

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 13/02/2019 13:41

It means your profile is hidden

Bluezoo123 · 13/02/2019 13:43

Thank you myold - just the way I like it!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 13/02/2019 13:45

My date with Mr Italian is in 3 and a half hours 😬 He checked in with me this morning to say he was looking forward to it .

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 13/02/2019 13:50

I joined Badoo. It's bonkers.
There seems to be no distance settings, so I've ended up chatting to a few men who are miles and miles away.
You can check their location but you have to look at every profile to do that. After the first few I got bored and just swiped left or right to see what happened.

If nothing else, I'm practicing my messaging skills.

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 13/02/2019 14:03

Koko - sorry to hear that. Hope you're ok? Flowers

OP posts:
lifegoes · 13/02/2019 14:08

So three days in and I've "completed" tinder.

There's no one left near me, I have 50miles.

I do have one date Thursday. But would prefer to keep looking 👀🤔

unique1986 · 13/02/2019 14:12

Ooo I better stop logging in to the dating sites till the weekend.
It looks sad to be on there tonight or tomorrow yes...

wishywashy6 · 13/02/2019 14:16

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking there is definitely a way to set your location on badoo although I can't remember how to do it! I know when I was on there I only ever got people within a 20 mile radius

DaffoDeffo · 13/02/2019 14:50

thanks myoldbrain

I am in London so I wonder if it's worth doing. It's not that I'm looking for a high net worth individual at all and I only did OLD for 3 months last time before I came off but I like the idea of someone else vetting the people first. I remember when I looked it up before and there was one agency that insisted you had been divorced for 2 years (and they checked) and there were a whole load of other deep checks they did on you which I have no problem with! Can't make up my mind. Did watch a programme on ch4/5? about a dating agency and thought it looked quite good. Think I'll try bumble from the weekend and then make a decision. Don't want to turn it on on Valentines day which is why I'll wait till then!

Lovemusic33 · 13/02/2019 15:34

I have dated several men who still live at home and they were both weird, one felt he was looking oking after his mum as she was single, the other planned on staying until his mum died so he could have her house 😐 both had no idea how to live independently. It makes things a bit awkward because you can’t go back to his for sex.

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 13/02/2019 16:04

Can I just say Anal Sex on this thread. Don't want to post on the Sex thread as haven't had good experience with replies on other matters and I know you lot.
So, is it the 'white elephant' in the room with new relationships? Don't want to say anymore and am happy to chat via PM.
Thanks.
Sorry - bit random but relevant.

OP posts:
Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 13/02/2019 16:12

My bro lives with my Mum love I think for both the reasons you said! That aside, I think it's becoming quite common, especially if they have younger kids and paying maintenance. It's difficult for them to get their feet off the ground, again. My 9mth relationship, MrWow, lived with his sister and I admit to getting bored of coming back to mine every time. My bro gets plenty of dates tho so it obviously doesn't put the ladies off too much!

OP posts:
wishywashy6 · 13/02/2019 16:34

@TooOldForThis67 what do you want to know about anal? 😂 not many places you can say that sentence without getting 😳😳😳 faces!!

Notcoolmum · 13/02/2019 16:34

White elephant how tooold? I’ve done it with most of my partners through my life. I think it happens earlier in the relationship these days...

Lovemusic33 · 13/02/2019 16:43

TooOld I usually discus annal with guys before I sleep with them as I hate it when they just assume your up for it. It’s not something I enjoy 🤣

unique1986 · 13/02/2019 16:47

Wouldn't date anyone that would even suggest that.