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Original poster

Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

999 replies

MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 28/01/2019 12:29

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Confusedlady21 · 02/02/2019 12:01

@Mulie Thank you. I just feel very stupid now 😞x

Confusedlady21 · 02/02/2019 12:02

@wishywashy6 I know you’re right. I guess I just hoped that it would have worked. Never really been used for sex before! Ouch! X

wishywashy6 · 02/02/2019 12:07

@Confusedlady21 I think I've always been the one doing the using if anything 😆
You'll look back in a few months and wonder what you ever saw in him.
Stay strong ☺️

TheSheepHaveEyes · 02/02/2019 12:07

Can I please have a quick bit of help on a reply to a message. Just briefly, lovely guy, met on Bumble, haven't met in real life yet, been texting back and forwards for four days, all day, really thoughtful texts, says good morning and good night, we've talked about all sorts, I would really like to meet him, which we have discussed for this coming week.

We're talking about flossing (the dance - don't ask!) and he said that 'maybe after a few drinks I might even attempt it'.

Do you think it's too much to say something like 'Well maybe I should buy you a few drinks' and then a winky smiley face?

I'm not used to flirting by text, and am worried that I'll come on too strong and scare him away!

Mulie · 02/02/2019 12:11

@confusedlady21 please don’t feel stupid. You are a decent person who has been taken by surprise because you wouldn’t dream of treating a person in such a way.
Please feel empowered instead. You have been enlightened to the fact this type of person exists and you will spot it easier next time. Hopefully you got some decent sex out of him too and you got started on the hamster wheel of joy 😆 that is OLD.
Go find the wonderful man that deserves you.

Mulie · 02/02/2019 12:13

@TheSheepHaveEyes not too strong at all.

TheSheepHaveEyes · 02/02/2019 12:18

@Mulie thank you! I sent it! I just think I needed a kick up the bum!

I think if I got a message like that if the shoe were on the other foot, I'd feel pretty flattered, particularly if we'd been getting on well, which we have been.

TheSheepHaveEyes · 02/02/2019 12:19

Haha! Not even 30 seconds later...

'Yes that sounds good' and a blushing smiley face, a winky smily face and a whisky glass emoji

Grin
Mulie · 02/02/2019 12:31

Nicely done @thesheephaveeyes Grin

Confusedlady21 · 02/02/2019 12:33

Argh! One of my friends now has said to text him and just ask him!!!! Grrrr!!! X

wishywashy6 · 02/02/2019 12:39

@Confusedlady21 don't!!

Confusedlady21 · 02/02/2019 12:40

@wishywashy6 Lol! I need you all sat on my shoulder telling me off. My sister said I will look desperate and needy if I do! X

wishywashy6 · 02/02/2019 12:41

@Confusedlady21 if he wanted you, he'd have been in touch. If you get in touch with him, what outcome are you hoping for??

wishywashy6 · 02/02/2019 12:41

@Confusedlady21 listen to your sister!! She sounds like a wise lady 😬

Lovemusic33 · 02/02/2019 12:50

confused how would messaging him help, what ever his answer (if he answers) is worth nothing, I wouldn’t date this guy if someone paid me, he sounds like a creep and a user. Block him and forget about him. Seriously there will be many others that will ghoast you, piss you off, lie to you and just be total dicks, this is the world of on line dating, if you give each iron this much head space you will drive yourself nuts.

Notcoolmum · 02/02/2019 12:53

Aw thesheephaveeyes it’s sounding promising.

confused time to forget about him. I’m sure he has forgotten about you! (Not meaning to sound harsh x)

singleascheeseslice · 02/02/2019 13:13

I ended up breaking dry Jan with a couple glasses of wine and was sending Mr.lawyer running songs Confused. Not randomly, we were chatting on WA and he was also drinking. Just felt a bit grimy this morning. I made joke of it this AM - (my older bro always sends me songs and silly gifs and he can get a bit annoying!) and he said I can send him any music I want anytime. He really is so nice I am not used it lol Note to self though, stop messaging if I am having a drink! I don't want to become my older bro!

Original poster
MyOldBrainStoppedWorking · 02/02/2019 13:22

Confusedlady this man is occupying every minute of your day. You're discussing him on here, discussing him with friends and family.
Stop it!
I doubt he gave you a second thought the second you walked away. You questioned his behaviour and he didn't like it. He's not going to change. He will do it to the next woman and the next woman and the next.

Why are you so desperate to get in touch with him? To apologise for your behaviour? You haven't done anything wrong. To ask him if he's upset with you? He's not. He's moved on to someone else.
What will texting him actually achieve? What outcome do you want? He's not going to apologise. He's not going to make you feel any better.

OP posts:
Flower32 · 02/02/2019 13:43

Didn't have a very good night last night :( So I texted Mr Runner on Thursday evening asking if he wanted to meet up this weekend and he texted back saying he'd decided not to meet up again. He didn't exactly say why but when I brought up a bit of an awkward moment at the end of the last date when I got a bit shy, that lead to a bit of a conversation about him being like that years ago and how he's developed a lot since, maybe as if I'm a bit behind for him?? . I was actually the one who initiated the kiss though which was a bit ironic. Although he did say he felt very conflicted about it. That hit me quite hard last night, couldn't get to sleep properly and I'd only met him 5 times! Although was starting to get a bit excited about where it was going :(

I'm due to meet Mr Money again next weekend but I don't think the attraction is there for me. He is a lovely guy and starting to grow on me a bit but my mind has been too caught up with Mr Runner lately to be thinking about him.

Azzizam · 02/02/2019 14:17

@Flower That's painful. Five dates is a lot in my book! I'd feel exactly the same. Hope you get him out of your mind soon.

Flower32 · 02/02/2019 15:04

@Azzizam yeah I was starting to think it was going somewhere. He was the kind of guy I was looking for but saying that, we didn't really have a laugh, he was quite serious and I have quite a jokey personality so don't know how that would have worked out. At least we hadn't dtd that would have hurt a lot more. I do wonder though if it was something to do with that. At the end of the last date there was an opportunity for me to invite him in but I didn't mainly because I wanted to get to know him a bit better but also because I wasn't really getting any signals from him. Oh well I suppose if it was because of that then I've weeded him out lol.

TooOldForThis67 · 02/02/2019 15:53

Flower - my date yesterday was telling me about a lady he dated 4/5 times and she dumped him because on the last date he didn't invite her in. He said he got no signals. I think she blocked him so he couldn't even reply. I should have asked him more!

shitwithsugaron · 02/02/2019 16:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TooOldForThis67 · 02/02/2019 17:31

shitwithsugar - that sound like it could be really interesting!

I'm getting cold feet about MrYoung. I just don't get why he wouldn't want to date someone his own age. He's probably just after sex and whilst that could be fun, I never, ever, think that's all I want from the start. Yeah, I've had loads of one night stands but I see that as me using them for sex, not the other way around. If that makes sense. I've sent him a msg asking if he's sure about this and that I'm not jumping into bed with him. Date is at 7.30. Feck.

TooOldForThis67 · 02/02/2019 17:59

Well, I've had no reply to my msg to MrYoung. But MrBirdsEye rang and asked what I was up to. I didn't say I had a date tonight with someone else! However, the line was really bad and I had to hang up. I sent a msg asking what did he call for, bad line etc. He was online but didn't reply.
I bloody well give up. Why are men so shit at communication Angry.
I'd rather go out with MrBirdsEye but then again I haven't met MrYoung yet. I just don't know what I am doing!!!