Am I being a psycho bitch?????

[psychobitch]

Partner started job in new department yesterday and had told me that he had his own office, fair enough.

He called me yesterday from his 'new desk' saying that he has the office all to himself this week. Confused I said that I thought that he had the office to himself all the time anyway? He said no he shares with someone.

Turns out this someone is a woman, which I know I shouldn't have an issue with.

But why has he not mentioned it in the 2 months leading upto him starting the job?

Had a bit of a row about it yesterday, then when we went to bed last night I just had it going round and round my mind and got more and more paniky and worried about it. So when DS woke for a feed at 1:30am, I asked DP why he hadn't told me before.

Asked if he fancied her? If there was something I should know? He just got angry with me.

He said at one point that he wouldn't do anything to risk his home and family (pointed out that he never mentioned me in that, but he said I am part of his family).

Never actually said no he doesn't fancy her or gave a reason why he never mentioned her before. He wouldn't even tell me her name!!!!!!!!

He then came downstairs and slept on the sofa, said he is so close to walking out cause he is sick of me and me accusing him of things.

We are clearly now not talking, he was gone when I got up. I just feel like sitting and crying.

Am I being paranoid? Or a psycho bitch?

sorry don't know why i put a ? after good for you should have been a !!!!

Oh my god!!!!!! I can't believe that I just posted under my normal name!!!!!!

Had posted elsewhere and forgot to change it!

SHOOT ME!

it twas your subconcious telling you that you are not a psycho bitch, well you may as well drop the other name now

I guess I may as well!

Embarrased though cause, although I don't post too often anyway under any name, don't want people thinking I am a complete psycho when I do post under my normal name!

Star - hello, that's loads better!

I'm so pleased that you a) got some [blush) and b) seem to have a much less 'do yourself down' approach this morning.

We on the other hand went out last night and argued all through dinner about my weight loss/ gain! He was trying to suggest ways I could lose weight not exactly the best way to get me in the mood! Plus I don't think I'm actually that bad after 2 kids and a chronic spinal problem.... sorry rant over!

Think I need to take a leaf out of your post and try to approach him tonight as the other poster said, they do like it even if we find it slightly cringeworthy - oh the joys of being female, eh?
Keep it up honey and remember I'm still here if you want to chat off line xx

Hi Wisteria!

You are welcome to 'hijack' as you call it anytime!

Men are nothing if not diplomatic are they !!!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

I flip if DP mentions anything about weight loss, cause even though deep down I know that he is just trying to help me feel better about myself, I see it as him saying he thinks I NEED to lose weight.

Whereas in reality if I ask him about my weight (as someone else said, he can never win if answering that question) he just says that he is happy with me as I am but if I want to change myself then that is upto me!

Hope you and your DP sorted it out anyway! And I am sure that you are lovely regardless of kids and back problems (sounds painful by the way)!

I will mail you when I get the chance but at the mo just keep grabbing a few seconds to post when I can (Mindee 2 asleep, Ds asleep (huge bump on his head, so keep checking him), and mindee 1 is sat here next to me playing and eating fruit!

I know, he didn't mean it like that and he says the same, that he's fine but he knows I get down about it so trying to think of ways to help. He suggested going to the gym so I flipped as you'd think after 4 years of living together he would have some idea of what I can and can't do. I walk the dog once or twice a day and go to pilates once a week (which kills but I persist in the vain hope it's doing me good!).
It also annoyed me because the only reason I'm putting myself through all this is to hopefully get strong enough to have his baby!!

Hi Star, you stick with that name - because you are one . Glad you had such a great night. Feel like I need one of those except I've been so tired this week that I can't summon up any seduction techniques (fell asleep in front of Cherie Blair last night ...)

Keep up the positive thinking .

Oh! If pilates hurts should you really be doing it?

Walking the dog is great exercise (I want a puppy but DP says no, it's like living with my dad sometimes ).

I have a weak back (but nothing compared to how you must suffer with yours) and have been told not to do abdominal curls cause of it, which is the one area I really NEED to work on the most (although all areas are in need of serious toning, and fat loss).

At the moment when going to the gym, as I am just starting again, I am working on burning fat, will concentrate on toning when I am back in my normal clothes!

Planning a baby then? Are you excited about the idea of it? Have to admit that neither of my delightful children were planned (both both very much wanted), and feel I missed out on the excitement that goes with that! (Peeing on a stick then crying not really what I hoped for when having kids).

Hey Tannee - surely watching Cerhie Blair was enough to make anyone sleep??

You're doing wonderfully. Get a few more good days like this under your belt and you'll start to feel better for real. There'll be down times of course, but the more good memories you have the more confidence it will give you over the long haul.

Sounds like he really is attracted to you - put it down to "no accounting for taste" if you must. Some men actually like a bit of wobble on their women, you know!

But I once overhead him talking to his brothers saying that he thinks Kelly Brook is perfect (claims he didn't say it but he was drunk and I wasn't)!

I have real trouble believing he can therefore find me attractive!

Star - they all think Kelly Brook (and Kylie) represent perfection but can you imagine either one of them fancying your dh??
I bet they couldn't cope with it anyway - they'd feel jealous, insecure, possessive etc etc - might teach them a lesson IMO!

Thanks for your concern about my back - it's very kind of you; apparently it's the core strength I need to work on, which is what pilates does. Not wanting to harp on but it hurts 24/7 anyway (I've had it for 18 yrs so am used to it)so I expect a bit more when exercising. To be honest, the biggest problem I have is that for years all the consultants (after mutilating me with their scalpels) told me to lay off exercise and that is what has exacerbated the degeneration. They know a lot more about it all now so are now prescribing exercise!

Oh I am aware that DP could never get a Kelly Brook (he wishes) but do feel he could do better than me though (she's one end of the scale, and I am at the COMPLETE opposite end).

Typical doctors, we spend years doing what they have said, only for them to change their minds!!!

You're doing it again! The putting yourself down......

I bet you are not the opposite end of the scale anyway - he jumped you yesterday and grabbed your arse!! Bet he wouldn't do that if you were
I always think that about my dp - he's 5 years younger, mega fit and v good looking and I am patently not; as the other poster said there's no accounting for taste is there!

I saw a VERY large woman this morning - and I mean, VERY large. Even she wasn't near the other end of the scale. You're nowhere near. AND he fancied you! DOn't go there again ... come back ... you're fanciable.

Kelly & Kylie have no bottoms anyway. What good is that? We need bottoms for our own comfort. Bet they get sore every time they sit down .

Putting yourself down is just like any habit.

The great thing about habits are, you can change them.

Try retraining your brain. When you have a bad thought, say, "I'm so fat," try and follow it with a positive one. For example: "Well, that's because I've had a baby and I've been depressed. And I'm going to the gym, so I'm doing something about it!"

When DP comes home, decide how you want to spend that evening. Do you want to spend it giving him the third degree? No. You want to have a nice evening together. So instead of saying: "Why did you sound a bit funny on the phone today?" , tell him something nice or funny your mindees or your DS did that day.

By making these very small changes you'll gradually get yourself out of the downward spiral habit. I've been there. I know it's difficult. But it can work.

I need more 'virtual slaps' to get me on the straight and narrow - so thank you Wisteria!

Tanee - You have a point! My arse was killing me after going on the bike at the gym the other night (amazingly the 30 minutes of cycling didn't kill me first), and that is with plenty of padding!

Krang - you are right, I know, and I will give it a try!

But as I said before, beware the posts I will need for my required 'virtual slap' to keep me sane!

Star, you're a star for going to the gym. I've never set foot in one. I just look at my ever more womanly body and think about it - then grab another glass of wine .

No, actually I DID go to a gym in 1981 - and pulled a muscle which meant I couldn't move my arm for 6 weeks.

Tanee you really are making me laugh a lot today, thank you!
I am having an absolutely shite day and was in dire need of a giggle so I owe you one!

Now I would much rather be staying in with a glass (let's not pretend, a bottle) of wine! But I drink far too much and think that is why I put on all the weight in the past year.

Get depressed, open a bottle of wine, put weight on, get more depressed, open more wine!!!!

Just time for a little rant before I go to the torture chamber, sorry, the gym!

DP has wound me up, got dinner ready for him, DS and SS (DD is at a friends) and asked him to feed DS so I could get ready and go to the gym and he wouldn't!!!! Said he would eat his dinner then see to him!!!

Why is it always me that has to feed him and get my dinner cold (although wasn't eating tonight wasn't the point). AAARRRRGGGGHHHH

Rant over!

Wisteria - hope you day gets better!

Wisteria, my pleasure

Star, my dp would sympathise with you. He loves his wine anyway, and when he's depressed, the intake goes up (have had a bad six months ) - I love a glass too, but in comparative moderation (most of the time...)

Am still in the office - a meeting to cover til 9pm, haven't had any food since 1 pm so I may be the incredible shrinking woman tonight - got to look on the bright side. Our office is above a pub but I have to keep sober to take the minutes.

MP boss has just arrived early, so I suppose I'd better make myself useful...

star - much nicer name. Have to say that you were a leetle paranoid. But I'm sure you know that by now . Keep on with the exercise. Stop looking at other women and thinking DP fancies them - he got together with you didn't he? And you got some action last night...

PND is shit - it really is. It drains your will, your energy, your self-esteem..everything. See your GP and get some help but meanwhile take long walks, get our in the fresh air. Life looks better that way.

Just back from the gym and am knackered!

Think that I am doing well though (I mean with my stamina) since it has been about 3 years since I regularly attended a gym. And managed 15 minutes on cross trainer and 20 minutes of other cardio, and the weights!

Quite pleased with myself.

And was starving by the time I got home, so eating my dinner seemed more pleasurable than usual. Cause I didn't feel guilty after the exercise I suppose (was also a very healthy meal but then I usually do have healthy dinners, just usually fill up on crap after it)??

you sound really positive, keep it up and when doubt creeps in come on here and vent.