Engagement ring confusion

[Blueflower22]

Hello ladies,

I am wondering what I should do as I am in a scenario where dp can't afford to get me an engagement ring that I actually like. Anything in his price range isn't that nice, I don't really want to say I don't like anything because I don't want to hurt his feelings. So I'm not sure what to do, because at the same time I don't want a ring that I'm not keen on and that I don't like at all, but I don't want to delay the wedding even more because it's already going to take him three months to save up for a ring in his price range. Any advice? Has anyone been in this situation?

Put some of your own money towards it?

What’s his price range and what styles do you like? We’ll find you something!

Vintage?

Years ago when I got engaged to my first husband, his budget was tiny. I paid half towards a ring I liked.

@Blueflower22 how will you afford a wedding together if he can't afford an engagement ring?

I've seen plenty under £250 that are gorgeous and I'd be happy and feel incredibly lucky to be proposed to with.

My partner is waiting to propose until we've got a new house/flat and then he can relax and buy a ring. (We've discussed it and been to look at some rings)

Priorities

Do you really need a ring ?if it’s goig to take him 3 months to save for an engagement ring .... how long is it going to take him(you) to save for the actual wedding ?? I don’t have an engagement ring , didn’t need it and even less if my partner had to save for it... and we had a budget wedding. Might not be your style but ... think that the actual day will take a few more months in saving for it

Could you buy your own ring ? Or at least contribute towards it ?

You really wouldn't be happier with a cheeper ring? It sounds like you just don't want a 'cheep' one. I've seen some Georgous rings for under 100 and I know for a fact my husband paid less than £200.
He picked it out before he proposed I only know because I like to oggle at rings in shop windows and saw it 😳
It's beautiful and I love it even more because he chose it for me it doesn't matter than it isn't big or expensive it's mine and its about more than the cost

Why can't you contribute? I couldn't let my partner struggle to pay out for a ring. 3 months to save up?!

Why don't you wait and get a fancy wedding ring instead? Check out Jewel Heist on insta.

You can get a beautiful ring in silver with a cs that looks exactly like a super expensive engagement ring. Pm me for details in you like as I don't think I can put the jeweller on here. Get matching wedding rings for you and your intended. About £50 all in. No one will know:)

Then wear it til you can afford something else you can always keep it for holidays in case you loose it in the sand / get mugged.

The jeweller I am thinking of is ex Hatton garden and makes them up pre creating the real thing. Sells online too.

Second hand or antique or vintage. Jewellery is a bit like cars - tends to devalue as soon as it leaves the shop. All my most precious (sentiment and value) jewellery is antique.

It's not mandatory to have a ring; I'm confused why it would delay wedding? Have a look at 'vintage' as PP said, if you're really determined but I think a bit silly to obsess over.

Are you sure you're not being ridiculously picky because you're subconsciously looking to delay the wedding due to uncertainty?

Three months wages is a ridiculous amount of money to spend.
I'd be tempted to buy a good quality artificial stone and wear it with pride until you are both rich enough to be a replacement, perhaps for and anniversary.

Can’t you get a ring that like like in the style you want without it being a real diamond and then get the real thing once you can save up?

My husband bought me mine on a 4 year interest free deal, he still had to put a chunk down though. I was going to get a “stunt ring” for going on holiday though basically the same as my real ring but only £50 to save me ruining my real one on the beach, they are very convincing. My friend was proposed to at Glastonbury and her husband didn’t want to be carrying the actual ring around so he did the same, got a cheap stunt ring.

Oh and when my husband did actually propose to me it was dark, I couldn’t even see the ring, I said yes to the proposal not the ring! It was only 5 min later I realised he’d bought me the beautiful ring I didn’t think he could afford. It didn’t actually matter, there could have been nothing in that box!!

I paid for mine, no big deal. I got what I wanted , always loved it. The money was not an issue to either of us.

I'm unfamiliar with the protocol regarding engagement vs wedding ring. Once you get married doesn't the engagement ring just go in a drawer and you wear the wedding ring full time? And the ring is going to lose most of its value the moment you buy it. Getting a nice cheaper ring sounds like a much better idea.

Second hand, definitely.

Not saying that this is your budget (and I'm not selling!) but I have a diamond ring that would cost >£4k to buy new, but I'd be unlikely to get half of that for it, if I were selling it now, even with the appraisal paperwork.

I would say no because you seem to care too much about money and material stuff. Let him marry someone who doesn’t

@Scott72 no in the UK most women wear their engagement ring and their wedding rings together on the same finger.

Honestly though OP, you sound a bit grabby. The are loads of gorgeous vintage or created rings. Even swapping out to a white sapphire can save a fortune.

I had to choose between a bog standard 3k platinum solitaire and a 1920s one-off for 375.
I’ve been wearing the unique and beautiful pre-loved ring for twenty years now. I’ve had twenty years of compliments on it.
So glad I didn’t go for the cookie cutter but ten times as expensive one.

Just don't get a ring. Getting married is much more important.

DH wants to get me an eternity ring for 25 years, we are looking at vintage/pre owned/antique. There are lots of lovely rings at all sorts of prices.
What kind of style do want and what is your budget?

Op, I second a vintage or antique ring. I have a beautiful one that was inexpensive but gorgeously right for me. We took it to a good jewellers and had them resize it and check the settings. If you are anywhere near, Helmswell Cliff antique centre is lovely, and their staff expert and very kind and helpful. This is in Lincolnshire.

I get it OP. For many women, the engagement ring is the one piece of “real” jewellery that they will own. You want something that you will love and be happy to wear forever. My husband proposed with a man-made diamond. I actually wouldn’t have known the difference if he didn’t tell me, and had it been a style I liked I would have kept wearing it. But it was a round shaped solitaire, which (I thought) I had made clear was my least favourite style. Of course the sentiment behind it and the marriage was what was important but I was a bit miffed that he had ignored 2 years of hints about what styles I liked and disliked and I certainly took him up on the offer to buy a real diamond once we’d saved.