Dating Thread 146 - Swipe Left Swipe Right

[MyOldBrainStoppedWorking]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Aww don't all be too happy, it's still very early on!!

Anyway, Saturday has been moved forwards to tomorrow, assuming xh isn't a dick about having the kids overnight

@scotgal - nature of the game - chatting about the place although tbf I tend to be unable to keep too many strands going...i think we did talk about this. wondering if we had crossovers with matches etc.....I've met some bell-ends haha.

lol Ant330 I understand why people have a gripe with filters and I wouldn't mind if I actually had filters but I don't. So not sure what that's about.

And, it seems like on Tinder I need the Hubble telescope to see what men's faces actually look like amidst their wild and crazy lives full of triathlons, sky diving and treks across the Sahara desert. I actually dgaf about any of that, just want to see his damn face

Yes long range photos that by the time you've zoomed in you can't tell what they look like. And sorry I know should go over to the why you swipe thread but what is it about holiday snaps without the person in question actually in them!
But it wasn't all like that, and there were some women that I quite liked their profiles. So as long they don't think I look like Sloth from the Goonies, I may not be left on the shelf, and might consider getting myself 'out there' earlier than intended.

Before I quit OLD I was on Match for 6 months before trying Tinder/Bumble/POF and although I got a lot of messages from men I wasn't interested in on Match, The 3 guys I did date were all met on there. I didn't go on any dates with men from anywhere else. The swiping just doesn't sit right with me. At least on match you can read a bit about someone first (and I found that a lot of the guys on there were also on Tinder/Bumble anyway!)

Sorry, not been catching up on the thread, but wanted to post something. A week ago, I was in a total state as guy I’d been seeing wasn’t texting, I felt abandoned, etc (I’m soooooooo co-dependent). Asked him when I saw him (Thurs night) if this was just a fuckbuddy thing. He said he wasn’t seeing anyone & wanted to keep it simple. I felt my feeling change immediately.

Since then, I honestly couldn’t give a fuck if he contacted me again. Of course, he did. I ignored it & muted him on WhatsApp. He texted the next day asking if I was ok. Said I was, just had notifications off as pissed off with ppl taking the piss. He asked if he’d done something & I just said “no”. Tbh he hasn’t done anything, he was just honest about what he wants. I just realised that drive 2.5hrs round trip, for a shag & a couple of hours chatting, is not for me. I’m just amazed at how emotionally I feel so different.

Mr South African hardly messages me at all and when he does it’s just one message which I answer quite quickly and then he vanishes again. I’m not overly bothered as this just seems to be the way he is, he doesn’t really do texting and when we met he said that he doesn’t like how things can be taken the wrong way when messaging and it often makes people over invest early on (in a way I think he’s right) so I feel quite relaxed about everything, what will be will be and I don’t need to text him all the time. We are meant to be meeting for lunch tomorrow but it’s looking like my kids might have a snow day so I might have to suggest my local pub as I can’t leave he dd’s for too long, hopefully he will understand this (he doesn’t have kids).

For those of you who have taken a break from OLD, do you just deactivate your accounts and then reactivate them when you want to go back, or do you delete your accounts and start fresh with a new profile?

The reason I ask, is that I am considering taking a bit of a break from OLD. This is partly because I live in a geographically challenging area (in Scotland) and I feel like I have exhausted my options at the minute, but also because since I joined up, I've more definitely worked out what I want from a relationship, and have also changed my thoughts on the type of man I'd like to meet. I'm just wondering if rather than deactivate and reactivate my old account, I should start a completely fresh one on each app, with new photos, new bio etc, and see if it attracts anyone different who may have overlooked me/who I may have overlooked.

Also, if anyone wants to look over and help me completely overhaul my OLD profile, I'd appreciate the help!

@TheSheepHaveEyes I took a break but just don't take mine seriously anymore. I used to actively swipe but now don't. My profile is still visible though. You sound like you know more about what you want so maybe do a whole new profile so feels fresh. I'm happy to help though I did find in the past, a man reviewing my profile was better!

@Thesheep - I've done both - deactivated and deleted (when i was dating someone for a couple of months) - in terms of going back on...i think deletion is better. Specifically with Tinder. Happy to look at your profile - also in Scotland. Slim pickin's my freind! Just PM me

@supercali77 Yes! Slim pickin's indeed! That is exactly how I'm feeling about it all! I'm close enough to Glasgow and Edinburgh to think there'd be plenty of choice, but I'm really struggling to find anyone that I like. There have been a couple of nice ones, but they've died a death and disappeared either before a date or after one date. Maybe it's me . Same old faces on Tinder, Bumble, PoF, Match... This is going to sound stupid, but I don't really like bald heads, just a personal preference, but I think I'm going to have to let that go, and try and overlook it because it seems that most men in this part of Scotland are bald!

Anyway, thank you. I'll PM you. Would I just send a link to my profile?

@thesheep - yeah depending on your age being ok with baldy might be a necessity haha. Yeah just send me a link x

Sheep someone from Glasgow is chatting me to me and I just think, what’s th point I’m like 5hrs away!? Yet locally? No one I just snooze/deactivate then go back on.

I think I have a 2nd date with my guy, we’ve been texting but it’s all a bit non committal. Trouble is with me if someone plays it cool my attention wanders off, I’m not into faffing about. Own worst enemy!

sheep I’m always taking a break, I usually hide my profile or just stop logging on, if your not online for a while you profile doesn’t show up as much so people stop messaging. I don’t delete as it’s a pain having to make a new account. I live in a rural area too and get fed up seeing the same faces and no new ones.

I deleted mine back in October but I do sort of regret that now because when I want to go back on, I'll need to re set it up again (look for photos, which I found hard enough in the first place).

I'm also not sure anyone has taken one decent picture of me in that time fgs!

I found deleting better because I totally put it out of my mind. Apps were gone, account was gone etc. No temptation to turn them back on and browse

Yes you do though you can get a 4.99 intro month, and then they offered me a second month at that rate too.

I have actually found it better than the free apps, even though you have to deal with quite a lot of unwanted messages, the two guys that I have had most success with recently have come from there, I think maybe having to pay weeds out the people who really aren't serious, just want sexting or hook ups or whatever.

I've not had any success with Match at all, but I am in a really low population area, which is possibly something to do with it. There are far fewer people on there than there is on PoF. I would also say they're a bit older too, on average.

You can sometimes get a 3 day free trial on Match. Gives you all the features - see who's liked you & messaged you.
Google 'Match.com offers' and see what comes up. But be carefully, I signed up for a free trial but didn't get it. I had to email them and they changed the settings for me.

At the end of the free trial if you suspend your account they usually offer you a reduced price.

The only thing I didn't like about Match was that you didn't know who had paid and who hadn't. So you could message someone and not get a reply. But that could be because they couldn't read your message.

It was ok but I didn't find the men on there any better than on Pof/Tinder etc. Worth having a look though.

You have to call them to get the 4.99 intro month I think but it's available to everyone. I just did that, then the second discounted month they gave me, and got in as many as possible messages etc before it ran out! ☺️

There probably aren't as many people, though it depends where you live, but I do think those that there are take it a bit more seriously.

Quick update and need help!
Chatting to a 33 yr old. I could be his mother! However, he comes across as a decent guy. He is local (walking distance!) has a dog and a son the same age as mine. Just seems a bit creepy tho doesnt it?
Surely looking for a leg over although he says not, but he would do wouldn't he!
Tbh, I'm down to the baldies now, the sheep, and it's quite despressing! Lol.
So, question is, do I give this young guy a chance, at least to meet?

tooold not sure what site you are on but you must have included his age in your age range and potentially swiped on him. A man wouldn’t think twice! Inorefer someone a similar age to me for shared reference points etc.

To who was asking about deleting the apps. I’ve deactivated tinder and bumble and then deleted. I will have to reinstall to take myself off them completely which seems a bit mad. Waiting to see what happens with Mr S before I do that. But I’m happy not swiping every day.

Tooold I don't think there is anything wrong with it, as NotCool said, a man wouldn't think twice! It is much more normal for men to date older women now and I think younger men tend to be more open to it, probably due to different attitudes than the older generation!

It's up to you whether you feel you'd have an issue but I certainly don't think there is any reason you shouldn't chat to him and potentially meet! Some people are more mature than others, god knows there are plenty of 50-year-old man children out there ☺️