Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Get free underwear and make some stuff up!
Make sure you choose the underwear though, I have an inkling his choices may be slightly different to yours.

Seriously!!! Is everyone on OLD mentally damaged?

Just a vent :)

@likeridingbike wahahah!

@lavate hehe. Well that makes sense... People eh?

@love your brunch sounds good - what's the follow up?

RE: me - mr hot crazy doc (He looks like viggo mortenson) who we have a good mutual freind in common - i was wary at first but since I decided 2019 was the year of taking each week as it comes, no preconceptions - i'm still chatting and you know what - he's a nice guy. Weird. He's thinking of something fun for us to do - i'm thinking of suggesting roller skating. That way he gets to be the manly doctor if I fall and we can have a giggle.

supercali, I've been bowling and played pool on my recent dates. It was really good fun I'm so competitive but quite rubbish.

@BeyondShattered spill the beans...

Date #3 for me and my iron this weekend....date 2 was amaaaazing!! so much fun! He talks about a future with me, says good morning everyday and we catch up in the evening. I have honestly never experienced anything like this before. He has not asked for any strange fetish stuff, we talk about sex but there is no pressure, he genuinely seems interested in spending time with me and getting to know me for who I am - can honestky say that has never happened before in my 30+ years of life. I'm really enjoying it so far.

@beyond, yes we want all the details!!!

@warispeace - yeah i'm competitive too haha - can't skate for toffee though

@scotgal - whereabouts in scotland are you? Glasgow? I'm not sure if i've asked you before....wondering if we have overlaps haha x

Well we were arranging what day I was gonna see her then about 9pm she called as she'd be abandoned by bff, so asked if she could come around. I said yes, she jumped in a taxi, walked in the door and kissed me. And then left six hours later (would have stayed but as the kids haven't met her that would have been a smidge inappropriate!!).

I'm not sure how much detail you want for the inbetween bit! but it was mostly let's take things slow and cwtching, til it umm... wasn't

She then rang me and we were on the phone for another hour while she sang to me 😂😂 (we were both a little drunk by this point)

Awww Beyond

@beyondshattered this sounds great. Happy for ya!

Haven’t caught up on the thread but I’ve had a lovely date, he was so attractive, kind funny and a gentleman. I think we get on well, I have some reservations, not 100% sure yet but would like a 2nd date to explore this.

But the messages this morning have been fairly basic and only 2.
I don’t want to fuck it up by being either too direct to kill off this “will we won’t we” feeling! But then again don’t want to appear standoffish (I can come off like that).

How do you follow up to ask if the date worked for them or not? Is a call tonight or a direct question ok? Or just msg back and forth and wait, which I am SHIT at.

I HATE the post date feeling!

I know it's daunting, but I would follow up by saying how you thought the date with and then ask them what they thought too. What's the worst that can happen? Better to just get it out there and hopefully he answers honestly. Don't worry too much about the will we wont we feeling, that's irrelevant for now I guess, just enjoy it for what it is rather than overthinking.

Did you talk about a second date?

No we didn’t, so that in itself I think may mean a no.

Yeah I tend to go by my gut....if he mentioned a second or there was any touching - even a light touch to the knee...I assume he's interested. Personally prefer to wait for them to text first and then match their interest

That sounds good Leather, did you talk on the date about meeting up again?

I think though generally just relax and try and keep it natural at this point, I say this as someone who also hates the post-date feeling so am kind of saying it to myself too! after date 2 and dtd with Mr GoodHair I am already worrying about whether I sent one too many texts yesterday/ said something a little serious while we were together (he is going away for a week now, and I said I kind of wished he wasn't). But I know I tend to get in my own head about this stuff and I'm fairly sure he really likes me so I need to just chill but aarrrgh! I am so with you on the text back and forth, particularly at this stage. But two texts so far today even if basic is quite decent, no?

X-posted there... what was the text exchange this morning, did he text first or you? presuming this date was last night?

Leonasa yesterday lunchtime, I messaged to say thanks for lunch, he responded pretty much straight away but then I was traveling and fell asleep! So I replied this morning, got one back, replied again, got one back. End!

I’m way overthinking this!

Leather can you say something like "I enjoyed meeting you last night and it would be good if we could do it again soon."

Just because nothing was mentioned on the date about a second date, doesn't mean it's a no

I reckon you could be overthinking it, maybe he is busy at work at the moment. It would be shocking if he just didnt text you back after the date at all, but sounds like you have had decent communication.

Leather I hate the post date thing too, I just send a message saying “thank you for a great day/evening, hope we can do it agin soon?”.

I have date number 2 on Friday, not sure where yet but feeling pleased that I have date number 2 lined up. Still not sure how much I like him, there are a few amber flags, he seems fun and nice but I have a feeling he’s the type that I wouldn’t like to be in serious relationship with, I have already lain the cards on the table with what I’m looking for so he knows I don’t want anything too serious right now.

@Leatherandsilk I wouldn't assume no just because it wasn't discussed. I don't think me and my bf discussed a 2nd date on our first! Although he did text me within an hour of getting home saying he couldn't wait to see me again .....don't think either of us ever did the playing it cool thing to be honest 😂
I'd certainly say a message just saying how you felt it went and a hint towards a 2nd is perfectly acceptable at this point ☺️