Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Those of you who use Fab Swingers etc, what sort of profile photo do you use?
Would you show your face? Or save that for when you've found someone you're interested in meeting?
I was put off my the number of dick pics on there without any other photos.

shitwith and love - how did your dates go?

Just got back from my breakfast date with MrBE. He was there before me and said "You're lucky, you just missed the building site getting their takeouts". Phew! I asked what he was doing the rest of the day but he didn't take the hint, so a chaste kiss on the cheek and off I go. Walked past building site (it's on my route home) and saw MrYoung. He wants to see me tonight and give back the £20 he borrowed. I said I'd pop by later with the dog and pick it up!! Lol. But, I might relent and see him tonight, afterall, I changed the bed sheets last night all for nothing!

x post shitwith - will you be seeing him again? I really don't think men know their height and just guess. V annoying.

My friend just showed me fab swingers - Jesus really is scary (lots of people into kinky shit) and a minefield out there.saw lots of familiar faces on there from months/years ago on OLD sites and a Male friend of a friend who I had a couple of dates with a few months ago but was no spark - wouldn’t have expected to see him on there!

Can I join this thread please. I met a guy 4 months ago on OLD (POF) and things went really well from the start. Or so I thought. We had a great connection and he initiated the 'exclusive' conversation on the second date. I thought he was lovely and we talked about holidays etc. and he made it clear that he wanted a long term relationship with me.

He started to go a bit cool on me a few weeks ago and then suddenly dropped a bombshell text telling me that he thought that I wanted more than he could offer. It was full of the usual platitudes about how lovely I am and how he only wishes the best for me.

So after initially being really upset I have decided to dip my toes back in the water of OLD. I think this thread will help me avoid the pitfalls of Mr Lovebombing and Mr Emotionally Unavailable! So far I have had a lot of matches on Tinder and POF and will probably start off with a few dates next week or the week after.

Onwards and upwards!

Hi lily and welcome to the thread.yep lots of flakey men about on OLD!dust yourself off and get back out there!

Oh shitwith why do they lie??? Just why?? If you didn't feel that sort of attraction then move on. I didn't give out my face pic on Fab until I'd been messaging a while. Definitely not as my profile pic. Some saucy/erotic pics of me that anyone who was a friend could see, that's all!

I'm very sex positive so the dick pics etc don't bother me 😅

Hi lily gah!! The flakiness is so annoying. But onwards!!

I have moved two over from Tinder to Whatsapp - I've decided I'm not hanging about anymore and want to chat/WA/speak/meet in as short a time frame as possible 😅

Yes I prefer WhatsApp to Tinder or POF messaging after a while. You can always block them if they become annoying or abusive (I had a problem with one guy who I met once last year and politely turned down as there was no chemistry and he kept sending sarcastic messages.)

No idea what happened with Mr Nice Guy aka My Lovebombing/Mr Emotionally Unavailable but he switched very quickly. I will make sure I don't go exclusive so quickly next time and take all the compliments and flowers with a pinch of salt.

I did have a quick look at Fab on Sunday as I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and wanted to have a quick pick me up! I don't mind the explicit pics as it is clear what people are after on that site. I might meet someone from there but I have never done anything like that before. Are there any safety tips that a more experienced person could offer me?

I might take a deep breath and have another look at Fab. But I'm not going to choose a date based on a dick pic alone. I think I spotted one profile that had a face pic.
I can understand why but it makes choosing who to chat to very difficult.

Having revamped my Tinder account with some of the suggestions that you lovely lot made the other day, I am just in the process of arranging a date for the weekend with someone who seems lovely. He is actually driving about 1.5 hours to meet me, which I suppose could either be taken as a really good sign, or a really bad one!

Anyway, one of the suggestions on my profile was to remove any comments about my weight/size, which I did, and put a full length photo, which I didn't because I don't have one yet. I'm now stressing as to whether I should mention my weight/size before he drives all that way? I'm a 16 top/18 bottom, so not massive, just on the upper end of normal, and I am working on it at the moment with great success, so I won't be this size for long.

Should I mention it, or hope my sparkling personality wins him over regardless of my size when he meets me? As an aside, he only has one photo of his body, and is wearing a load of winter gear, so I can't tell if he is similarly built for comfort, but he doesn't look skinny by any means.

I asked in my profile that if they messaged me they had to include a face pic. There's a way you can attach pics to your messages
Didn't reply to anyone who didn't do this.

TheSheepHaveEyes I wouldn't worry too much about it, and don't mention it. You should be proud of you and who you are and mentioning it makes it seem like a problem when it isn't. Women shouldn't need to declare their dress size before a date!

I'm pretty sure your sparkling wit and personality will win him over, and you're obviously doing something right as he's driving all this way! Good luck :)

I'm miffed. My newbie date has had to rearrange tonight and my ongoing iron already has plans so can't substitute
However that means I currently have an afternoon date tomorrow. And an evening date tomorrow.

I've done it! I have a profile on Fab with enough in my bio to put off anyone except the super keen.
I put up one slightly risque photo. If I want to actually chat to someone then I'll send a face pic.
And I've had loads of messages so far but none that I want to reply to. I feel like I want to find my way around the site first before committing to anything.

I agree that on Fab you should ask to see face pics. I have replied to some couples as for some reason I feel safer meeting a couple than a single guy. Not sure how it all works but will report back.

Meanwhile I have a couple of potential dates from Tinder. Not sure if I fancy seeing anyone this weekend as I am still a bit raw after being dumped last weekend. It feels very strange as we seemed to be so close and we texted all the time .

TheSheepHaveEyes please don't worry about your size. So many guys like curvy women and you shouldn't consider it something that you have to mention in advance. I am sure you are absolutely lovely.

@TheSheepHaveEyes I definitely wouldn't mention it. Relax and enjoy yourself

I know I shouldn't worry about it, but my weight bothers me a bit. I associate it with how unhappy I was in my marriage, I think, and I suppose I expect it to bother other people! I'll try and remember that it probably won't be a problem, and if it is then that is his problem, not mine.

A lot of people don’t use face pics on FAB as some are married and a lot are professionals and don’t want people they work with to know they are on there, always ask for a face pic once you start chatting and definitely before meeting.

Back from my date with Mr South African, he can talk and talk and talk, most of the date was pretty good but there were times when I felt a bit bored with his talking. I’m sure there’s a lot more to find out about him (good and bad) and at the moment I am unsure if he’s really relationship material.

I find that if someone talks non-stop it is a bit of a turn-off. They need to be able to listen as well. Of course he could just have been nervous, so if you like him then maybe give him another chance.