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Original poster

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
crackofdoom · 15/02/2019 22:49

What's wrong with him coco?

Bluezoo123 · 15/02/2019 22:52

It’s a long story and I’ve pm’d enough people on the thread with my tales of self pity.leta just say I would have been happy with a fwb to tide me over until meeting mr right if such a thing exists and instead I have a bf with no benefits...

crackofdoom · 15/02/2019 22:55

If you're not having fun, what is the bloody point?! I don't think any of us on this thread neeeeed a man (or woman) - we're just after someone to make our lives that bit nicer.

Mulie · 15/02/2019 23:19

I’m sorry so many of you are getting messed about. It’s the worst part of OLD.

Do you think that you can ever put a “relationship” into reverse?

My guy has so much going on. We are exclusive and been seeing each other 2-3 times a week for the past 5 weeks.
I think we may have become exclusive too soon but I can’t dtd with more than one man at a time. He says he only talks to one woman at a time from the start so after dtd on the second date we became exclusive pretty quickly.

The thing is that he had a close family bereavement within days of us starting to see each other, he is currently training for a major event and he works odd hours. So when we do see each other he is grieving, stressed and exhausted, dates have become evenings, mainly at his as I have grown up dc in the house. It’s an hours drive so I’m not fussed about going out by the time I get there. I’m just not sure that I’m getting to know the real him and although the sex is amazing and I do love waking up with him, I feel like I’m sort of missing out on the fun bits of dating.

I don’t drink and he doesn’t at the moment due to his training diet. I’m concerned that when the event is over and he goes back to his old self, I won’t know him at all. We have never spent a day together. It has always been late evening until the next morning, except our first date which was a lunchtime meet.

Wishing I was still dating others but I don’t suppose I can really suggest that we go back a step? Why is it never straightforward?

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 00:05

Sorry, not anyones thread.

Just got home from Mr BE. Such a disappintment. Im gutted.

OP posts:
TheSeaAndMe · 16/02/2019 00:30

What happened @toooldforthis?

lifegoes · 16/02/2019 01:08

What happened @TooOld you ok?

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 03:21

Such a nice guy. I'm gutted.

OP posts:
Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 04:59

mulie that’s exactky what i need to do with mine - I actually want to downgrade us to friends as it’s just beyond a joke now. Could have slept here all weekend but after another disappointing evening ans restless night I’m just going to go home this morning.got a night out tonight with friends and child free for next few days so going to get back on the apps I think.
tooold what happened?sending hugs x

ccgirr · 16/02/2019 06:40

Mulie I think I miss the fun bits too. Bf has kids every weekend so is always family around, Only break is holidays when mine are away in the week. Go though stages of wanting to be wined and dined but wonder if this is just real life at this age. Guess we’ll have time when kids older

ccgirr · 16/02/2019 06:41

Tooold- dying for update!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/02/2019 07:42

TooOld are you okay? Sending hugs.

Coco your situation doesn't sound good. Are you going to end it?

Mulie I had a relationship a bit like that (weekday evenings) but we did try to make.an effort to go to the cinema etc. But I did want just to have a lazy Sunday morning in bed, go out for breakfast, mooch around the shops and stuff ..

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 16/02/2019 07:58

Hope you are ok @tooold ?

@coco and @ mulie doesn’t sound much fun. Maybe time to call it a day?

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 16/02/2019 08:02

TooOld hope you're ok

Coco I can't remember if you said but have you spoken to him about it? Sounds like you need to end it if it's not making you happy.

Mulie that doesn't sound like a lot of fun for you. You drive to him and support him with everything he has going on in his life. He gets great sex. Sounds more like FWB than a relationship. At 5 weeks you should be enjoying each others company, doing different things together.

shitwithsugaron · 16/02/2019 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 08:11

I had a dream this morning that he learnt over and said something about my boobs being disappointing,then I dreamt that he woke me up and we dtd,then I dreamt that he admitted he was impotent!then I woke up and realised none of those things had happened!had a really bad night’s sleep and think I’m just going to go home.tooold please update us when you can-hope you’re ok xx

Lovemusic33 · 16/02/2019 09:10

TooOld hope your ok?

My ex decided to try and ruin my birthday by sending me a email, I had an injunction out against him for sexual assault and harassement but the injunction was only for a year (this was 2 years ago), he sent me a message containing a photo of my dd’s And implied he was cleaning up his laptop and found some photos. I haven’t replied but I’m worried that he has photos of my dd’s. I know he’s looking for a reaction so I won’t reply but it kind of did mess with my head.

Mr SA text me several times yesterday asking if I was having a good day. I don’t think he realises I won’t be able to see him all week as I have the dd’s on half term, I hope he doesn’t get funny with me for not being able to see him.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/02/2019 09:20

Coco it's not your fault!! Whatever you think your dreams mean!

Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 09:25

bat I’m not sure what my dream meant lol!i know it’s not me.perhaps just that is at the stage now that I need a conclusion...who knows.i think he’s put out that I’ve said I’m going home rather than sticking around for the day but I don’t see the point in eating my time.i’m not having fun with this anymore.

shitwithsugaron · 16/02/2019 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shitwithsugaron · 16/02/2019 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluezoo123 · 16/02/2019 10:22

love ignore your ex - easier said than done I know.

tooold where are you?please update us soon xx

Mulie · 16/02/2019 11:31

love sorry your ex is being a twunt. Well done for not reacting, I’m not sure I could be so measured.

Coco the sex with my guy is at least very satisfying. I don’t think I could keep seeing him if it wasn’t.

I do have a really good connection with my man, it’s just that I’m not sure it’s real. He is grieving and training hard. In a couple of months when he is in a better place and he is no longer on such a strict regime he may well be someone I don’t recognise.
He stimulates me mentally, I love our conversations and sexually things are good. But I hate drunks and I know he likes a drink in normal circumstances, he has made a few comments about being a pita when he’s had a drink but I’m not going to know what that looks like for weeks and will I be in too deep?
He doesn’t expect me to support him as such. It’s simply a case of everything being on hold for the next few weeks and I’m missing the good bits, going out, seeing him interact with others and having fun outside of the bedroom. Feels more like FWB.

Sorry that is really long and rambling [embarrassed]

too old sorry your date was disappointing.

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 16/02/2019 11:47

I've totally blown it. So, I drank too much cos I was so nervous. We dtd and it was so disappointing. I think I built it up so much in my mind that when it came down to it, he just didn't live up to my expectations. I'm ashamed to say that I told him so. He was obviously gutted.
He drove me home. However, we are exchanging messaging this morning. I've apologised and said he deserves better. I'm not sure how I want this to go. Whether a second chance or to just leave it.

OP posts:
SortingItOut · 16/02/2019 11:55

TooOld
Do you think the disappointment was linked to the fact you had quite a bit too drink and you'd built it up too much and if you were sober and more casual it would have been good?

Sometimes first sex is disappointing but that could be nerves.

It may have been harsh to tell him he was disappointing but was that the drink talking because you come across as a lovely woman and I cant imagine you saying that when you were sober.

Was this part -sabotage on your behalf as he has been too nice to you and a real gentleman and you cant quite believe it?

Personally I think he deserves a second chance with no expectation of sex and to just go with the flow and hopefully you'll be more relaxed.

Have some Flowers