Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@StealthNinjaMum yeah usually guys aren't shy about messaging. Mind you, you have nothing to lose if any of the 13 take your fancy and you want to message them.
In my experience, I've never gotten anywhere when I've messaged first. Most of those guys reply a couple of times then just disappear.
SO many time-wasters on there.

I think that most of them must have had very hard & traumatic lives if they're the age that they say they are!

This is what I have found myoldbrain. I feel like I have found my people. I think I am usually fairly non-judgemental but I put foundation on for my photo and I am faced with a sea of guys with stubble and I can't tell if it's intentional or not. I quite like a man with stubble but when he has no shirt on (and is laying on a pillow - yuk) or is in a dark room or wearing a hat or outdoors in a big puffy coat I can't see what I'm looking at. Why would they not want to look their best? Or sunglasses? I'm far more bothered that they're trying to hide something like being overweight - which I don't care about.

Feeling really bad that I've been mean about them.

Thanks crappyday I think I'll wait til I've put dc to bed and maybe message a couple just for the experience of being ghosted!

@StealthNinjaMum ha well at least you are approaching it in a realistic way. Its so easy to let it affect your self esteem. I started to do that to me again so I've come off them again. I might dabble again in a few months but would really prefer not to.
I sometimes wonder if the really decent single guys just wouldn't use OLD. Anytime I;ve mentioned using OLD to decent blokes I know (who are married), they look horrified at the thought. Mind you, easy in their position!

Thanks @crappyday2018 I've been lurking on this thread for ages and have seen how awful some of these guys are - apart from the men on this thread who all seem very respectful. Actually I think the 'relationships' board as a whole isn't a great place to 'hang out' if you want to have a positive view of men.

@StealthNinjaMum - the thing is we all have different experiences. There are loads of ladies on here with loads of 'irons' and seem to do really well. I literally had 1 date with a guy who was lovely but just not for me. I couldn't seem to get to the date stage with anyone.
I think you just have to find out for yourself. It will also depend on the area you live in too. I live in a very small northern city which doesn't help.

I instantly reject the ones who can't spell or 'lol' a lot.

So do I @ComedyBoobs

Absolutely, life especially the ones who say - I'm not a cereal killer LOL

Some of the highlights of my dates from the last 6mths.

• claimed to be taller than me but was about 2inches shorter.
• recited the train timetable for trains to London
• told me he hadn't bothered putting his false teeth in so I could see what he looked like without
• one I didn't recognise at all because his photos were so out of date.
• one who told me all the things he'd thought about doing but never done. Normal stuff like having a holiday or a trip somewhere interesting.
• one who said he did nothing other than work or watch TV but that would change when he met a woman who could take him out.

These were all aged about 49 to 53. And I had weeding a lot out before I even got as far as discussing a date.

Dear lord myoldbrain how could you resist?

I have MrIWantTo MeetYouInALayBy..... Its a 'no' from me.
And an angry one - 'why no photos? You're fucking me about'. Nice chap That was after a 2 minute convo.

What age gap and distance do you have your settings?

I'm early 40 but have it set at 38-45. Should I go further out?

Also at 50mile radius

I had Mr IWantToWearYourClothes and Mr IWantToBeYourGardeningSlaveButNotSleepWithYou. Also Mr IWantToPickYourProfessionalBrainsAboutABusinessIssueImHaving. Plus several Mr IAmTragicallyHopelessPleaseSaveMe's

I'm 48. Age range is 38-50
But I'm on the Fab site, so it might be different for others.

I swipe left on all the very good looking men. I’m not very good looking so wouldn’t expect them to be interested in me.

My last iron wasn’t particularly good looking, was short and had a big beard. But I still fell for him and he still hurt me!

Gone back on the apps mainly for distraction and WA the iron I finished with for Mr S. but really feeling sad and let down and wondering why even choosing an apparently nice guy ends in tears (and always mine).

@ComedyBoobs I think I might try Fab I need some fun in my life 😂

@Notcoolmum I'm in a similar boat, I'm pushing myself to keep going with online dating to try get past the tears I cried for my ex

I don't think it matters really if they are good looking or not, some men are just not good for our souls.

So Mr Maths the accountant has found a nice country pub at a convenient halfway point for Thursday's date .
The problem is it all seems a bit too good to be true - I've only been old a few days and expected not to have much luck !! if he's anything like his profile pics he's more than acceptable in the looks dept,has a good job and his messages really make me laugh . This is my first date in 18 years and I am as nervous as he'll....

Hell

I’m finding hard not seeing Mr SA this week, I think it’s partly because I’m insecure and worried he will find someone better and partly because I really want more sex with him 🤣. He sent me a few naughty messages earlier before he had to go to work. I feel guilty for going back on POF, worried he will see me on there and think I’m not interested in him, I am but I’m sat at home alone and bored so find myself looking on POF and Tinder, also I’m worried if I only have one iron I will over invest. I have had 4 messages on POF today, all from people who are looking for sex and one that lives too far away.

I’m size 10/12 and always paranoid about my weight, I am short so when I’m a size 12 I feel overweight but I have never had anyone complain about my weight or the way I look.

Here’s to us both moving on lifegoes
Do change your name rejected. You are definitely not worthless although I feel that way myself this week so i understand. Hope your date goes as well as it’s been set up to sound.
love I am tiny height wise and have just slimmed down to a 10-12. I don’t think I look too bad. Although I do feel old and haggard these days! 2 days of crying hasn’t helped.

notcool I promise that I will name change as soon as i think of a new one . I'm obviously a newbie to this thread but It seems lovely & supportive
I will definitely do the obligitory loo update on Thursday even if it's to give you all a giggle when mr seemingly perfect turns out to be 20 years older, 6inches shorter and three stone heavier .

Well I'm a size 14 and I just can't shift the
I dunno how to cut the carbs and choc..
5ft 5and a half dislike my big boobs .

*weight