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Original poster

Found my knickers in stepdaughter's drawer

166 replies

Skiddaddleeeeo · 23/01/2019 14:50

So, our stepdaughter rarely puts clothes/undies in the wash. Common teenage habit perhaps. Today I'm at home tidying up and went into her drawers to hunt out dirty clothes. I found three pairs of my own g strings in there, all very visibly worn.
Do I say anything? Tell my partner?
V bizarre I know. I'm also now thinking I probably shouldn't have gone into her drawers in future...!

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 23/01/2019 18:14

Several points here so I will try and be succinct.

  1. I think there is a danger of making a mountain out of a mole hill. For this occasion, I suggest you take the knickers back, wash them and when the time is right quietly ask her if she would like some new underwear.
  1. Thongs are not just to attract men as suggested earlier (for starters, l have a friend who wears them who is lesbian), they are a practical option for certain (outer) clothing styles and summer days. As for them being uncomfortable. I wear them sometimes and I don’t “do uncomfortable”, (for example no heels), sounds to me more like people kidding themselves about their size. By the way, I don’t wear them for anyone elses benefit either.
  1. Ask her to organise her washing; washing bin or it’s not done. She’ll run out.
  1. Allow her privacy of her drawers.
Perfectly1mperfect · 23/01/2019 18:25

Skiddaddleeeeo

I wasn't trying to embarrass you but I'm sure your sd would be embarrassed if she knew this was on here. There are some odd people who unfortunately do post similar stuff to this and they are trolls and your post came across as that. If this is genuine I still think it's wrong to post this about your step daughter as I think some things that are personal like this about children especially should be dealt with as best you can by yourself. I'm sure that you are capable of doing this.

Racecardriver · 23/01/2019 18:46

@eliza9917 the law doesn’t treat all children equally. In many areas of law the way the court treats a 15 year old is more similar to theway it treats an adult than a ten year old for example. Fifteen year olds are not like ten year olds. They wear tight fitting clothing that requires no vpl underwear, they have sexulaties which they explore, they have more adult tastes in clothing and body shapes and sizes that fit into adult clothing, they have political views on the oppression of women and slut shaming and so on.

jessstan2 · 23/01/2019 18:55

Girls used to always wash their underwear at night when they bathed, never left two or three pairs to be washed at once and would never dream of wearing someone else's knickers. Mothers used to teach that to their daughters when the were reaching puberty. It's quite normal.

Nothing wrong with string pants (tho' must say I never found them comfortable), the op made a mistake calling them, "thongs", which are a different type of thing altogether.

I will give the girl the benefit of the doubt and say the op's pants got into the drawer mixed up with other stuff. However she does need to talk to her about laundry, etc.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2019 18:58

I'm sure your sd would be embarrassed if she knew this was on here
But she won't will she? I'm sure the husband who can't keep it up or the sister who won't return the £100 she borrowed or the MIL who did a poo too big to flush would be embarrassed. But it's not like she's posted on FB or identifying info "DS'S Emily Smith who goes to St Mary's keeps knicking my knickers" would be totally different

Perfectly1mperfect · 23/01/2019 19:02

SleepingStandingUp

But this is a child. Sometimes posters are identified. And I still think that OP should respect the privacy of her sd and could have worked out what to do herself.

fullforce · 23/01/2019 19:04

Not RTFT but I’d have gone batshit if a step parent went through any of my possessions at aged 15, let alone my underwear drawer! I’ve certainly heard it all now

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2019 19:05

Well if she could have worked out how to tackle it she wouldn't be asking would she? God forbid she admit to not having all the answers to eveything and not wanting to ACTUALLY emvarass the kid in real life

Mabelface · 23/01/2019 19:06

She's run out of clean ones, nicked yours and hidden them in the drawer so you won't realise. A simple "oi, sd, lay off my pants and get your own washed" would be sufficient. My daughter has done this with my pants and socks.

funnylittlefloozie · 23/01/2019 19:09

Girls used to always wash their underwear at night when they bathed, never left two or three pairs to be washed at once and would never dream of wearing someone else's knickers. Mothers used to teach that to their daughters when the were reaching puberty. It's quite normal.

Normal in your house, perhaps. Definitely not in mine or any of my friends.

Perfectly1mperfect · 23/01/2019 19:10

SleepingStandingUp

This is madness, you really think that she couldn't come up with any way of dealing with this other than post it on a public forum? I despair.

steff13 · 23/01/2019 19:11

Not RTFT but I’d have gone batshit if a step parent went through any of my possessions at aged 15, let alone my underwear drawer! I’ve certainly heard it all now

Where did the SD get the OP's underwear? From her underwear drawer, I would have thought.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/01/2019 19:11

Well OP clearly didn't.

Or am I meant to assume she's getting some sexual thrill from all this talk or teaching the kid to do laundry or wash them in the sink every night??

Perfectly1mperfect · 23/01/2019 19:17

Ot am I meant to assume she's getting some sexual thrill from all this talk or teaching the kid to do laundry or wash them in the sink every night??

Unfortunately there probably are some who are reading this for that reason. Mumsnet are aware and delete posts for this reason, many people reported this thread because it sounded like previous posts from trolls.

I think for personal things like this, you shouldn't jump on the Internet, you should just work out how to deal with it yourself as you know how to approach the child better than anyone on here.

Bertiebitch32 · 23/01/2019 19:19

My daughter certainly wouldn't be pinching my m&s belly warmers, mind im a prude I wouldn't be purchasing a 15 year old g strings but that's just me 😂

Original poster
Skiddaddleeeeo · 23/01/2019 19:19

@Perfectly1mperfect I'm keen to know what thrills you so much that you're still hanging around. Perhaps I'm naive but my mind isn't warped enough to consider this post as perverted.
I assume you only hang around here to cast judgement and have never posted a problem of your own. Or perhaps it was entitled "I'm so upset that everyone isn't perfect" or "oh my lord, someone posted on a site specifically aimed at asking others for advice, asking for advice"

OP posts:
AmICrazyorWhat2 · 23/01/2019 19:21

She's run out of clean ones, nicked yours and hidden them in the drawer so you won't realise. A simple "oi, sd, lay off my pants and get your own washed" would be sufficient. My daughter has done this with my pants and socks.

This ^ DD has also nicked my stuff on occasion, mainly outerwear, but I expect there's been the odd pair of knickers as well. Your DSD just needs to get in the habit of tossing her clothes in the laundry basket, end of story.

Original poster
Skiddaddleeeeo · 23/01/2019 19:25

To clarify, she has a drawer she specifically uses to stash "all" of her dirty clothes. In a fortnight nothing has been in the wash except for a pair of socks. Hence going into the specific drawer. I wasn't rifling through drawers in search of anything other than dirty washing

OP posts:
itshappened · 23/01/2019 19:25

I think she will quickly figure out that you found them as they won't be in the drawer where she hid them. I wouldn't say anything this time as she will prob be embarrassed enough when she realises this. But do put a laundry basket in her room and ask her to put all dirty laundry in it when she stays.

Teenage girls are very secretive and sneaky, and not known for their laundry skills in my experience!

Perfectly1mperfect · 23/01/2019 19:32

Perhaps I'm naive but my mind isn't warped enough to consider this post as perverted.

Ask mumsnet how many reported this, I certainly wasn't alone. Some wrote that they reported it, mumsnet also thanked those that had reported without posting that they had. Maybe you haven't seen posts by the knicker troll or the one that posts about toilets in schools etc. These sickos exist.

I'll hide this thread now and leave you to it. I think you are naive though if you are really not aware of things like this.

Handsfull13 · 23/01/2019 19:57

I think it depends on how close you are to your step daughter.

If you aren't close I would take the underwear and dirty clothing out for washing and buy her another pack of underwear and leave in her room. If she doesn't have her own laundry basket in her room I would suggest getting her one.

If you're close I would sit down and ask her if she needs more underwear. Let her know you had to go get the washing from her room as nothing had been through in a few weeks. Tell her you found she has been used your knickers and you aren't comfortable with that, especially the going into your room and helping herself without asking.

I do all the washing in my house because our machine doesn't do half loads which is what it would be if we all did it separately. My step son has his own basket and I just go in and grab the clothes when I need to. But he is very aware if it's not in the basket it doesn't go in the wash.

starzig · 23/01/2019 20:53

Not getting what is so wrong about step daughter borrowing some knickers.
When was at home my mum and 2 sisters always ended up with and so ended up wearing each others.
So long as she isn't putting ones she has worn back into your drawer then there is no issue here.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 23/01/2019 21:24

If she's regularly putting her dirty washing in a drawer and not getting anything cleaned you need to have a conversation with her. "Dsd I've noticed you're not putting washing in your basket, do it please, it's pretty unhygenic that you aren't. If you'd rather wash it yourself that's great, here's the machine, heres the detergent, just put it in here and press this button. Thanks"

jessstan2 · 23/01/2019 21:28

starzig, it's unhygienic to wear someone else's knickers. I've not come across women who would do it unless by accident, you just don't.
That's why I think it is quite likely the girl picked up the op's by accident.

starzig · 23/01/2019 21:34

To be fair Jess, we had a washing machine and they were (usually) clean.
Must be OK, I never 'caught' anything.
If you are in the habit of catching anything untoward it is probably not from someone else's clean knickers.