Found my knickers in stepdaughter's drawer

[Skiddaddleeeeo]

So, our stepdaughter rarely puts clothes/undies in the wash. Common teenage habit perhaps. Today I'm at home tidying up and went into her drawers to hunt out dirty clothes. I found three pairs of my own g strings in there, all very visibly worn.
Do I say anything? Tell my partner?
V bizarre I know. I'm also now thinking I probably shouldn't have gone into her drawers in future...!

Haven't RTFT but reported before I got to the first MNHQ response. Big fail here MNHQ.

At 15 she really should be washing her own underclothes. It's not nice for someone else to do it, a matter of self respect. Have a talk with her about that, give her a little bowl and some washing stuff and she can do them in the bathroom at bedtime.

Have a word with yourself. FFS.

I can't imagine my dd rummaging through my underwear drawer and appropriating my knickers.

They're bloody gigantic for one thing

I do think there is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for a neurotypical 15 year old to not be doing their own laundry however.

Last thing I want is my kids messing with my laundry regime.
I will teach them how to do it, and they already do parts of it, but you can't have a house full of people putting the washing machine on whenever they feel like it.
If my 15yo did her own washing I'd be fuming, it all goes in together.

I don't see what's wrong with wearing thongs at 15. I'd say 15 is the age where stuff like that becomes acceptable. 15 isn't a 'child' in the sense of innocence and keeping them young really, is it?
I also agree with @AmICrazyorWhat2 and whoever she quoted from - I used to sneak into my mums room and borrow DM's underwear out of her drawer and stash it, remind myself to wash it and forget, because I wouldn't want her having a go about me taking her things!

I wear them sometimes and I don’t “do uncomfortable”, (for example no heels), sounds to me more like people kidding themselves about their size

I assume that was directed at me but as I am 5ft3 and 8st7 I fail to see your point. There is nothing remotely comfy about a bit of material sitting in between your arse cheeks whether you're a size 8 or a size 20.

Your friend who is a lesbian wearing them is neither here nor there. They weren't invented to be attractive to women. They were invented to be attracted to men.

By all means wear them, I really don't care, but please let's not pretend we don't know the reason for their existence.

Let me rephrase my reply.

1. With some items of my clothing I prefer thongs (jeans, leggings, summer dresses for example) because they are less bulky.

1. I do not personally find them uncomfortable, if I did, I would never wear them. Simple as that.

1. I am a feminist in my 40s. When I do wear them, I don’t do it to attract men, I certainly don’t have them showing when out and about. Sometimes days go by without men seeing me in my knix. I dress for me!

1. Neither do I think that all women who are buying them in, say, M&S, is doing so to become “man magnets” or buying them because they find them uncomfortable.

1. Some lesbian women wear thongs too. They are certainly not wearing them to attract men.

1. I think a 15 year old should be able to select her own undies and enjoy the privacy of her own space. But that does not give her the right to take other’s things. But in the scheme of things this is so minor, itvis important not to let it escalate and damage a relationship.

She went through your underwear drawer. That's unacceptable. You need to tell your DP

FFS MNHQ -

I can't see what is such a bad idea about girls washing their own underclothes by hand, not letting them pile up but doing them each night. It doesn't take long. I always wanted to do it, it was nicer than someone else doing it including my mum, once I got past a certain age.

Plus not wearing someone else's knickers, even if clean, is a good rule to have. Families are one thing but when they leave home, girls may end up sharing flats with people who are less hygienic. You hear about rows over things like amongst students.

At 15, the op's step daughter is well old enough to understand all that and it would mean nobody else routing through her knicker drawer. I think she would be pleased to do it, part of being grown up.

I can't see what is such a bad idea about girls washing their own underclothes by hand, not letting them pile up but doing them each night.

How can you be serious about this?

It’s shaming young women in to thinking their knickers are somehow so dirty that they shouldn’t possibly be mixed in with the family’s laundry

And hand washing never gets things as clean as a machine either so is a gross idea

It's a long standing poster widgeon

They are certainly not wearing them to attract men.

I didn't say that women wear them to attract men. I said that they are an item designed to attract men. They weren't invented with women's comfort or practicality in mind.

I don't know what's so controversial about saying that, it's true.

You can and should choose to wear whatever you want. But we don't make choices in a vacuum.

Does she live with you?

If not what does she do at her mums regarding laundry?

She just ran out of pants so nicked some of yours... not great but hardly the level of deviancy you're implying. My sister has been stealing my pants for years

A girl in her mid teens should be able to wear what the fuck she wants as underwear. It is underwear ffs. She is hardly prancing up and down the high street wearing nowt but nipple tassels, crotchless knickers and thigh high kinky boots whilst saying come and get me boys

To be honest though i dont go into victim blaming/shaming, females should not be held accountable for a males abuaive actions against females and underwear is not a green light for sexual assault to happen against a female.

However,

She should not be nicking her sm's undies and she should not be putting dirty laundy away in draws. Both actions are not normal.

Tell her to bloody well leave your clothes alone and to stop being unhygenic.

The thought of wearing someone else's underwear, or someone wearing mine turns my stomach.

And I'm not normally a germophobe/clean freak.

I can't believe people share underwear.

She just ran out of pants so nicked some of yours... not great but hardly the level of deviancy you're implying. My sister has been stealing my pants for years

^Agree with BlackPrism

Also, all the people saying the 15 year old should be doing their own washing...really?!! Whilst I think at that age they should know how to put the odd wash on and help with some of the laundry, I don't think it should be their full responsibility to do it all. Also, lets think of their ages...they are 15, heads full of school shit and impending exams. My DD is 15 years old and I wouldn't be expecting her to be doing her own laundry all the time. I ask her to sort the dirty laundry depending on what wash I'm putting on and to help take stuff of the airer, then take her clean laundry to put away in her room.

Also, some teens just don't think. My DD will often put clothes she has worn in with clean stuff, without thinking. I've asked her about it and she just says 'Oh I forgot, sorry.'. Teens aren't perfect, there's a lot going on in their heads at this time and sometimes they will do weird shit so don't be so hard on her.

Some people find wearing thongs uncomfortable and some people don't. I used to prefer wearing thongs in my pre children days, nothing to do with who was going to see them, I just liked that they were small and I didn't have a VPL! I used to wear the cotton ones from Topshop. They were comfortable, I couldn't feel the bit that's up your bum!

To be honest though i dont go into victim blaming/shaming, females should not be held accountable for a males abuaive actions against females and underwear is not a green light for sexual assault to happen against a female.

Give over, no one has said anything on this thread to even imply they blame underwear for sexual assaults on women.

here you go Bugger

Stunned at some of the attitudes to thongs on here!

I only own thongs (apart from one pair of pants that I call my Dr Pants, which I wear when I go to physio / osteo / medical appointments when I know I'll have to strip down to my undies and think that the other person may not want full view of my arse cheeks). I love them and find them really comfortable. Men have been in remarkably short supply in my life for the last 16 years, so I'm certainly not wearing them to impress or titillate anyone else!

My 16 year old DD has some thongs in her overflowing underwear drawer and it never occurred to me that they might be somehow inappropriate for a teenage girl. She likes to wear them for school sports, as she finds that her sport skort gives her a really uncomfortable wedgie with butt covering pants.

Girls used to always wash their underwear at night when they bathed, never left two or three pairs to be washed at once and would never dream of wearing someone else's knickers. Mothers used to teach that to their daughters when the were reaching puberty. It's quite normal.

FFS! I am older than God and when I was young we had a twin tub, doing a washing took ages but my mum never suggested I wash out my undies every night in a sink! Everything was washed properly (and tbh the twin tub did a far better job than many washing machines I have owned.)

Wtf is going on with the Victorian hand washing of knickers when you bathe (does that mean in the bath?) at night thing? I've read some odd things but ....!

Why on earth would anyone hand wash anything unless it strictly cannot be washed in a machine? Why on earth would underwear be separated out from a machine wash unless you're quite persnickety or the owner has thrush etc (though I'd have thought a hot wash would be ok for that). Why are night? Why a couple of pairs of knickers atva time every night when we generally own dozens .... Is the poster living in some Amish commune somewhere - this is so strange.