Starting over after 25 years - Part Trois

[Lily007]

Time to start a new thread.

I’m hoping all you ‘regulars’ will continue the journey with me 😊

Yes keep all your ' knowledge ' on the back burner for now 😉

I rather envy you in a way. Married nearly 30 years. I think if I was in as strong a financial position as you , I would have had so many more options.
As it is , things are OK , but when I am wavering , it would nice to not have to consider how I would manage money wise.
So , keep going, get what you are entitled to and best of luck for your future.

Good luck Lily... I’m sure you’ll be fine and ‘swan like’ calm and serene on the outside, and no doubt going crazy inside

I’m glad your solicitor friend is coming over this weekend so you’ll know what you want from the outcome. I’d have a few sentences, not nasty, but maybe scathing, ready should he try and pull the sympathy card.
Are him and the OW still together?

Again, thanks everyone for the encouragement 😊

@WhoKnewBeefStew. Yes he’s still with her 🙄. I wouldn’t mind betting she won’t know he’s coming to the house on Monday. I’ve heard she keeps him on a very short leash in that he has to check in regularly throughput the day. Ah well that’s what you get when you’re partner is a cheat 🙈.

I know what I want and I’m not going to allow him to soft soap me. If he tries to play the sympathy card I won’t hesitate to point out this whole sorry mess is down to him.

If we can’t agree a settlement we go to court!

@Lily007 hope everything goes ok today

Good luck Lily. Hopefully all is well. 🌷

Hope today went well for you @Lily007.

Wishing you luck and strength with your discussions with KH @Lily007. Just remember this deal could be the difference between a comfortable or less comfortable future for you. Put yourself first and have an answer ready for anything he might throw at you. You can do this!!

'I am the innocent party here and I should not suffer because you couldn't honour our marriage vows. I have remained loyal for 25 years and I would hope that you'll have enough integrity to at least honour your financial commitment to me, especially when there is such disparity in our future earning potential'. On repeat. And you're right, don't allow nosey neighbour over the threshold.

Good luck Lily!

Sorry Lily, just realised you'll have already spoken to him!!

Hope all is well.

Hope all is well, Lily.

Hi everyone

Well, he came to the house on Monday. I took more than 3 hours doing my hair, make up etc., he was only here for half an hour 🙈

I told him what I wanted and and he more or less agreed to my terms subject to his solicitor’s advice. I got a letter from his solicitor yesterday confirming the agreement. Happy days 😊

He tried to engage me in conversation a couple of times but I closed him down. I want him to know I will not be his friend. When we were together he would run everything by me, problems at work etc., and I got the impression he wanted my advice/views on something that’s going on at work now. I’m sure he thinks because I’m still close to my first husband, maybe we could have a similar relationship. Not a chance!

I was incredibly calm and polite but I made it clear he could either accept my offer or we’d go the court route.

I’m now getting the house ready for sale. Onward and upward 😊

Great news Lily, I have been following this thread from the start and you have been extraordinary! I'm so happy you finally have peace of mind in the financial sense to enable you to move on.

All the best

Well done Lily for keeping your dignity in dealing with KH and holding out for what you want

Well done Lily , you are one strong woman. Totally admire you

Fantastic, glad you got what you want. Onwards and upwards

Welcome done Lilly 💐

Excellent news

Brilliant Lily, good news at last. How on earth could he think you’d want a relationship 😱 he really is a KH 🌷

You nailed it Lily! Well done, you've been amazing throughout what must've been one of the hardest years of your life. Hats off to you, you deserve a happy future and I think you'll get that in time, once the dust has settled in your new home.

And I think KH will get what he deserves too!

Karma

Thanks everyone 😘

@Tootstastic I know I shouldn’t really care but I have to confess I hope he ends up miserable and alone.

I can’t wait to sell the house and get something that’s just mine.

Well done Lily I’m so pleased for you...

I also think kh will get what he deserves. Karma will catch up with him eventually, it always does

It's 27 years for me, I'm bouncing between trying to persuade him to reconsider and thinking at least I'm young enough to start over (in fact I'm most angry he waited until I'm probably too old to have more kids which cuts off so many potential partners). I'm holding out for him signing the house over to me but he'll be here for a year or so he thinks (I can't afford to be here alone really and he's a high earner, me minimum wage). Nice to hear I'm not alone

Yey good for you lily! Boss women you are my hero!

Well done.
When does the house go on the market?

I don't bloody blame you Lily after what he's put you through. You'll go from strength to strength now, I just don't see that for him. He's someone who's only happy when his ego's being fed and so the older he gets, the more miserable he'll become.

It's your turn to shine now Lily! 🌟

Ah Lily, thank you for sharing your good news. Your posts show you getting stronger and stronger and less painful emotions when it comes to KH.