Starting over after 25 years - Part Trois

[Lily007]

Time to start a new thread.

I’m hoping all you ‘regulars’ will continue the journey with me 😊

Worrynot1 And your DC sleeping on the street presumably? No idea why you posted here.

I think worrynot is rather bitterand on the wrong thread.

@Worrynot1 eh?

@Worrynot1 you sound like a real gent 💩

How you doing @Lily007?

Hi @WhoKnewBeefStew.

I received a letter fro KH’s new solicitor stating he feels the original agreement is generous and is not prepared to renegotiate following disclosure of the “forgotten” pension.

My solicitor friend drafted me a reply which states unless I receive an enhanced offer I’ll have no option but to set aside the Heads of Agreement based upon his non disclosure and will proceed to trial. This will necessitate Form E disclosure and KH will have to include OW’s income/expenditure details because they’re cohabiting. I sent the response over a week ago but haven’t had a response as yet.

If we do go the Form E route, up to date bank statements will need to be exchanged which will be interesting as KH and OW are currently abroad on holiday again (their last holiday was end of May). OW only works 3 days per week and apparently doesn’t earn very much so I’ve no doubt he’s funding their lifestyle. I, on the other hand, haven’t had a holiday since before left because I can’t afford it.

It’s getting me down now because I can’t sell the house and buy something of my own until the finances are agreed ☹️

What an absolute prick he is. Did you give his lawyer a must hear back by date? If not I would, and pain as it is stick to it. He is clearly content to string you along, make agreements, make new disclosures, change lawyers etc. While your life is on hold.

You have been too generous towards him imo ( not talking about finances) and he is continuing to take advantage I expect. Get tough, and let him see you mean it.

And do even think in terms of " we" in relation to the settlement. Train yourself not to.

Hey Lily. You do what you have to, if that’s the route he wants to go down and expose OW’s financial situation that’s his problem. I’ve had my house on the market for months, it seems nothing is moving at the moment, it’s very slow. I too cannot move on with my life until it sells. It gets me Down too Lily, as I’ve said before we are still living together!! It’s not good at all. I like you cannot wait for it to be over. Try to keep positive, you’ve done brilliantly so far. 🌺

That was don't not do obviously!

Lets hope that when he gets back from holiday (bastard) he finds this on the door mat waiting for him and signs it off pretty quickly ! KOKO

I’ve still had no response from his new solicitor although I had some gut wrenching news last night. KH and OW got engaged last week whist on holiday. Divorce isn’t final yet!!! 😥

Just when. I think he can’t hurt me anymore he does 😞

I’m going to drag these proceedings out for as long as possible now given there’s an interim order that he has to pay the mortgage until the house is sold.

Not in a good place at the moment 😭

Well that just tells you the sort of person he is !
Don't see it as any slight against you, you are above all that.
Even though you at that stage where on paper he is still your husband, you know he hasn't been that for a long time. Nor does he deserve to be, frankly.

Oh Lily, I actually gasped at that news, what the hell!! I’m so sorry, I’m sure that hurt. But as VictoriaBun said, you are above that. Gather the girls and have a few drinks. Try to stay strong, I’m thinking of you. 🌺🌺

@VictoriaBun and @Redland12. I know you’re both right and thank you ☺️

As they say ' The best revenge is a life lived well ! '

As I said before. You are so well rid.

Make sure whatever you decide is to your advantage in the longer term. No point in staying longer albeit he is paying the mortgage if you are having to spend more on bills for example.

What a grade A tosser. Smacks of desperation and pretence .... I feel
For you and your DS

Thanks everyone.

I was so upset last night when I found out and I messaged my DS (he was out last night) but he texted back to say he’d call to mine today.

He’s actually just left after being here four hours and I have to say he’s made me feel so much better 😊

@KOKOtiltomorrow funnily enough my DS’s opinion is exactly the same as yours. He said KH has always been impulsive and doesn’t think things through.

I honestly don’t know why he can still upset me. I don’t want him back but I don’t want him to prosper from his disgraceful behaviour. Does that make sense? I suppose I’m just counting down the time until I feel indifferent 😐

Hey Lily, I’ve just got in from seeing Tom Jones! Absolutely amazing I’m sure he would of cheered you up this afternoon. But, I’m pleased your son helped you feel better. Of course it makes sense you had a lot of history and you can’t turn feelings off just like that!! You will get there.

Sorry to hear that you're upset Lily but good that you've got such a wonderful son who can cheer you up.

It must have been a shock, but you'll get through it. I wonder if KH expects your lovely son to go on the stag or attend any ceremony. I wouldn't put it past him, he seems to have no emotional intelligence at all.
I must say that KH seems to be living in cloud cuckoo land. Perhaps he's trying to justify to himself that his affair was worth it. Frankly I think it'll all end horribly.

for you.

Good that he's engaged. Get it over and done with. He's a grade A twat and you're so lucky to have him gone from your life.

At no point has he considered you in any of this. Throwing 20 odd years of trust away without a backwards glance. Prick of a man.

Your new dawn is rising.

Oh god Lily my stomach just dropped when I read your post. He’s a disgrace!!

I remember finding out when my ex got engaged, even after 5 years it still blindsided me.. I think what got me was I thought he was happy and getting on with life, whilst My life was still affected by his awful behaviour. Turns out he was a complete twat with his fiancé too, and wasn’t happy. I think he did those things to try and prove to the world he ‘was’ happy. They named their child the name I’d picked out for a boy when we were together, and the same with his bloody dog. I put it down to a lack of imagination.

Anyway, I’m glad your son cheered you up. He’ll have a shit stag do with no mates

I think he had no other option.
He has lost everything in the way of family and friends. he knows there is no going back so has "settled" for her. The engagement is an attempt to create some security for himself post divorce.
I don't think he is very happy at all.
Shame

Thanks everyone for continuing to post and read 😊

Still awaiting a response from KH’s solicitor 🙄. He’s an idiot because the longer he drags this out the longer I stay put in the house and until the finances are settled I can’t finalise the divorce.

Hope they haven’t set a date for the wedding 😂