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Original poster

Dating Thread 147 - Double Dating Anyone?

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 11/02/2019 19:31

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
BatshitCrazyWoman · 13/02/2019 21:55

The thread moves fast Comedy I don't think it's deliberate.

Finding out your number and calling it is very odd 😕

Bluezoo123 · 13/02/2019 22:02

Welcome comedy sure it’s nothing personal-why so far not so good with fab?what’s the guy whatsapping you about all day?i’d say unless you’re getting any other red flags then worth a coffee meet for sure.I had a look at it myself but freaked myself out so deleted.i am quite a sexual person so could easily be drawn in to stuff I wouldn’t want to - would rather wait for certain things after I’ve met someone. plus still waiting to sort out one way or the other what’s happening with my iron.

ComedyBoobs · 13/02/2019 22:06

Thank you batshit
I'm not an easy person to get on with (who knew)
But I do know what I want.
I don't twist myself in & out & upside down trying to work out what I want. I know what I want. & no, I'm not very likeable for that.
This is an anonymous forum. I can tell you about my experiences of online dating.

Yes, I used to blog about it. Ask me anything.

lifegoes · 13/02/2019 22:10

@ComedyBoobs I don't think there's anything wrong in knowing exactly what you want. I think as we get older we all learn exactly what we don't want

ComedyBoobs · 13/02/2019 22:20

Hello coco - no red flags. Seems like a lovely guy. I'm just not into messaging all day throughout the day.

Auba14 · 13/02/2019 22:28

ComedyBoobs You need to tell him that then and be honest, you don't want him thinking that you enjoy the messaging - it may well be he feels the same and is doing it to impress you and be on your wavelength.

If he's agreed to meet for coffee, surely it's a moot point as you can meet him and check suitability first before anything else.

ComedyBoobs · 13/02/2019 22:35

Thanks all, apologies for being a dick earlier x

WarIsPeace · 13/02/2019 22:46

I have a repeat date with Mr Substitute for the weekend. Looks like my cunning plan is working so far Grin

We've mutually agreed to ignore tomorrow... Plus I'm almost certainly going to be getting mithered by the unhappy ex tomorrow Sad

ComedyBoobs · 13/02/2019 22:47

Well... This is a difficult one.
After blogging about online dating. I don't blog about about it anymore. As entertaining as it was. I'm on the other side as it were.

Bluezoo123 · 13/02/2019 23:05

comedy I’d just message him saying something along the lines of you not being one to message endlessly before meeting as you prefer to meet relatively early on to see if there is any mutual attraction there. X

WarIsPeace · 13/02/2019 23:08

Is your blog still up Comedy Boobs? I'd be interested in reading it. I'm a total newbie really, only started in December but happy with my experiences so far. I'm being pretty cautious in terms of sending my friend details and addresses etc but other than that I'm winging it with you lot

BatshitCrazyWoman · 14/02/2019 06:56

Oh god yes Comedy to meeting up sooner rather than later. Just tell him you'd rather meet than be penpals!

Have sent the thanks but no thanks message to Mr Italian ...

Original poster
TooOldForThis67 · 14/02/2019 07:43

Morning everyone
Comedy - what do you mean on the other side? Soz, probably being thick here!

Last night I got a phone call, 'go to your front door'. So I did and there was a bunch of red roses, chocs and a card! He wanted me to find them in the morning but he saw a couple of lads eyeing them up when he got in his car so thought he'd better tell me. It was totally unexpected and the card was so sweet, simply "I'm so happy we met".
Sorry if you're passing the bucket!!! Grin

OP posts:
WarIsPeace · 14/02/2019 07:49

Oh how nice TooOld!

user1466783975 · 14/02/2019 08:06

He sounds lovely TooOld. Very relationship material :)
Still lurking and thinking I need to rejoin pof as i'm missing out on all the action!

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 14/02/2019 08:41

Ah @tooold that’s so sweet!
I think I posted at a busy time yesterday with feedback from my date and it got missed but would love to know what next steps would be to make him a FWB instead of a ONS.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 14/02/2019 08:42

Ahh that's lovely TooOld

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 14/02/2019 08:45

Also I have another iron. Mr Messiah. Been taking on WA for about a week. He is 10 yrs younger than me and v hot. Named becasuse we both love Life of Brian. We seem to have hit the friend zone. He sends me pics of ducks (actual plastic ducks) and jokes and we share funny tinder stories. Should I ask him on a date? Is that the done thing or just wait and see if he does? Or just accept that it’s just a friendly thing that we make each other laugh. I am so new to this

ceecee32 · 14/02/2019 09:15

Hello everyone. I think I am writing this down just to get my thoughts in order but any input would be great.

I have been divorced and lived on my own for over 20 years. I was left in lots of debt which I have paid off and now have my own house and money in the bank. I used to tell myself that I was happy on my own until I had a short lived relationship last year and that showed me that I really wanted someone special in my life. But I have always been adamant that I wanted someone who had the same things that I have.

I have met a few people from OLD but none have been right in one way or another. Now, to the potential problem - I have been chatting for a few days (not met yet) to someone who contacted me. He seems to be a really nice man who has also been on his own for a few years. So far, so good and I have a really nice feeling about him and its the first time that has happened.

This morning, he has phoned to tell me about his financial problems. He had his own business up to a couple of years ago. He employed over 10 people but the recession hit and he hung onto the business and tried to make it work for too long. He ate up all his savings before he pulled the plug. He now works for a company.
He gave up his house and lives in a rented room above a pub with a view to living as cheap as possibly to pay off all his debts in the next year.

I always told myself that this would be a deal breaker. But I have been there, part of me appreciates that he has told me early enough to pull out, part of me thinks Run Away !!!

But, after having counselling in the last few months I have began to understand that I always look for the negative in any situation. That I expect things not to work and dont give anything a chance.

He says that he doesnt want my money - that anywhere we go we will pay halves which I am happy about. Do I give it a chance or not ?

No idea - am thinking that I might just run with it for now but be very careful.

Auba14 · 14/02/2019 09:19

ceecee32 I think in all honesty I would give him a chance. He's told you early enough to let you have a get out clause with him and he seems the honest sort. The only worry would be that there would be more debt and he's only scratching the surface with what he's telling you.

However if you hold him at his word, he's honest, you get on, and money isn't the be all and end all of life. It's not like he's destitute and you have to pay for everything. IMO he's worth a date.

TheSeaAndMe · 14/02/2019 09:29

Ceecee32 I would also go on a date. He is working and that is the main thing.

Well I have looked at every woman in a 250km radius on badoo 😂😂. There are a handful of lesbians. One already a good friend of mine. There are a few women who are saying they are sexually open minded! I messaged two of them because I liked their profiles and they are both only about 45 mins and 1 hour from me 😊.

Tbh it's not looking great though!

ceecee32 · 14/02/2019 09:32

@TheSea - I think I have looked at every man in a 20 mile radius from me - I know the feeling.

@Auba - My gut feeling is to give it a try and see how we get on. BUT that I will have to be very careful not to be drawn in to paying more than my fare share.

Lovemusic33 · 14/02/2019 09:43

Happy valintines day people 😁 (I need to catch up on the thread, it moves too quickly). I’m sat at home waiting for all the valintines cards to come through my door...I maybe waiting a while.

I kind of feel annoyed that Mr SA doesn’t do valintines, he did message me this morning but I’m now beginning to think he now sees us as a FWB things since DTD, why are men so confusing? Or maybe I’m just getting the wrong idea from his texts.

Anyway, I shall be getting a card from my old friend (Mr Trans), we decided we would send each other a card as neither of us were expecting to get one from anyone else.

Auba14 · 14/02/2019 10:01

ceecee32 You can tell by your post you're looking for the negative in the situation. For example your sentence 'BUT that I will have to be very careful not to be drawn in to paying more than my fare share.' He's never given you any indication that he would insist you pay more - this is more down to your mindset on people who are in debt rather than who he actually is as a person.

If I'm speaking out of turn I apologise but reading your post it's like you want this date to fail so you can be proved right on your all men who are in debt I should run for the hills from stance. Unless you're going to go into this date with a completely open mind about the guy and forget about the fact he has debt and be prepared to look past that (which at the moment it doesn't sound like you are), then I would leave the guy alone and let him have a chance with someone who isn't going to instantly judge based on financial position. And that isn't a bad thing, we all have our dealbreakers - mine is smoking and tattoos, but it just so happens debt is yours.

ceecee32 · 14/02/2019 10:20

@Auba - you are so right to point it out.

Its something that counselling has made be aware of and I fall into the trap of expecting things not to work out.

But I am hopeful as he has been honest from the beginning