My husband slept with someone else

[Stargazer456]

Hello everyone

I am new here and this is my first post.

So my husband and I have been married 14 years and we have children. Put life has always been a bit of a well.... a perfect bubble I guess... we met at school and have been together forever I trusted him unconditionally. However 6 months ago he had what I can only describe as a breakdown of some sort and he just left out of the blue.
To cut a long story short whilst he was ‘away’ he met someone and they slept together, 4 times ... twice successfully and twice unsuccessfully because he said he couldn’t.
He asked to come back to me a month or so ago and I agreed but at the time didn’t know this had happened. He told me he’d met someone but was just a friend and nothing more and I believed him he swore I was the only one for him. Fast forward to last week and I find receipts for meals out etc and a holiday quote for 2!
He has admitted they were together and slept together. He says he’s sorry and made a stupid mistake and he is doing all he can for me but the pain is unbearable....
sorry for long post but I just feel so betrayed and broken 😢😢

Your all so right, I wish I’d never taken him back in the first place.
I feel such a fool xx

I just wish it was as easy as ripping a plaster off, I still feel so connected to him. 😢
My counsellor says he is emotionally and mentally abusive .... so hard to accept that but I can see aspects of it now. Am trying to move forward by some days are so so hard x

Yeah I wouldn’t make it easy either
Not at all . As if you do there is a major risk he will Minimise and blame his ‘breakdown’

I won’t go all LTB on you , but be very very very wary and take your sweet time and don’t do anything you don’t want to

You're not a fool. You gave him a chance and he threw it back in your face.It's him who has the problem not you

Please don't let him get away with it again, he's treated you terribly.

My family tell me he loves me and I need to move forward and put the past behind me

Keep getting counselling so you can develop techniques to bat that shit away

Thank you so much for all
Still being here ❤️ I don’t know what to do next but I do know I will not be taking him back again, that I am sure of. He is contacting friends and chatting up numerous women .... and even told a
Mutual friend he needs ‘a dam gd women to keep him occupied” ! 😳😢 i really don’t know this man anymore

You need this individual out of your life.
Be kind to yourself in the long term.

You’ve finally set off in the right direction. It won’t be easy, you’ll have ups and downs, but if you don’t waiver and let him back, in the future you’ll be so glad you did. Keep seeing the counsellor and taking baby steps. New year new start.

(did as in stayed on track and away from him)

Never have him back again. What a weasel. You deserve better than this

I'm glad you see him for what he is OP.

Thank you so much. I have moments where I want him back so much it hurts.
The hardest thing is coming to terms with this person who I thought I knew so well. How can or does someone change so much 😔

Having a 'breakdown' is a nonsensical argument and excuse for cheating. Having mental health issues does not make you an adulterer. Being a liar and a cheat does. Nothing he ever does will heal this pain and personally I'd end it because I would never have emotional peace.

You need to go completely non contact. Tell friends and family you don’t want to hear what he’s up to. Block him on social media. Speak through solicitors. Anything else is going to be torture for you.

You do know who he is you just chose to ignore it. He has left, leave him gone and find some inner strength and keep him gone.

Please please do not allow any moments of weakness you may have to let him back in, not even for sex! This guy is an utter disgrace and needs to stay the fuck out of your life now.

Build yourself up and move on. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. In every reply on this thread you thank everyone for replying, you also mentioned thanking him daily for messaging you- say this to yourself every day for the next week, month or even year until it goes in.. *

I deserve better, I will overcome this. I am strong and I WILL be happy again! *

Maybe if you tell your family about him leaving again and him already chatting up other women, they will support you in not taking him back again.

Please stay strong and don't allow him back into your life. He doesn't deserve you.

Thank you I’m trying. Just found out he’s meeting another women tomorrow
How can men do this

Really sorry to hear this. For me, adultery...no excuses. He needs to go. You are much stronger and better than him. He doesn't deserve you.

Time to get practical, get financial information, copy all important documents. Get an appointment with a lawyer.
Write a list of questions for lawyer.
Work out a budget on finances without him.
Look at what financial help you can get.
Good luck

christ.. not one to let the moss gather.. is he ?!

Well at least it makes it easier for you to stay focused on leaving, surely.

Thank you, have got an appointment with a lawyer next week. Just can’t believe this is my life now. But your right need to get focused and organised 😘

Good luck 💐

Could you accidentally trap his testicles in a vice?