Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Also if they are halfway decent looking they look very full of themselves and don't look very trustworthy!!!

@Amazonfromkent yes i think women do seem to present themselves better so a huge selection for any man looking! I made an online friend at the end of last year and he was pretty average looking but he was inundated with matches. I wondered at the time whether I was too fussy as I was hardly swiping at all.

Would be interesting to get a males perspective if any are still on here, do you feel like you are in a candy shop with all the pretty women on online dating sites?

To be quite honest with myself, my understanding of make beauty is rather weird I don't normally go for looks over personality, but it's impossible to tell online so Im having to go by the looks!!! Also the last man I was hopelessly in love with I didn't find attractive at all to start with but came to think he was the bees knees very quickly.

Male beauty

Difficult to describe what makes you swipe right isn't it, as opposed to left.

Obvs there's a lot of clearly downright unattractive ones. But then I don't particularly like the 'good looking' ones either. I can see they look handsome but that rarely grabs me.

I like the normal /pleasant but interesting looking ones I think. No big mops of hair or long hair, made an effort to add a sentence or two to their profile, not 100%sport mad because I'm the indoor type. And not too young looking. I'm mainly looking at the 39-54 range and they are either pretty boys or look like they are 60 and living in their mums cellar, there's few inbetween

I have a date on Thursday. WTF does a 50 year old wear for drinks in a country pub with a cycling mad accountant? My usual style is skinny jeans but happy to go shopping .

I’m looking at the 30-40 range and ever there barely swipe right - not many attractive and then some that are attractive just look like they are smarmy.taking a break from it anyway as 🤞 have a fwb (me fab has been in touch yesterday) I can call on if the need arises and I want to try and pluck up the courage to talk to the guy at work-any ideas on how to approach him?weird I can be so brave and dtd with a relative stranger but then blush like mad when this guy tries to speak to me.
Also has anyone been watching Dorty John series?a friend has suggested I watch it-think she worries about the dangers of me OLD.

@coco, watched Dirty John Saturday. I highly recommend!!!

I think the old adage is right - especially in the over 50s bracket, that all the good ones are taken and the available ones are single for a reason!!!

I watched dirty John 👀😱

I've always been attracted to personality. So OLD is hard for me as I can't decide if I like them at all.

My ex I went for looks straight away, but he wasn't from OLD. He turned out to be an utter narcissist. So I'm not going back for looks 😂

Rejected- I’d just go jeans and nice top. Is he cycling there?? Current iron is mad about cycling but still dresses nice when not out on bike.
I’m trying hard not to overinvest but him being away for a week has really wobbled me about not feeling secure. So bizarre after being married for what feels like whole life. Dating is not always fun!

@life, my experience with good looking men is similar. They think they can have any woman they want and are largely narcissistic. God, I love generalising don't I??

@shitwithsugaron of course it's ok! I'm still lurking on here and I've been on the smitten bench for 7 months now 🥰
Yes to soft beards too... never been a beard lover until now!

@Amazonfromkent I have to agree, I have Male friends who are good looking and I tell them all the time, they treat women like shite because they think they can have anyone.

Yes to beards from me too. My iron has one and it's sexy to me.

I have a 9 month old who babysat by friends/family when I go out on dates with my iron...i know further up thread there was a discussion about introducing irons to older kids but what are people's thoughts on babies. So for example would it be acceptable for my iron to come round after i have put the baby to bed? Must add that on valentine's day he wrote in his card about wanting to have a positive influence on both our lives, although he has yet not asked to meet baby or anything like that. However I have a feeling if i asked him to, he would, but jsut not sure when and how appropriate it is? (we are exclusive)

I have met several not so good looking men who seem to think they can have what ever women they like too. What one person finds atractive others may not, I don’t find muscular gym bunnies atractive, I go to the gym most days but am not attracted to any of them men I see doing weights every day, I like quirky looking men, I like a soft beard (Mr SA has a beard and I have told him to never shave it off), I don’t like really skinny guys and I don’t like really overweight guys, I prefer average. Not all good looking guys are ass holes, yes some of them are pretty vein and entitled but I have met some that don’t even realise they are atractive.

@Lovemusic33 oh I agree, I think my past experience has just put me off a certain type of man.

I'm hugely into quirky types. My favourite actors are Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Walken, Daniel Defoe, etc etc. People with interesting faces. Men who are too good looking or muscular make me wary for some reason!!!

Good looking people don't have to try hard to get dates. I think it makes them less banterous. Less likely to make an effort. Selfish in bed. I also like to generalise haha.

Yeah I prefer off the wall types. Actually what gets me super hot under the collar is a man with fast wit.

@supercali77 I'm with you on that, I love a man with quick wit. Good humours conversations get me every time.

I only joined POF a few days ago and this thread yesterday. I am in the over 50 bracket but have got 2 main irons first one mr fit seemed really positive and we really seemed to click but then he started to question how many others i was messaging so have cooled it dye to the red flags .iron two is mr maths who's messages really make me lol but he lives two hours away any way we are meeting half way for drinks on Thursday. My stomach is doing somersaults. Watch this space.
I do feel a little sad that I'm excited about what the future may hold as it means I've started to move on from my ex..

I have found that a lot of men on OLD have an inflated sense of their own attractiveness, and expect women to be grateful that they have contacted them. There are some shockers in my age group (I am looking at 50+) who look older than my Dad and have dreadful photos. I am on POF and Tinder and so far have only met men from POF. I don't generally go for conventionally handsome men but I do like men who are well groomed and well turned out. I don't go for the scruffy look. One of my irons (Mr Much Younger) has a beard and it is okay as it suits him, but I would prefer it if he trimmed it a bit! And its not that long.

I am seeing Mr Much Younger again on Thursday, and Mr Tennis has just confirmed for tonight. I am due to meet someone from Fab on Friday but I am beginning to have second thoughts.

rejected good luck for your date on Thursday, and please change your username, as I am sure that you are lovely and deserve to be very happy.

@Amazonfromkent so what does that say about all the single over 50 women? Are they single for a reason too?
I know what you mean but I hope this isn't true. There have to be some lovely guys who either just fell out of love with their partner/wife, wife cheated on them or 100 other reasons where they weren't necessarily to blame.