Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Thanks @eesha!
Right everyone! Should I go on Tinder? I met him on plenty of fish so don’t want to go back on there!
I’ve been watching a billion Matthew Hussey videos this week to try and make myself feel better (I love him!!! Not sure if any of you have seen him??!!) but I’m sure he would say to stop focusing on this guy and make other opportunities!! Lol! X

I second everything supercali said!

Don't necessarily think it's the app that is the issue - it's him. You can find good and shit men on POF and Tinder. If it make syou feel better and for a proper fresh start give Tinder a go.

Yep I know it’s not the app...I just didn’t want him seeing me on there lol x

@confused Let the stupid fucker see you online. It's none of his business what you do. Get out there are be who you are!!

*and be who you are

And @confused Don't be surprised if he resurfaces down the line. I've been ghosted, blocked, ignored, treated like garbage and somehow or other they all find their way back.
I take huge delight ignoring them. Or being friendly but emphasising how happy I am with a great guy (even if untrue!) Lol

@azzizam Haha. I wish I cared a lot less! I guess I’m thinking that if I do that then I’ll def not hear from him again....where actually I know I won’t anyway! I’m too worried about upsetting people! How utterly embarrassingly pathetic! Haha! X

You can’t hide from everyone you have dated, I see many of the people who pissed me off, stood me up and screwed me over on dating apps,they even look at my profile, a few have messaged me a year later to apolagise, screw them, there loss not mine. Hold your head high and get back on there.

@Azzizam is right - they circle back, or look at IG stories/Snapchat. It's all bollocks.

Hey everyone, just been catching up on everyone's updates.
@confused, I can really feel your hurt in your messages and just to agree with everyone that he is an utter tool. You sound lovely, just made a bad choice but I would try and view it as getting back on the horse, and to just put it behind you now and who cares if he is on the apps and sees you there. Try not to message, I've been there and it won't make you feel any better if he ignored your message.

@lovemusic, I am with you on the 48 hour rule. If you don't hear from them, then toast!

I've had a quiet January, have had a total break from apps and dating. Seen my FWB a few times and enjoying time with him. He's consistent and I know where I stand.

I also went on a date with someone I know in real life - shock horror - we used to work together about four years ago so know what he looks like and his back story and thought he was a nice guy. Well I was wrong, we had one lovely date and then he wanted to sit in my car - we had a kiss, fine. Then I could just sense he was going to get his dick out, he didn't as I didn't let it happen, could just tell from his body language! So we then discussed date two, I'm not massively convinced.... Comes to planning the second date, apparently we have already had one date out and now its time for a proper date - inside! Um no! Entitled or what. I was clear in my response that I would like to get to know him and he's just totally ignored me. That was 48 hours ago! So hes failed that test. Just shows, they can be dicks whether you know them already or meet online. I'm a bit disappointed truth be told.

So decided to get straight back out there and downloaded Bumble. Having issues getting Tinder to download. But already having nice chats with a few people who can string a sentence together :-).

Thanks again all. I’m still feeling really rubbish about it all. I think I’m feeling more crap today as it’s obvious now that he really isn’t going to text me. I would just love an answer so I can draw a line. At the moment, as it took me four flipping years to get back out there, I can’t even imagine starting talking to someone else as I was really starting to like him 😞 I need to get a grip! X

love you were totally right! It actually ended up being just a really friendly chat. So there is something in these guys who move to a date quickly and keep to messages on the app only. Will you have your second date with Mr SA?

Mr Lawyer was cute and incredibly sweet. The only thing that was a bit off putting (and call me shallow but I like hair!) was that He has a tiny bald patch at the back, hadn't thought about that, need pics from behind in future! I jest, we are going a walk on monday and we swapped numbers. He said he only dates one person at a time but also prefaced us talking on watsapp by telling me he's in various groups, so is online a lot. I wasn't really expecting it all to move so quickly, if I am honest and not to blow my own trumpet here but I look so glam and young at the side of him, I think he can't believe his luck. I like him though, hes a nice person with a healthy attitude and seems so in awe. I am hoping the fact I can stomach someone being so nice to me, means all the work I did on myself during my 5 year break from relationships has paid off. Sorry for the stream of consciousness. TO conclude, I will take it one date at a time with him. Meanwhile though, feel bit dodgy logging into pof to read messages, but I totally should, shouldn't I?

@confused. I felt like you about a guy not so long ago. I saw him 4 times in all. Took 7 days for first time to text. Then 69 days the second time. 22 days the third time and 31 days as of now. Haha I finally stopped taking the stupid pills. It's tough though when for some reason you get attached to the bad guys. 😒

Hope you have fun supercali! And that all you ladies (and gentlemen!) have a good night whatever you are up to.

Talking of ghosts reappearing, I just had a guy who I was chatting to over Xmas and who I haven't spoken to for at least three weeks pop up in my WhatsApp! Apparently he was "on holiday, had exams, changes at work" yeah whatever. He already cancelled on me when we had plans before, twice. So he ain't getting a reply!!

Xx

Having a massively weak moment here!!!!!! X

Evening Ladies (and Gents)
I had my coffee date this morning. He looks far better in real life and was so interesting. I'll call him MrBirdsEye. He msg shortly after to say he liked me. I replied back saying the same. He then msg asking if I'd like to see him again and I said Yes! I haven't told him I smoke and drink.
Do you think it's not the done thing to ask why he doesn't drink?

I also have a date with MrYoung Sat eve. I told my Mum how old he was and she looked pretty shocked, so now I feel bad.

leonasa and supercali - hope you have a great night!

hi confused sorry be self absorbed since I had my first date since my ex-H 20 years ago today but I hope you can hang in there. That guy sounds like a user and abuser! Chat here instead of messaging him!!!

*I've been

I had a guy I'd talked to on POF appear on Kik (which I'd deleted) this week. We talked over a year ago. I was green about Kik then and sure enough he was married but got me on there to exchange "pictures".
His poor wife. 😏

@singleascheeseslice
No don’t be sorry! I’m glad someone is having a good time! :-)
I’m sorry to keep going with this.
Basically I’ve come up with this....I feel like the way we left it I could be ghosting (if that’s what it’s called) him in his eyes. I also know that he may not be thinking this at all!
The thing is, the type of person I am, it is eating me up inside thinking that there is a chance that he thinks this. It’s just not me to walk away from something without saying something with someone who I have slept with.
So I thought about calling him. That gives him the opportunity to not answer me if he wants.
Yes, he could be a complete knob and tell me to sod off but I will get some sort of closure on this maybe?? Because at the moment I’m just always wondering.
I know everyone is probably getting pretty pissed off with me and my whining about this, and everyone says to leave it, that’s just really hard for me. Argh!!!!!!!!!! Lol x

I just keep looking back at when I left, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and I didn’t even look at him as I was so upset about what he had said. I didn’t even explain. I just feel like a bitch to be honest. I’ll prob call and he’ll be on a date! Haha x

Anyone mind if I join? Only signed up to bumble and tinder last week after a disastrous experience with someone I met offline.

It’s a minefield! Definitely need to have resilience.

Confused I think you should leave it. I know it’s hard but there’s nothing to have stopped him getting in touch if he wanted to. Try to protect your self-esteem from another rejection. Speaking from experience

single and TooOld they sound great first meetings.

I used Kik when using the swinging site for FWBs - they don't get your number that way and I kept WhatsApp for friends and 'proper' dates