Hello folks, I swear it's only a few days since I was last on, and already the new thread is half filled up!
So.....I've been off Bumble for a couple of weeks; thought I'd have a bit of a break and, er, eliminate all my irons from enquiries, as it were, before starting afresh. So, I had a date with Mr Dead Van yesterday - he's from quite a long way away, so we met somewhere really pretty in the middle, and had a walk. The walk was great.....even if he wasn't . He was okaaaay, but I don't think I want to meet up again, and he didn't seem keen either.
Maybe it was because I inadvertently led him into a knee deep quagmire of slurry, and he got some in his boots, and didn't take it that well ? 
. I have form for that- thinking back, I have had quite a few walking dates where my gentleman companions have ended up knee deep in bogs, and I've ended up unscathed. Just call me the mud siren.....
So, that leaves Mr Urbanite, with whom I'm exchanging increasingly lovely messages, and gradually firming up a date the weekend after next. Hopefully. Perhaps it's time to get back on Bumble and get some more irons, so I don't over invest. Alternatively, somebody 10 years younger than me has just messaged me on OKC asking to chat, and on the strength of some of these recent posts, maybe I should give it a whirl!
single as you can see from the above ^, I too am fond of walks as dates. I keep on hoping to find someone to enjoy a good yomp on Dartmoor with, parts of which are extremely remote, and had thought of a particular walk to a relatively busy beauty spot as being a good one for a first or second date. Maybe save those expeditions where you don't see another soul all day until you've got to know somebody a bit better? At least until you know whether he's the type who's going to cut up rough if he gets a wet sock 
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confused 21 I'm actually finding your posts a little bit painful to read, as they remind me so much of how I used to be- I've also experienced abusive relationships. I'm not entirely sure if it's that people like us attract abusive men (I'd like to think I don't any more, but still have to be careful), more that men like this try it on with a great deal of women - it seems that everybody here has received some shocking communications at one time or other- and then hone in on women who don't have the confidence to rebuff them.
I am very conscious that, in previous relationships, men have almost deliberately pushed against my boundaries, it seems just to see how easily I'd give in. And previously I did- out of a lack of self esteem, or not feeling sure of myself. But every time they did- speaking to me disrespectfully, perhaps, or pushing me to do something I wasn't comfortable doing sexually- I could feel my discomfort rising- and I deliberately suppressed it.
The only thing that I do differently now is that I listen to that feeling. It's my inner voice- I've been told for so long, by so many people, that it's wrong, mistaken, overreacting- it's not. It's bang on, every time.
If you trust that little inner voice, it'll see you right.
(sermon over 
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