Who has worked in escorting?

[Ely7891]

I’m a single mum with little support system, I can barely afford to keep the roof over our heads. I’m seriously considering escorting, a high end agency want to meet with me to discuss it further. It’s run by a young female, their booking procedure for new clients is rigorous and these guys are paying hundreds.. so far it seems as safe a way to do this. Until then I want to hear from women who have done this. Not interested in hearing judgement; I’ve scraped by for 4 years, I’ve worked hard, I’ve taken further training, I’ve moved houses, I’ve sold my possessions, I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas. I can NOT get ahead of myself and now I’m in debt. I want to take charge back of my life and if this is the way to go, so be it. So please if any ladies out there who have experience, I’d be very grateful for your insight. Thank you x

Totally agree New, it's giving me the actual boak now.

No advice but big hugs that you are having to do this. Totally understand the desperation that you are feeling.
No judgement from me for what it’s worth. You’re doing whatever you can to feed and dress your children. Wish our government would help out people like this in awful situations. You work too and still it’s not covering the bills. My hats off to you.
Please be safe and careful.
If you do end up going through this line of work I hope it’s not for long and helps you and your family get on with life.

Big hugs.
XxxxxxxX

No judgement here, but please do your research and keep safe.
I just received a message from a bloke on my online dating site, to ask if I'd spit on him for money
Must admit, it did make me briefly consider the dominatrix route
Good luck OP.

I have no advice and no experience in the industry. I find it a disgrace that in a wealthy Western country women are forced to make these kind of choices to feed their kids.
Considering all the expenses for hotels, the restrictions of time (you can hardly leave your kids alone over night?) and the risks including the risk of being outed, I do wonder, whether phone sex (or is there only internet sex these days?) might not be an option.

The thing is do you actually like sex and lots of it ??because I am afraid I couldn’t do it for all the tea in China as I simply cannot feign enjoyment that much with people I have no connection with , strangely Though ‘if’ I was in that position I would prefer cam work or even phone stuff simply because whilst I can act , I don’t like touch one bit unless I am ‘into’ the person , the idea that itsnice trips to bars and restaurants is very naive I feel or more of us would be totally hunky dory with that!!

Phone sex and cam work is even more saturated than hooking. I do phone and text sex, I couldn't live on the money it generates. Same with selling unidentfying vids.

The expenses aren't so bad if you're savvy. 4/5 star hotels often have deals especially if you sign up with them properly. Day rooms are also great as if the John backs out I've lost nothing (yes it happens because of timewasters). But all the expenses are deductible.

But any form of sex work comes with the risk of being outed.

I also agree with a pp about being wary of other hookers. Most are decent, but there are others who will set out to destroy you if they feel threatened by the risk of losing money. Also be aware of guys who contact you with advice. There are a couple of known pimps who do this and start demanding their fee and then fuck with you by making bs bookings.

Ely, this thread has certainly provided you with valuable information.
I hope all goes well for you. Good luck!

Thank you so much for your help, understanding and concern. I’ve got a lot of amazing feedback and help, I can let you know what happens if you want? Still undecided but I’m definitely leaning...

My heart goes out to anyone feeling this is the only way to pay the bills. Stay safe OP, the advice from experienced escorts is startling.

Someone very very close to me is an escort driver, I've met a few of them in various other ways. I don't know if it's the same for all companies but a lot of these women didn't actually have sex. They were however expected to drink and snort copious amounts of cocaine. There are other aspects to it than just sex. I know of some well known men hire the women too and basically just paid them to sit with him and his mates in their underwear 💁🏻‍♀️

Do keep updated even for support and so we know you’re ok. Xxxx

hello, let me give you a perspective from a man who uses escorts, i do it because its the only way i can get sex, but i"m also quite happy just to have a naked cuddle, the girls i see all advertise on adult work and they all work for themselves, most of them charge £100 per hour, they have all said to me they enjoy sex so much so why not get paid for it as well, none of them have said they are just doing it for the money, so my advice is...work for yourself and not an agency, get a profile with pictures on adultwork, always talk to the person on the phone before any meeting, never give out your address until you know the person is near, just give them your postcode, always take the money first and put it in another room somewhere safe, be confident, take charge and have fun, if its done in the right way by both people it can be a great experience.

compostcorner trust me, none of those women enjoy it.

Compostcorner, yeah, they enjoy being with you so much that you have to pay them £100 an hour just to be in the same room as them.

I know some women who have done sex work.

They used alcohol and drugs to help them cope and developed a habit. Then they had to work longer hours and do things they didn’t want to and with dodgy punters because they had to support their habit as well as pay the bills. And of course they got raped and assaulted more often.

Their appearance deteriorated and they couldn’t earn as much because they got terrible reviews - punters prefer women’s drug use to be invisible.

Their addiction got out of control and they lost their kids, some to family members and some into foster care. Most of them are still working to feed their habit .

I know that women like them are not likely to be posting here on MN but their stories are real too.

@compostcorner oh dear.

They aren't liking it. Their skin is crawling and they are desperately trying not to show it because they need the money.

What I did like about it was being beautifully dressed and well groomed, getting in a taxi and going to a hotel to have an adventure, usually starting with a nice meal. Being as I wasn't in a very good place having taken some knocks when I started, it gave me a sense of power and I felt very, very attractive.

I would never have got into drink and drugs so no habit to support.

When it came to performing sex, I sent my mind off elsewhere and was able to act quite convincingly.

One day I no longer felt able to think a pleasant fantasy and 'perform', neither did I want to any more so just stopped. I wanted a more normal life, not something on the 'fringe'.

I've not regretted doing it, it was an experience and I learned a lot about human nature. It gave me confidence at a time when my self esteem was low. Only once did I have a client who was, frankly, unpleasant, we didn't have sex and I never saw him again.

OP, have you spoken to Money Advice Service or Stepchange? If you have debts that you're paying off (don't have to be huge debts) they can phone everyone you're struggling to pay for you and can reduce your payments down to as little as £1 a week. I spoke to someone who works for them recently and had no idea what they can do, I was amazed. People with massive money worries end up having all that weight off their shoulders, they can actually use their wages/benefits for food etc rather than it all going on bills and repayments. And they can check you;re getting all the benefits/tax breaks you should be, plus advise you of any grants you may be eligible for.

Just a thought. If something like that is possible for you, surely it is safer if nothing else than prostitution?

Out of a purely academic interest:

Can someone please enlighten me, why you should give out your address/meeting place only once the punters are near? And how do you make sure of that?
And where is 'somewhere save' to put the money before starting?

It all sounds logistically quite challenging.

@compostcorner speaks for some of us. We don't all cringe or have our skin crawl. Some of us actually enjoy it. If I didn't I wouldn't be doing it. Strange hey? Having the free choice to do something enjoyable, plus getting paid for it. Imagine working 16 hours pcm and having enough money for your family without the need of benefit top-ups?

Of course, I am not saying some hookers are forced into it for a variety of reasons. Through the forums, we try and help these ladies/guys break away. We direct them to the specialist services available to us. We can be open and honest with each other without the judgement. And it's this judgement why a lot of hookers don't report or get help. They should be applauded for having the balls to get away from some very dangerous pimps.

@deepwater because if you give your address out to someone who ends up not showing up then it’s a very unsettling feeling. Are they someone whose trying to catch you out? Are they dangerous and going to show up randomly unannounced etc?
I would give them my postcode and tell them where to park. They would be visible from my window so I would know if they were really there or not. I’d then give my door number. I would also only see men with recent positive feedback on adultwork from other escorts. If they had no feedback then I would never risk seeing them just incase.
Somewhere safe to put the money for me was in a different room from them. I would just saying something like “i’ll Be back in a moment, can I get you a drink?” I’d then disappear into another room and stash the cash in a secret hidden location. In 10 years I never had anyone try to rob me, probably because I only saw well reviewed men

Thank you, Frosty66611, for the explanation. And the feedback feature to hear about experiences with the customer makes sense, too.

deepwatersolo - I will have to be vague to answer as it's part of safety protocols.
Address for safety reasons. Each hooker will have something specific in place to meet their safety requirements.
Somewhere safe is usually a safe or somewhere that the money can be stashed out of the John's view.

It can be challenging. It's one of the reasons why it's not suited for everyone. At times you have to think very quickly on your feet. You have to be confident enough to say actually no, I won't do doggy or whatever. You have to be confident to say mate go and wash your cock and bollocks, and no I'm not going to rim you. (although these details are usually sorted during the booking process). This is something that agency workers don't have. That autonomy to talk to the John first to find out what he expects.

@compostcorner that is rather naive, they aren't going to say they feel pushed into it because they need the money are they. I'm sure there was an AMA with someone who used to do it recently, they said they said this but it wasn't true. I'll see if I can find it.