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Original poster

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
TheSeaAndMe · 13/02/2019 00:15

I will probably try tinder again. I feel kind of shy as I know that I will know a lot of the people on there and it makes me feel a little anxious about what to write on my profile.

NKFell · 13/02/2019 00:29

Life I think always meet up asap. With MrMountain I met after 2 days of texting.

shitwithsugaron · 13/02/2019 07:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shitwithsugaron · 13/02/2019 07:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 13/02/2019 07:25

crack that's so rude that he's popped up again after nearly two weeks. Don't think I'd be giving him a second chance!

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 13/02/2019 07:30

Quite a catchy song crackofdoom - I doubt you'd see much of him living so far away but if you want to see that gig then go for it then don't msg him for 12 days!!! Lol.
TheSea - Welcome. Have you tried POF or Badoo?

Have a great day everyone. x

OP posts:
BatshitCrazyWoman · 13/02/2019 07:58

That said, if I do end up with too many matches, I can be a bit slow on the messages. But not once we're on WA ...

wishywashy6 · 13/02/2019 07:58

@crackofdoom .... just throwing this out there but when you say he went quiet on you for 12 days, I'm assuming you went quiet on him too? Or were you messaging him and he was ignoring you?
As much as it's a bit odd that his messaging pattern changed so suddenly and you'd be wise to be slightly cautious I also think that while you're only in the chatting phase there should be no expectations. The people at the other side of the screen have their own lives and stories going on. Without wanting to sound harsh, they owe you nothing and can't be expected to make you a priority before you've even met.
It's easy to feel a bit put out but in this situation I think I'd have asked him outright where he'd disappeared to and go from there.

Auba14 · 13/02/2019 08:35

richdeniro It's so interesting to hear that from a male perspective, it seems like you're very quick to overinvest based on the one date which isn't really a great marker for what a person is like. I'm surprised there are men who think along that wavelength, considering the amount of male idiots that rear their heads on these dating websites! It's refreshing to hear about someone who actually cares about people.

You definitely will find someone! You seem like you're a good looking lad who has no problem attracting the girls, so it's getting to a point in your mind whereby you don't overinvest.

Auba14 · 13/02/2019 08:39

Meanwhile, I'm trying to persuade two of my perpetually single female friends at work to sign up for dating websites, or at least let me make them an application online for First Dates!

Woman 1 is 37, and she looks about 25. Absolutely beautiful but ends up with flashy idiots who seem to meet her a few times and then ghost. She's had an absolute nightmare with dates and has given up with Tinder. She was on PoF but got inundated with sexual messages within hours of signing up. We just want her to meet a nice man and be happy and have babies! (This one is also the friend of my current person so if she's happy, she'll be happy for us when we eventually tell her!)

Woman 2 is a technophone, 53 and has no problem attracting men in real life, but they're usually always married. And she's been married a few times ahem. So we want her to meet a nice man who won't use her and isn't married and she has a tendency to go psycho when they disappear on her (which has happened often!)

Any suggestions on the best dating sites for these two? I'm trying to persuade them both to sign up for Bumble with no luck...

TheSeaAndMe · 13/02/2019 08:57

Thanks for the welcome!

I started to fill out the POF profile form once. It is really detailed! I am totally happy with most of the questions but they ask if I have kids, I do. I know that puts people off. My last two girlfriends said that if they'd known I had kids before they actually knew me they would have automatically just been like has kids no. I told them by the end of the first date, but not before they met me. Both said that they as lesbian in their 40's who never had kids in their lives would have made assumptions about women with kids and so automatically said no if they'd known I had them in advance. The fact I had kids once we were dating was definitely not a problem in one girlfriends case. So...I don't want to let people know I have kids upfront but don't want to lie obviously either. So that's my problem with POF. There is a massive shortage of people where I live and so I guess I am keen to make sure people will match with me or talk to me before just writing me off.

TheSeaAndMe · 13/02/2019 08:58

I have never heard of badoo!

wishywashy6 · 13/02/2019 09:06

@TheSeaAndMe I met my bf on badoo Grin it's full of absolute nutters but there are some decent people on there too!

I think on the kids front, if you're looking for a relationship it's best to state it from the start.

Auba14 · 13/02/2019 09:10

TheSeaAndMe it might be wise to speak to @BeyondShattered on this as she was in a similar situation with children too. I'm sure she would have some great advice on where to start and where to introduce it.

I'm gay too, but no children and neither does my new girlfriend. We had talked for quite a while and we stopped when she started dating a girl - and this girl had a kid. She quickly realised it wasn't for her and didn't want to be a step-mum but wanted to try it first before she could rule it out which I don't blame her. So I wouldn't get attached to people too quickly as some just want to test the waters first, personally children is a big no for me but there will be other single Mum's and people who don't mind it.

Bluezoo123 · 13/02/2019 09:27

A quick question-has anyone on the thread ever attended a speed dating event?I’m considering going to one with my friend.

TheSeaAndMe · 13/02/2019 09:36

Hmm...just wrote a reply and it disappeared!

Yes important not to get attached too soon! The last woman I went out with would have said no to kids. But my previous gf would have said no also, then we met and ended up together for 9 months, she loved it, made her spare room into their room, we all went on camping trips and day trips together. So she would have said no if she'd known in advance but turned out brilliantly on that front. Which is why I suppose I would rather not say I have kids on my profile and instead tell them on the first date. Maybe I should do that on tinder as before but say I have kids on pof.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 13/02/2019 09:57

Well well well am I change Mr mans name to Mr Big?
Date went well and I decided to take him home. Kicked him out this morn so I could go pick up my kids Grin

It’s strange because if u was looking for a relationship he wouldn’t be right for me but as a FWB this could work.

After all the texting and talking I was worried I was overinvesting and would find myself wanting more but having met him I know I won’t

All in all feeling v pleased with myself!

WotcherHarry · 13/02/2019 10:07

Hi all, have been lurking again :) I do enjoy reading everyone’s updates!

I had a couple of dates at the start of last month with someone that I liked, but that’s all done now. We’ve tried to navigate it to a friendship level - I don’t want to say too much about it. He’s a nice guy and fairly fresh out of his marriage which made me a wary initially. He is sort of dating someone else, sort of not, and I don’t really want to confuse him or myself any more so am just carrying on dating. We’ve had a couple of hiccups in establishing good boundaries but I think we will be able to be good friends going forward.

So, I had a date on Sunday which was good in that he was funny and made me laugh, but he’s said a couple of things that have made me just kind of mentally shake my head. It was kind of a wildcard date - I went out with him as he was so funny, and I thought he was attractive - but I’m not sure about seeing him again.

I have a date tonight with someone that I went to school with 😁 we were just chatting on Facebook and it’s kind of gone from there. It’ll be interesting, I haven’t seen him in the flesh for many years.

unique1986 · 13/02/2019 10:08

Are Mummy's boys red flags?
( 36 not much desire to leave family home and Mum now she is alone)
Previous Gf tried but with no luck or just wrong girl..

Bluezoo123 · 13/02/2019 10:30

Anyone else get sick of swiping and rarely swipe right?there’s just not many men out there I’m attracted to lol!

shitwithsugaron · 13/02/2019 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unique1986 · 13/02/2019 10:35

CocoKoko123
Did you end things with no sex guy? or am I thinking of someone else

And yeh don't you just think sometimes you could easily be single for the next 3 years!!!!!!!!
Its the men online that are ruining our lives lol

DaffoDeffo · 13/02/2019 10:37

hello all! good to see some old names on here

well having had an online dating break since November, I think I'm almost ready to go back on it again. Planning to sign up this weekend - back on bumble. My profile has been invisible and I had a quick look and all my matches are still there! I can't scroll through profiles till I unhide myself so I'm going to get my profile sorted out this weekend then launch back on it....

I might go back on tinder too as I got a lot more matches on there than bumble (I've been told where I live there are masses of women on bumble and not that many men which probably explains it - I had a lot more luck where I work).

will ponder this weekend. Hope you are all having luck. Tomorrow will be the 8th Valentines Day in a row I have spent on my own (but I only started dating last year for the first time!).

unique1986 · 13/02/2019 10:40

@shit
earning over 20k in your 30s its just about do able. Yes you can not save, but you cant do both..
Sometimes you get the men saying I don't need to, but after a certain age its not about need. .
Or it would be too lonely to live alone, erm you have to just deal with it.

DaffoDeffo · 13/02/2019 10:40

also has anyone ever tried one of those dating agencies? I know they cost money but I'm half tempted to have a look at them. I've got a fairly high powered, well paid job and a lot of men online seem really put off by strong women! (I don't care what job my other half has, I'm not money driven but I do like a man with intellect and ambition!).