Engagement ring confusion

[Blueflower22]

Hello ladies,

I am wondering what I should do as I am in a scenario where dp can't afford to get me an engagement ring that I actually like. Anything in his price range isn't that nice, I don't really want to say I don't like anything because I don't want to hurt his feelings. So I'm not sure what to do, because at the same time I don't want a ring that I'm not keen on and that I don't like at all, but I don't want to delay the wedding even more because it's already going to take him three months to save up for a ring in his price range. Any advice? Has anyone been in this situation?

Are you sure your whole wedding is going to cost £200 including outfits? The fees would be half that.

£1000 is a big budget for some. If you're not happy with that then I agree with the poster who says maybe you don't want to get married at all. Or maybe you just started this thread to show off?

I do understand that £1k diamond solitaire rings look small ("cheap") in comparison to the blingy stuff you see flashed about.

Choices are wait to save up or choose a completely different style of ring.

DH and I spent a lot on my engagement ring (we shared the cost of everything related to our enagagement and wedding) - I never wore rings at all and wasn't keen on wearing one that I didn't really like. I don't wear a wedding band but DH does (one ring definitely enough for me). I do understand wanting to choose and love the ring you hope to wear for the rest of your life, and if you don't want to settle for something you don't love, then don't. Both you and your future DH can save up to get something you choose together and really like. There is absolutely no reason to delay your wedding over this though! That would be very unreasonable.

If matching it to your wedding ring is important, could you look at getting a necklace/bracelet instead of a ring?

My mum paid for her engagement ring. They are still happily married 50+ years later.

OP just chucking some thoughts out there, what would you have done if your OH surprised you with a ring out of the blue, would you refuse it if you didn't like it?

Problem you have here is you've gotten "involved" in choosing one, historically not many women chose their engagement rings, I think it's a modern twist that has sadly taken the surprise away.

I had no idea DH was going to propose to me, and surprised me with a beautiful unique antique ring. Perhaps have a look at antique ones? You tend to get more for your money.

good grief

what on earth has the ring got to do with anything? Also you could easily go off a ring after he's paid a bunch for it. Why don't you contribute or just buy a ring you like.

this isn't what marriage is about, I hope! Don't get a ring if you can't find anything you like now. You can just get simple wedding bands if you want to.

woah my ring cost half of that and its lovely! to be honest I would have been happy with anything, it really is the thought that counts for me.

you seem entirely focused on the wrong thing!

We got engaged with a plastic ring from a cracker. We then took a couple of family rings( granny and great aunt's engagement rings) and had them melted down and made to a ring of our own design. This cost less than half your budget.

We got mine from a pawnbroker, I wanted to go there because I trusted it, small family run. It's a beautiful 1 carat solitaire with diamond shoulders. Very nice. We got it valued, it's worth £2k more than he paid.

A fucking grand that he has to save 3 months for? In 2019? Avarice is not a good look on a woman.

I know someone who had an engagement ring from QVC, that cost under £50. No one knew it was "fake". It was platinum plated with the equivalent of a one carat stone in a very lovely classic design.

OP - you do not have to wear a ring for the rest of your life because that's what suits your fiance right now. My DH knew very well not to get me a surprise ring for that reason.

Get sensible - as I said, either choose a completely different style of ring that you like for £1k or save up together.

if you're wanting a massive solitaire, look at moissanite.

looks like a diamond, bit sparklier, doubt v much anyone would question it (if you're bothered about that!)

for example....

www.very.co.uk/moissanite-18ct-white-gold-50pt-equivalent-moissanite-solitaire-ring/552832097.prd?msclkid=893aeaadb031145827f5b6f5aa14eb4e&gclid=CKXfzqf1oeACFdKQhQodZhoORA&gclsrc=ds#sku=sku15798485?cm_mmc=msn--PLA+-+Generic--[Adgroup]--[searchterm][KeywordID][AdID]&utm_campaign=Generic[Campaign]&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=bing&utm_term=[searchterm]

well under budget, pretty big stone.

I also got a vintage ring - it means that it is an old ring ("second hand"?!?) and you get far more for your money. Mine is a 1900s diamond and was £200 but insurance value of around 3k.

You sound like you have lost perspective a bit.

I agree with those who have said look for different stones that are cheaper than diamond. I think morganite for example is beautiful: www.kisnagems.co.uk/collections/morganite-rings/products/delicate-1-25-carat-cushion-cut-morganite-and-diamond-engagement-ring-in-rose-gold

£1000 is plenty. That's not a cheap ring. Look on Etsy.

I just didnt get one....

I thought you were going to say his budget was £200 or something. £1000 is plenty to find a ring, you just need to look around a bit more and maybe be a bit less of a princess about it.

You have three options

1. Suck it up and find a ring in (his very generous) budget.

1. Put something towards it yourself

1. Wait.

How much do you think he should spend on your ring?

I wouldn't marry a woman that was so fussed about the ring. Poor bloke. My Mrs would marry me tomorrow with no ring.

Poor bastard. He’s saved for three months, got a budget of £1000 and you can’t find anything you like? You’re sounding like a petulant princess OP. ☹️

Here we go...

Not wanting to wear a ring you don't like for the rest of your life has nothing to do with how much you love your partner.

However, you do have to take on joint responsibility here - it is perfectly fine to not get the ring until you can BOTH afford to get one you really like.

There is no reason to delay a wedding over this!

This place might be able to help - they do classic engagement rings with white sapphire for about £100, and then they can replace the stone for a real one later on if you want to.

jianlondon.co.uk/jewellery/Proposal-Rings

This is really not a reason to delay your wedding if you actually want a marriage!

Go without an engagement ring, save up and get something nice as your first anniversary gift instead, if you feel you must have one.

“Engagement rings are prone to a bit of emotional blackmail on the part of the retailers/manufacturers.”

And on the part of fiancées, in this case.....