Who has worked in escorting?

[Ely7891]

I’m a single mum with little support system, I can barely afford to keep the roof over our heads. I’m seriously considering escorting, a high end agency want to meet with me to discuss it further. It’s run by a young female, their booking procedure for new clients is rigorous and these guys are paying hundreds.. so far it seems as safe a way to do this. Until then I want to hear from women who have done this. Not interested in hearing judgement; I’ve scraped by for 4 years, I’ve worked hard, I’ve taken further training, I’ve moved houses, I’ve sold my possessions, I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas. I can NOT get ahead of myself and now I’m in debt. I want to take charge back of my life and if this is the way to go, so be it. So please if any ladies out there who have experience, I’d be very grateful for your insight. Thank you x

Jesus I hope it wasn’t a Client! How inappropriate! I’d be working an hour and a half from the town I live, one person and one person only knows I am considering this.
Like I said, I’m not interested in people’s judgements, I’m simply looking to talk to someone who has actual experience in the industry so I can hear the realities of it. I’m not romanticing it in anyway, and yes having sex isn’t exactly something I dreamt of doing when I was little. But It pays well and I have no one to help

I worked in escorting for about a year. I was skint working for min wage, was single and had a child.

I worked from a flat with other girls, and did home and hotel visits.

I worked for a god company. I had a driver to take me to and from appointments, and when we had an appointment from the flat there was always a man there to keep an eye on us.

I personally didn't have any trouble, some men didn't want sex, some just wanted company or a night out with a pretty girl. But I did hear some stories from the other girls when they had been with a different agency, so I was lucky.

What ever you decide good luck.

Plump

That was your experience. OP's may be different.

If you failed at recruitment, then you obviously didn't try hard enough.

Escorting not something any parent should do.

I've never been in the business, but surely men use escorts because they are virtually guaranteed to get sex if the price is right? Otherwise why wouldn't they just chat up non escorts?
Plus I imagine once a price is agreed the man will expect his moneys worth, irrespective of the escort's feelings, comfort or scruples?

Why would she like some random job as a recruitment consultant? Why do you keep suggesting that? She didn't ask for career advice and who wants a commission only job when you have bills to pay? That kind of job has targets as in sales and isn't for everyone.

I think it's for a lot more people compared to selling your body and the possibility of aggressive rape or violation every time you go in to work.

It may be a random job, but it's a far safer job for the OP and her family, and reliable. So she thinks she can manage to do this for a while, it has no long term prospects because in a year or two any person would be ground down by having to sell your body to any piece of scum you get told to.

I can't imagine a single dad of 2 children taking this route.

^

Helpful comment of the year award.

If you failed at recruitment, then you obviously didn't try hard enough.

Haahaa! Actually, I didn't fail at it, I thought it was a shit job full of utter twats so I found something else and it's very obvious what an obnoxious job choice it is by your posts alone. You're shoving your agenda on what's a good job choice on some random person who never asked for such. Says it all about recruitment, OP!

Don't see where sex work is any more shameful just because a person has kids.

Not sure I would want myself plastered online for my children and their friends to see either.

I did. You have to have sex with them. Nobody is going to pay you that much for talking, sorry. Even if you find them physically revolting, you've got to, because they've paid, and you have to pretend to enjoy it.
Have a look at UK punting and read reviews on there. That's what kind of thing you're going to be expected to do and that's how they're going to review you.
I had a pimp who made me work through agencies and adult work, the owners knew and didn't care. Also they never vetted clients, just took the address and phone number. They had no idea who they were sending us to. As long as they got the money they didn't care about us at all. I worked in several in London and one in the North, and they were the same, just wanted money.
Clients try to not pay, they haggle, they try to steal the money back, they try to make you do things you don't want to, they try to have unprotected sex, they push boundaries. It can be quick money but it's really, really not easy money.

Don't see where sex work is any more shameful just because a person has kids.

Really, you don't think it would shame your children if their friends found out what your mother did for a living?

PlumpSyrianHamster, it is no more shameful when a person has children but children must be protected. I didn't have any then so didn't apply to me but I was so different when I became a mother, I can't imagine I would ever have done. However the op is a single mum and people have to do what can to make ends meet.

OP, don't ever let your children's friend's parents find out, people are so judgemental as evidenced by some of the posts on here. Keep it completely private and make sure you are looked after. Look after yourself too!

Adora, you make a good point. When I did it, there was no internet so clients had to take pot luck about what the escort was like. The agency always gave a good description of looks and personality over the phone. I certainly wouldn't have wanted my photograph published anywhere. Everything has changed since the internet.

So your not really bothered about the effect on your kids then because it will be an hour and a half away so no one will find out right ? Hmm till your DD/DS headteacher shows up

I’ll say it once more for people who can’t seem to read. I’m not interested in opinions, I’m looking for advice! To be quite honest, you people being telling me it’s shameful and my kids deserve better... my kids haven’t had a single holiday with me. They got no presents last year. I couldn’t afford milk and bread last week. For the past 4 and a half years I have worked my arse off, I’ve taken on multiple jobs, we’ve been homeless, we’ve had to make do without heating... I don’t give 2 craps if YOU couldn’t do it, maybe You haven’t been that desperate... but I’m not about to write off s job that could literally change our lives, for the sake of other people’s judgement. Thank you everyone for your advice who posted it x

Escorting is a nice word for prostitution. It's legal to run a business matching people up for company, it isn't legal to run a business matching up men to prostitutes. Hence why they say if it happens then it happens, they can't tell you to sleep with them as that would be illegal. It's very naive to think they would keep you on if you ever said no to any act.

job that could literally change our lives

For the worse.

Go for it. You won't do something that doesn't have such high risks.

Get over yourself OP, you were purposely implying escorting was fine and dandy, that's why you got the back lash.

You can't afford milk and break, seriously you need to go to CAB to find out about benefits etc,...

Iv given you advice from what iv seen a child have to go through because his mother was an escort, if you have struggled for so long why not go back to college and get a career? Do this for a year and save save save then go back to college. Don't do it long term and you will be fine.

While I can appreciate that you are really struggling financially, there is better ways to make money where you still keep your dignity.

You say you are doing this for your children but what kind of example are you setting them by getting involved in this? Go back to education, train for a specific career and be an inspiration to your children. Nothing worth having in life comes easy!

there is better ways to make money where you still keep your dignity

Absolutely!

I did it for a decade. You will definitely have to have sexual contact with every single client you see. Some may not want full sex but they will ALL want naked foreplay etc. I could count on one hand the amount of attractive guys I saw in that time frame. Most of them were hideous, old enough to be my dad/grandad or young jack the lads with no respect. Hygiene was also a major issue and even after I would get them to shower they would still stink down below and be expecting a blow job. Would you feel assertive in those sorts of situations to stand up for yourself?

I would strongly recommend you don’t use an agency. 99% of them talk total bollocks and try and lure naive women onto their books by promising lots of lengthy bookings with well paying clients who may or may not want sex and are happy to spend 4 hours chatting to you in a fancy restaurant. It’s total crap and please don’t fall for it.

I would suggest making your own profile on adultwork (the site that the majority of clients use when booking escorts) and book yourself into a hotel for a few days (check out the touring section and hotel review section on SAAFE.co.uk which will give you advice on lots of hotels that are workable in your area or close by. Some hotels also offer day rooms if you can’t afford to currently pay for more than that. You would only need one 30 minute booking and it would be paid for so you aren’t losing any money if you end up being quiet.

Always get cash up front.
Never tell clients you are brand new or they will take advantage.
Don’t give out your address/room number until you know that they are in close proximity.
Make sure you set yourself up with HMRC to pay tax on your earnings as you don’t want to get caught not doing so and getting lumped with a huge bill from them (you can declare yourself as something like a self employed masseuse on the form).

You can make very good money doing it (1k a week should be easily achievable for just a few hours of work) but it’s definitely not a pleasant job and I personally hated it.
Good luck whatever you decide to do

"Like I said, I’m not interested in people’s judgements, I’m simply looking to talk to someone who has actual experience in the industry so I can hear the realities of it."

With all due respect OP, why have you posted on the relationship section of mumsnet? There must be other more relevant sections/websites where you can ask for advice.

And yes, you can do better. You should be thankful for all the advice people are trying to give you here to show you there are other ways.

You say you're doing this for your children. I would die from mortification if I found out my mother was having sex with random, repulsive men. I'd rather go without presents or holidays.

You clearly need more support. Go to Citizen's Advice, you need to speak to your local council etc. Get an honest paying job, one where you can preserve your dignity.

Seriously, best of luck to you and your children

HJWT, if the op is 'out' and bumps into her children's headteacher, they won't think anything of seeing her having a drink or a meal with a friend. They aren't going to see her in bed with the client!

Of course, if headteacher turns out to be the client........I doubt he'll be telling anyone :-).

There is no reason for anyone to find out if she is careful.

I was coerced into doing this by an ex. Luckily it didn't last as when with my second client (who was also my first, so I thought he was legit) threatened me with rape and then murder. He had no money with him either. I clutched that knife so fucking tightly in my bag and cried hysterically until he eventually took me back. That's the reality of it.
However I wasn't through an agency and did it independently. It was dangerous, seedy and made me feel completely worthless.
I wouldn't recommend OP. How about sex phone lines? Don't they pay well?

Someone raises a good point about having kids and doing this.

If you were to get pulled over by the cops, the first thing they would do is tell child protection, because if safeguarding. It's police protocol, doesn't matter what anyone thinks, if a cop discovers your a sex worker of some kind, with a DC,. You are well and truly fucked.

Social services will go straight to child protection with immediate care order because if your lifestyle Plain and simple.

If on the other hand the school gets wind complains to social services, they will be around investigating, if they get even a smidge of evidence your escorting again DC straight into care. This is one if the things they don't fuck around with. Because things can be really seedy once a John knows you have a kid. Which they will because they'll go through your purse. and your bag.

It's a tough gig, the only people who make money are the agencies and pimps. The only people who have fun are the Johns.

Also let's be seriously realistic anal and oral gonorreah are now at epidemic proportions in city based GUM clinics as well as antibiotic resistant std's. How many Johns are going to be prepared to rubber up after shelling out £150 for a cim.

Do what someone suggested have a look at punters.net, these are the nice, well respected, family men who are posting reviews. Have a look at the glossary of terms at exactly what will be expected.

Love, your in catch 22, fucked if you do, fucked if you don't.

The first thing you must do is be tough, be protected and keep your eyes open.

I considered it when I was younger. I personally wouldn’t do it unless you’re in London. As that’s where the money for non-sexual high end escort services is. It also pays to know a second language. Even average / below average looking friends who escorted managed to pay their way through university by charging £500 a pop for events where their client needed a fake girlfriend / translator.