Would you enter into a relationship with a man who had no contact with his child?

[Japanesejazz]

Obviously in his words his ex has poisoned the child against him The child is in their late teens.

No. So many men lie so easily about the 'bitter ex' that I would not want to get involved. I do wonder how the new gf reconcile the behaviour and stay with men like this.

The man in question earns £175k a year, money is not an object, there is no legal way of enforcing contact with his daughter due to her age, she was 15 when he left she is 18 now.

No my EXh didn't see his DS.. It was ex's fault

Fast forward he doesn't see second DS . sure he tells people it is my fault too

So no not again

Why did the marriage break down Japanesejazz? And what relationships has he had since? Do you suspect something - or do you believe that the xW has turned his DD against him?

Even if the father was the very obvious and clear victim without any shadow of a doubt.

I would still say hell no.

That is just drama I do not want in my life.

Hmmm tricky as at 15 kids can be very manipulative! So it’s hard to know what’s happwnwd.

I’m single mum with DS10 who sees his dad every other weekend but doesn’t pay a penny, he has a partner who has DD same age and useless ex but is fine with the fact he doesn’t pay? I personally wouldn’t as I work full and part time and have to rely on so many people for childcare! But at 15 it’s different as she can make her own choices but I would be encouraging him to do Everything in his power to try but don’t expect to be spending time with her!

15 is very old to be "poisoned" against her dad if they previously had a loving, close relationship.

I would not get involved with this man.

No, I wouldn't.
Worse are the ones who don't see their children yet go on to have more with someone else.
I cannot imagine EVER giving up on seeing my children, let alone being in a headspace where I give up and just replace them instead.

Sadly, some women set the bar quite low.

If she's 18 and doesn't want to see him then he's obviously not a good father. Her mother can't stop her seeing her dad at that age, if she really wanted to see him then she would contact him.

No way in hell.

DPs dad has eight kids by eight women. You can already see how this is going. Yet he still has women falling at his feet. We even moved our immediate family to live five mins away from him. He couldn't be arsed then either.

@Jitterbugz I know a father and son duo whose like this, the difference is is that the father, whose in his late 60s, sees all his kids, 9 in total to 6 women, and his son, whose in his late 30s, isn’t interested in his kids and he even has 3 different women living in the same area as him with 3 kids, 1 to each woman, and what gets me is the fact that he is quite open about the fact that he doesn’t see his kids, and the last woman he got with already had 3 kids of her own to a bit of a waster and then she got with this guy knowing full well that he had another 6 kids that he doesn’t see yet she went on to have a child to this man! Some women are just so stupid, not to mention naive, they probably think ‘he’ll be different with our child’, as if she’s saying that their child is more important than his other ones. He also seems to go for single mothers and I wonder if this is because he likes the fact that they have houses, he lives with his mum when he’s not in prison, and that they’re stuck in the house in the evening due to having kids, whatever he thinks then he’s not boyfriend material in the slightest, but he too has women falling at his feet, they’re stupid and I’ll have no sympathy for his latest one when he leaves her, because I guarantee that he will, when he gets out of prison that is! The lastest girlfriend even had a baby to him when he was just out of jail, and he went back in when she was pregnant & she takes her 3 other kids up to the jail as well once a week to see him, she’s not exactly intelligent, obviously

Absolutely not

I can think of at least 3 men I know who have no contact with their children when they desperately want to.
2 claim to have been dumped when the mother got pregnant (unplanned).
The other is someone who got back with his XP, the mother of his DC1 and they split up after DC2 came along. He claims that she wanted a full sibling for DC1 and that he was used. His friends say this too.
All 3 seem pleasant, hardworking nice guys.
I wouldn't date any of them, but that's because I'm not available. I think i would not be entirely comfortable about the situation, but if I liked them and fancied them I might. I'm not planning on having more children and DC are adults.

All 3 support their DC financially but don't have access - blocked by the mothers but agreed by courts.

How can a mother stop access if the courts say otherwise? Why would a good mother do this to her children, and especially as he’s paying towards them? Does he get the money taken from the CSA or does he pay the money directly to her, this just doesn’t seem fair at all, if I were him then I’d stop paying unless I got to see them, she’d soon change her tune then.

CSA. Going to court is £££.Mother blocks all attempts to contact DC.
It's not fair at all. Nobody wins. The mother is poisoning the DCs against their father. Half-siblings don't get to see their half-siblings. The father doesn't get to see all his DC. I might be wrong but the father seems great. Obviously, I don't know what he'd be like as a partner but I do wonder why on earth he had 2 children with her.
I only hear the father and the step-sibling's side of the story.
I have a feeling that the DC1 and DC2 will one day find out what happened and hate their mother.

My cousin refuses to see his father (my uncle).

His father still turns up regularly to see him. Cousin won't even come out the house. This has been going on for years since he was a teen.

My ex aunt did a lot of poisoning but my uncle still turns up, pays his money and will not give up. That is what father's do.

Would like to shake my cousin tbh.

Does anyone really think it’s not easy to manipulate children and teenagers especially
It’s rare. But I would expect a huge amount of confusion at that age with regards to love and loyalty

OP maybe your DP wasnt there for his child when they were young so now this is why they don’t want to see their dad.

Lots of men don’t contribute to the care of their child and then when they’re 18 they think they can have a relationship with them because all the raising has been done and the useless men won’t be expected to contribute financially when their child is 18, cunts.

My exh tells everybody that he foesnt see his DC cos I've poisoned them against him, that I am jealous etc etc. What he doesn't tell anyone is that he is only short allowed supervised contact (indefinitely) and the great harm he caused the children by projecting his hatred of me. Apparently not being delighted to be physically assaulted, sexually, emotionally and financially abused by him is me being unreasonable...................😒

Apologies for the typos *doesnt not foesnt and short time not short.
OP - I'd tred very carefully with this person. Teens are notoriously fickle but there's going to be more to this than you will ever be privy to. Personally, I'd avoid.

Any father who wasn’t as committed to the wellbeing of his children as one would expect a mother to be would not be deserving of my respect, and I couldn’t have a relationship with someone I didn’t respect.

Thank you all for your comments
I was in a relationship with a man whose daughter did not want to be in contact with him and I was not comfortable with it.
I thought maybe I was being harsh ending it, we were a great couple,never a crossed word, laughed a lot, I miss him loads.
If my daughters didn’t want to be in contact with me I think I would curl up and die.
So whatever happened it just didn’t sit well with me.