Would you enter into a relationship with a man who had no contact with his child?

[Japanesejazz]

Obviously in his words his ex has poisoned the child against him The child is in their late teens.

If my daughters didn’t want to be in contact with me I think I would curl up and die. So would I. Did you ever detect and underlying sadness from him around the situation or did he want to talk with you about he could resolve it?

A

No I've started dating men in the past then gradually things like this have come out once they've stopped being on best behaviour.
It doesn't sit right with me

I think there are times that it isn't the estranged parents fault, especially with older teens and adults. Both of my now adult DC are now NC with their fathers. They maintained contact one well into adulthood, the other to mid teens. With the one into adulthood they've had a series of big rows. The mid teens one the DC decided he couldn't be bothered with him.

If it was me, i would have tried much harder to repair things but i can't say it was all the fathers fault.

No

No. Dd's dad said similar "minniesmum" - he thinks if he makes contact at 18 then he avoids maintenance. I've stopped bothering to claim it as he was tax evading so that he would have to only pay £5 a week in childcare. It was barely worth collecting it and now he's just tax evading with no excuse.

What really amazes me is that he thinks she will be bothered with him when he's never sent her a card or seen her since she was 6mo!

Yes same here with the crappy £5 a week! He always worked cash in hand and signed on the dodgy prick.

This sounds like my exh op!
I agree with you, I would move heaven and earth and never ever ever stop trying if I couldn’t see my children.
My ex soured his parents against my daughter to the point where they won’t see her.
Excusing his feckless, emotionless behaviour by blaming her for not wanting to see him,he could never see that his inconsistent visits, where most of the time he would sleep and leave her unsupervised on the internet was the reason.
You haven’t heard the full story op. If it didn’t feel right to you it wasn’t right .

There was no contact with my DC after a Court visit.
After this, there were bogus things like taxis and pizzas etc
Later false reports to Social Services and Police
Any attempts by Child Maintenance to obtain money were evaded
Turned up after DCs were over age and left education
Despite them seeing the Reports by various authorities DCs are no longer believing me.
He is a con man
He didn't have the courage to take it up with the Judge who was male
Child Maintenance don't give up
DCs are now in the grip of an abusive male parent and they have partners who are not the best.

Wish they wanted better for themselves
They leave their DCs with someone who tried to use young DCs to control the other parent, along the lines of Munchhausen's by Proxy

Forgot to make the point!
I would never have any contact with a parent who did not have access to their children
This person should just how evil they were to women and children to get dominance.

The DC's are adults with DCs of their own. They don't seem to get how bad a person this is. Being adults they make their own choices but the young DCs should not be subjected to this.
Incidentally, I am now with someone whose ADC love him to bits and have taken me on as his partner.