Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Hi everyone update from me... date number 3 was lovely, drinks, cinema and then food and more drinks. Ready to head home at 2am and he travelled with me all the way back to my area where I has parked my car. We live in opposite ends of London. No one has ever done that for me before. I've been invited to his place for our next date...looking forward to it. Still have no complaints so far, total gent and when I'm with him I don't want to leave. I'm like a school girl all over again! Text and phone communication is still very consistent. He is ticking a lot of my boxes at the moment

Hi @CocoKoko123 yes this happened to me fairly recently with a guy I met OLD.
We dtd twice then I realised he was avoiding sex.
In the end I just asked him about it and it turned out he only really enjoyed sex in a very specific way. The way he used to have it with his ex girlfriend. He wanted to recreate that sex life with me.
We split up straight after

Thanks for the insight indie.i shall wait and see...

Date yesterday with someone who admitted, about 10mins in, that he was still married. Because "they hadn't got round to sorting anything out yet".
I know people do date when they are technically still married but this seemed more like one of them was still hanging on in hope. Fortunately he wasn't really my type.

I have another iron who just wants FWB. Fine with me. Except last night he said he split with his last one because of her kids. She didn't have enough time to see him as often as he wanted. I pointed out that I had kids and little free time and that he'd probably find that problem with me and most women. He's still chatting so we'll see what happens.

stubborn - that's where I'm at atm but I'm in danger of going the other way and being totally intolerant.
myold - I've not got round to getting divorced cos to me it's just a formality that can wait. I've not thought about what it looks like to other people/men! Hmm, might have to think again.

So I msg MrYoung last night saying that I really liked him and would he like to see me again (as I don't play games or like to keep guessing). He replied with 'yeah it would be nice.....loads more sex'. Just that! So I was a bit miffed and replied basically saying that if sex is all he wants then thanks but no thanks.

MrBirdsEye sent a msg asking to see me again but it's proving difficult to find a day/time that suits us both.

Looks like I'll be back on OLD again soon! Lol.

This thread has filled up fast! I’ve deleted all my accounts and am taking a break, still have a couple of irons on WA but I was getting too overinvested so am chilling out not chasing and when they are gone I’m not replacing just focusing on me.

I did however send a msg to an iron I went out with once and slept with last year, who did the “let’s me friends” thing, he’s cute far too young for me but kept sending me the odd note every now and then so thought what the hell I don’t want to date but a FWB would be nice to fill the time.

And he said yes to meeting so al good hopefully!

MrUndecided who I overinvested in is just confusing with sporadic messaging so leaving that in his camp and emotionally detaching I truly CBA with games.

Toold me too separated for years but yet to divorce

I dated while my divorce was ongoing as ot took over two and a half years and I didn't want to put my life on hold! It was also a pleasant distraction!

Had a date last night with the doctor freind of a freind. Was going to go bowling but went to Hawaiian bar. Food. Cocktails. Fun night. I got quite drunk 🤦‍♀️. my freibd had alrwady told me he'd quite recently put on weight due to medication...so he was bigger than pics but not overweight. I like a really lean body type. Shallow yes. However the man had knock out eyes. And a promising kiss. Plus the right level of humour and piss taking. So....im seeing him again this week

I understand dating while divorce is still being sorted. Or even while you're separated but haven't actually started the process. So long as the marriage is over.
But it was the way he described it that made me think it wasn't a mutual decision. And there was a possibility they may not divorce.

I do know what you mean MyOldBrain I dated someone like that - it did feel very unfinished and like he was keeping his options open. Absolutely no financial stuff had been sorted either which rang alarm bells. Nothing can move forward for me unless a proper line has beeen drawn, or is being drawn.

Sounds promising supercali

Mr Irish still messaging - we're on WhatsApp now. Going to talk on the phone this evening. He's asked me for a date. Have another iron, Mr Caring, who is lovely and funny. He does have a beard which I am normally not attracted to though Very funny, good at chatting.

So that's me. Only went back on on Saturday evening!

Awww helpme he sounds lovely!

HAHHAHAHA omg @shitwithsugaron I would honestly think it was a joke if I received a message like that!??! At least he is straight to the point

I think I've managed to scare off yet another potential FWB.
I made it clear early on that the first meeting had to be in public, I wasn't going to invite him to my house straightaway. He seemed ok with that.

Our texts have included some 'mild innuendo' but when he tried to be more explicit, I said I don't do sexting with someone I haven't met. He accepted that but wasn't so happy.

I suggested meeting this week but choose a pub reasonable close to me and explained that I couldn't do a late night as I'd be leaving my kids home alone.

Now he's come back and said I don't understand how FWB works and that I'm just putting too many conditions on it.

Am I?

MyOld - Actually I think it's him that doesn't understand it! Has he never met a woman online for FWB before? I don't know any of them who'd go ahead and just turn up for sex or the option of it on the first meet. What if you don't fancy each other? What if he creeps you out? What if he seems unsafe? Does he understand the 'freinds' part of FWB at all??

Also, I agree sexting before you've met is a bad idea....if you meet and you're not into them then the sexting feels super cringey and bleugh.

i agree with you @supercali77 he clearly doesn't get the 'friends' bit. if he is scared off by you trying to be safe and making sure you're by your kids then he isn't the right FWB for you.

if you meet and you're not into them then the sexting feels super cringey and bleugh
Exactly!! That's why I won't do it.

He says he's ok with meeting in public the first time, so I'm not really sure what his problem is tbh. He did say he ended it with his last FWB because she wasn't available as much as he wanted. Because she had kids. So maybe that's what this is all about.

I've had many messages from men inviting themselves to my house. I always say no and explain that it's not safe. Then they're not interested any more. It makes me wonder if there are plenty of women who invite strangers to their house for sex.

MyOld I have to admit that I have had men around my house for the first meet but I don’t make a habit of it, I prefer to go for a drink with them for the first meet because even though it’s only FWB there needs to be some kind of attraction and you need to know a little bit about them before going to bed with them. There are plenty of men out there that are happy to meet in a public place first and build some kind of friendship, don’t do anything that makes you feel unsafe.

I feel a bit stuck in a rut at the moment. Didn’t here from Mr South African all weekend, got a text this morning asking if I had a good weekend, replied and didn’t get much back, I know he’s not a big texter but I’m finding it a bit annoying as I try and start a conversation and he disappears or replies with a couple words. I don’t really have any other good irons at the moment.

It'd take me a week to tidy up before I even think about getting rid of the kids for a few hours

Plus I really don't want someone who hasn't got their own place