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Original poster

Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

999 replies

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 28/01/2019 12:29

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
shitwithsugaron · 06/02/2019 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Upyerbum70 · 06/02/2019 23:36

Hello. I’ve been on Bumble for a week or so. Flurry of matches but Nothing more than that. My opener has been something along the lines of ‘hello, thanks for matching, this is weird isn’t it...’ that sort of thing. Usually mention something in their profile/photos. Though I’m a bit sarcastic and said something stupid to a bloke that was my first match. He works for the same emergency service as me and visits my building regularly so it all seemed promising, but i made a quip and he deleted his profile.doh.

So I suggested date with another match and we met today in an art gallery. He was late , ok I can deal with that. He was on his bike and had come a fair way. Am I mean to think these things are not good signs:

He was late (ok in isolation) but he did text.
He lives in a shared house
His two children live with their ‘guardians’ in a town a few miles away from my city
He didn’t have a penny. I suggested coffee at the gallery so we could have a chat but he said he had nothing. Now I’m super careful with every penny, I have two
Jobs and I don’t have too much spare cash, but I simply wouldn’t go out and meet up with someone with a big fat zero. I bought us coffee, no issues. I don’t expect a man to pay for me, but to have nothing on you? Not even a card? 🧐

He sent a very nice message saying our meeting had been the highlight of his day and could we meet again. I felt zero connection and conversation was like pulling teeth. I let him down gently, I think.

Feeling a bit flat now.

WarIsPeace · 06/02/2019 23:39

Good grief that is a terrible date really. But it's only one, the next will be better (can't be worse!)

richdeniro · 06/02/2019 23:57

Well I sent the girl who blocked me on Monday this text from a spare work phone I have lying around as a text message and left it at that, probably not the wisest move but I do wear my heart on my sleeve, am not a judgemental person and do want her to know that it did mean something to me at least:

Hey,

It's Rich messaging from a spare work phone, don't worry I wouldn't normally go to these kind of lengths to message someone after just one date, I just wanted to get a message through to you so that you would know that I would never think badly of you and I just hope you are ok.

I completely understand your situation and I get that you were probably very confused. The last thing I would want you to feel is unhappy. I also know that I probably came on a bit strong which is also very unlike me but I did think you were lovely and we seemed to have so much chemistry.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I don't think badly of you as it was probably the most I've ever clicked with anyone on a first date and I didn't want you to disappear without letting you know that especially as you are such a lovely person.

If you do want to stay in touch we can but I will understand if not and wish you all the best.

Rich x

TooOldForThis67 · 07/02/2019 00:05

Sorry for disappearing. Yes I was a bit drunk. When my friend from OLD left last night we had a kiss. That's why I felt bad. He had brought over his home brew for sampling and left it here - maybe hoping to return?

I then stupidly msg MrYoung and suggested going over his (it was gone 11.30), having previously declined his offer to go over after 10. Blush Turns out he had fallen asleep, thankfully.

My STBX leaves in the early hours to return to Lithuania. This visit has been 3 wks. He really does my head in. I have told him never again, a week max. I get so stressed when he's here and end up drinking and doing stupid things.

Good news is that I had date 2 with MrBirdsEye tonight and gave him a peck on the cheek as he dropped me off. He msg later to say he was so happy I did that as he was wondering whether to or not. Seeing him again Fri morning. In a roundabout way he told me that he wouldn't sleep with anyone until he's known them a while Shock so I suppose it means he's taking this seriously? Not had this before!

It will soon be the w/e. Lets hope we all bag a date!

TooOldForThis67 · 07/02/2019 00:08

Aww, rich that's so sweet. You've made it clear. I hope she responds but don't be surprised if she doesn't.

supercali77 · 07/02/2019 00:25

So. I completed tinder. And now something has gone wrong with Google play services on my phone and it won't even open. Fate is happening. I've decided this is the year I say 'Yes!' To random acts. So far....have said yes to cinema with freinds. Hopefully something more exciting soon haha

richdeniro · 07/02/2019 00:55

@TooOld I wish I hadn't now, a couple of my friends said it made me sound desperate and crossing her boundaries/not respecting her wishes having blocked me plus slightly stalky sending from an unknown number of a spare phone I had lying around which wasn't my intention at all :(

unique1986 · 07/02/2019 01:26

@Rich

I agree with yours friends..

You just hated the fact she blocked you.Grin
More honest would have been how dare you block me before I get a chance to say my bit too.
Even if it means funding a random phone and finding your number from our previous emails.

supercali77 · 07/02/2019 06:42

rich don't feel bad...fact is everyone is trying to play it cool on these things but at the end of the day we're all human. I saw a movie last night and heard a great line "there's a lot of lonely people in this world afraid to make the first move".

WarIsPeace · 07/02/2019 06:52

Supercali I've found tinder weird lately. Loads of new faces but also 'there's no one new around you' daily and my mileage is 24 miles at the moment. I also had to log back in this week?

I've gone invisible on both at the moment as also completed bumble Grin

Auba14 · 07/02/2019 06:59

rich I agree with your friends sorry 😐 She made her feelings clear when she blocked you and you’ve not respected her boundaries and wishes at all by messaging her. Please don’t message her again! You’ve said what you wanted to so hopefully you can let it go now.

Notcoolmum · 07/02/2019 07:06

No point regretting it now rich it’s done. Take it as the closure you needed and move on.

Does your ex stay with you then tooold? Hope things keep going well with mr BE.

Those dating someone exclusively, how have you known when it’s more than just dating. Has there been ‘the chat’ or does it just become obvious?

shitwithsugaron · 07/02/2019 07:41

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovemusic33 · 07/02/2019 07:42

Help laddies and gents. I’m meant to be going on date 2 with Mr South African tomorrow, last week I cancelled our date due to snow and now I might have to cancel tomorrow, he has asked if I can drive to him as he can’t drive tomorrow (not sure why), this would be fine, however they give more main and very heavy winds tomorrow, the roads here are already flooded and the main road is closed due to road works (so I would have to use tiny country lanes), I also have the most horrendous period pains. I’m worried I will get stuck in floods or a tree might fall and I won’t be able to get home to the dd’s. If I cancel again is he going to be angry? I am happy to rearrange for early next week, I’m just worried he will think I’m making excuses but I really don’t want to drive in 70mph winds and heavy rain and risk getting stuck, I live in a rural village that often gets cut off.

Lovemusic33 · 07/02/2019 07:45

shit I would arrange to go for a coffee somewhere half way between the both of you, some people will just want to meet up for sex straight away but I wouldn’t advise this. I used KiK a long time ago, I made a separate user name (a random one).

supercali77 · 07/02/2019 07:46

warispeace yep it was just behaving abnormally and let me in today. Weird.

love if you want him to know you're not messing him about and want to see him again maybe call? Texting cam be so easily misunderstood

Lovemusic33 · 07/02/2019 07:48

super your right, I might ask him if I can call him later, I don’t usually do phone calls but he’s not great at texting. I don’t want him to think I’m messing him around as I do like him, he doesn’t have kids so I’m worried he won’t understand that me getting stuck in floods would be a total disaster.

shitwithsugaron · 07/02/2019 07:54

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 07/02/2019 08:11

shitwith no I didn't put my Kik username in my profile, they had to earn that! Also didn't use my name as my Kik username - just first initial and some random numbers. Or you could use whatever your username is on Fab.

I specified in my profile a social meet first and always. No exceptions. You will be inundated - do lots of weeding!

rich is completely human to want to say your piece. It's done now, so draw a line under it. It is a bit stalkery - don't do it again!

Love I wouldn't want to drive in those conditions either - I would call him and explain.

Downloaded Tinder last night - I have a date on Sunday. I'll call him Mr Cavalier. Also ran into another FWB Blush (met on Fab) so happily practised my flirting skills on him. Had he been free on Sunday we would have met.

Dontsayyouloveme · 07/02/2019 08:14

rich you need to listen to your friends, including me! 🙄

TooOldForThis67 · 07/02/2019 08:18

@notcoolmum - yes he does as he has no where else to stay, took early retirement and living off a tiny pension until he retrains in Lithuania. To be fair, he doesn't see our son much so it's nice that they spend quality time together.
love - I agree with pp to call him and then back it up by sending a local weather report msg. If he doesn't understand then he's not worth it.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 07/02/2019 08:21

UpYer that was a crap date! Chalk it up to experience - no harm was done (that's a low bar for a date but you know .... 😂)

wishywashy6 · 07/02/2019 08:29

Those dating someone exclusively, how have you known when it’s more than just dating. Has there been ‘the chat’ or does it just become obvious?

I 'knew' after about 5/6 weeks but had a proper chat with him to make sure he was on the same page and at that point we both deleted our dating profiles

shitwithsugaron · 07/02/2019 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.