Who has worked in escorting?

[Ely7891]

I’m a single mum with little support system, I can barely afford to keep the roof over our heads. I’m seriously considering escorting, a high end agency want to meet with me to discuss it further. It’s run by a young female, their booking procedure for new clients is rigorous and these guys are paying hundreds.. so far it seems as safe a way to do this. Until then I want to hear from women who have done this. Not interested in hearing judgement; I’ve scraped by for 4 years, I’ve worked hard, I’ve taken further training, I’ve moved houses, I’ve sold my possessions, I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas. I can NOT get ahead of myself and now I’m in debt. I want to take charge back of my life and if this is the way to go, so be it. So please if any ladies out there who have experience, I’d be very grateful for your insight. Thank you x

I dont have any experience myself but I was very good friends with someone in a similar jobs. She told me everything and it is TRUE that lonely men with a big bank balance DO pay escorts just for their time and not expect sexual favours. I am not saying its all customers but she had a regular Saturday evening with one man in his late 70's and they would go to restaurants, cinema, theatre together, whatever he wanted to do, he would pay her very generously for her time and then she would go home to her family. You do what you think you need/want to do and ignore the judgements of randoms! Be safe!

Social services will go straight to child protection with immediate care order because if your lifestyle Plain and simple. If on the other hand the school gets wind complains to social services, they will be around investigating, if they get even a smidge of evidence your escorting again DC straight into care. This is one if the things they don't fuck around with

Uh, no. I'm a social worker and that's definitely not true. Obviously if you were bringing johns to the house with children at home or leaving the kids home alone then that is extremely high risk but there is no 'automatic care order' for sex workers.

If you were homeless then you could have got social housing with children, and support.

You haven't answered what work you're actually doing now though. I know people who earn a decent wage and can afford holidays working in retail or supermarkets, and they aren't putting themselves and their children at risk.

There's no reason for anyone to know if the op is escorting, apart from those she meets through the job and they aren't going to blab.

She won't be doing it forever.

NotANotMan

The women I did outreach with in Forest Gate and Manor Park, felt very differently and I'm echoing their experiences. They felt very very harassed by social services more so than by the cops. Admittedly, they had many other issues too, than the way they made a crust

To get down to brass tacks (No pun intended) You will be reviewed like a piece of meat on punting forums. Guys will try to find out information and stalk you on social media, or kill you with kindness to date you and get to date a hooker and not have to pay for the sex. Some guys may be into choking or extreme taboo's. Make sure you always have condoms. Some guys in extreme circumstances may have pregnancy fantasies and sabotage the contraception, some will try to take their condoms off or may offer to use their own condoms and they could be HIV positive and wish to infect you.
There no point in pretending this stuff doesn't exist, fore warned is to be fore armed. The money can be good, get good at faking it and remember safety safety safety. And for the love of god get the money up front NEVER NEVER let them say they'll settle up afterwards. they wont pay and you'll feel as if you've been violated. Guys will walk in and not even bother to take their wedding rings off.
Take every precaution, don't be naive and get a backbone from day one. PM if you have any questions or want to pick my brain.

So where are your children going to be when you do this? Can't whatever childcare you use for that (school or whatever) be used for working at something else?

The women I did outreach with in Forest Gate and Manor Park, felt very differently and I'm echoing their experiences. They felt very very harassed by social services more so than by the cops. Admittedly, they had many other issues too, than the way they made a crust

So you're scaremongering and posting falsehoods as if they are fact based on the subjective experiences of (street based?) prostituted women who by your own admission had many more issues than just sex working? Sounds reasonable

I did it briefly as a student- I was in quite a wealthy area and you did get some clients who would pay a few hundred a night. Most didn't pay quite this much but the money was still fairly good. No sexual assault, it was pre agreed before hand what would happen. There were a couple of incidents of somebody overstepping the line after a few too many drinks but we were in quite a public place so it was easy to stop. You do have to be very careful though- make sure you establish with them what they're paying you for.
I don't regret doing it, money wise it was a lifesaver.

I'm an escort but not with an agency as I won't work for any pimp. And let's be honest, this is what they are.

Yes, they may vet them, but it's also something you can do yourself. Saafe is a good place to start to get the info. But there are still risks even with an agency. Plus if you talk to those that have used or still using agencies they can get very demanding about you seeing clients. As well as their cut (which 30% is an awful lot) they can also make you pay for their driver that they insist you use and portfolio pictures (which from experience John's prefer natural, unbrushed stuff).

You say you would be doing Incalls - so is this to yours or their place? Their place if there is more than you then it's considered a brothel and you are committing a crime.

Someone said bunging hotel staff a bribe I work hotels a lot (outcall) and never bunged anyone anything. I show up and meet the client and leave. I don't even see staff as you nor the John ever go to the reception. When I use them for incalls when I tour, never bunged anyone anything, clients get the room number at a certain time and come straight up or we meet in the bar or outside.

You are naive if you think that the time won't include sex. It's very rare that guys pay someone for conversation and a meal. I'm not saying it never happens but it's very rare. Can you sleep with an overweight, sweaty person? Old guys? Suck their cocks? Rim them? Agencies and sites like adultwork cannot promote sex work, hence they are paying for your time. What happens during this time is up to the two (or more) consenting adults.

I won't do overnights. This comes with added risks even with the vetted agency guy. They can rob you as you sleep (it happens). And at worse they can slip in when you sleep, going bareback and putting your health at risk.

Johns are very critical about escorts and the services they expect. They have a forum dedicated to giving FB and can be very critical, have a read on ukpunting. Could you read critical stuff about your services and not get defensive? As this riles them up further. And yes they also review agency escorts.

If you go indie, read everything on saafe. There are good tips on how to vet. And always, always take cash up front. Don't agree to payment after or a bank transfer.

Money wise - agencies escorts are very expensive. John's are a mixed bunch. Some like the agencies because they are guaranteed services on the escorts profile. Yes, you will have to state your sexual likes. Limited accounts get paid less because they aren't seen as value for money. Escorts with limited likes also get fewer bookings. Even with an agency, there is no guarantee that you will make cash every week. They will claim that they do, but they really cannot as they don't know the clients' funds. You will also have to factor in your periods unless you are going to use a sponge or something, you are effectively unworkable as they won't pay high fees for a bj when the local escort offers this for £50. I clear about 3k a month after expenses (a decent range of condoms, lube, water massage stuff, travel, hotels, clothing and food/drink when touring, plus money for the taxman).

It can be lonely. As you have seen people are judgemental about this work. So if you tell friends/family not only do you have to trust they aren't judgemental but that they won't out you. I'm very lucky in this sense as my friends are very open minded.

Find a local GUM clinic and be honest about what you do if you start. They will give you a full screening each time. Even with the use of condoms, you have to be careful as herpes, for example, is a risk. Any offers of bareback run, they will tell you they are clean, even show papers that they are clean. This doesn't cover incubation periods for HIV and chlamydia for example. Nor does it cover then fucking someone since they were tested and contracted something. STD's are rare as long as you take precautions, we aren't all diseased riddled lol.

Realistically what would you do if a John got violent either physically or sexually? This is a risk we face constantly regardless of indie or agency.

You will also need a watertight cover story to explain your income to those around you.

Oh, and you don't have to have your picture plastered everywhere as someone suggested. I don't have my face just my body.

Agree about social media. Some men will try anything to find out who you really are. One used facial recognition and found me on Facebook and sent my brothers links to my adult work profile. He was a seemingly normal man, wife, two children, good job.
Agencies will often use fake photos to advertise you but then that can make men angry when they see you and you're not what they were expecting.

Another thing I forgot to mention that happened incredibly frequently to me was clients who let their feelings and imagination run away with them during bookings. It was my job to pretend like I was having a brilliant time and to fake orgasms and give them lots of compliments etc. A lot of them would take this to mean that I genuinely fancied them and would be up for seeing them for free next time, or that i’d want to date them for real. It was mentally draining having to deal with idiots like that and I must have blocked hundreds of them on my work phone over the years

Itrynottobutsonetimesifail - why would the op or any other escort disclose they are an escort if pulled over? We aren't in the car with a John, we either show up to their location or they come to ours. (Although I do have a reg who meets me from the station and we drive to his. I don't have any id on me because obviously, I don't use my real name). It's the street hookers that get into cars constantly.

Like I said. I am honest about I do this. When I go GUM I give my real name. When I was in the hospital last year I was honest. I don't have SS involvement at all. But then why would they? My kids are well cared for. They don't come with me. I don't have guys back here. Any calls are restricted when they are around and I initiate text when I cannot talk. My profile isn't obvious that it's me. I have another number, email and social media accounts linked to my escorting. My laptop is for my use only, and the rare times the kids have used it, I have another user set for them.

I don't think it's the risk of assault that is the only issue and I write as someone that has seen the destruction of this profession on a family member. It's a very stigmatised profession and although I do not judge you and can understand how hard things must be, other people will. The world can be a cruel place so keep in mind that if you're ever involved in a legal, police, custody, divorce matter or if your profession ever comes up with health professionals or people find out, you will be treated differently. I wish this wasn't the case and I loathe the judgment of people but you need to know this. Prostitution in any form, is one of the most marginalised professions and groups. I do not think you will be aware of how destructive this job is to your confidence, mental health and sense of self. It is something that will happen gradually and after you've succumbed to the money and lifestyle and find it difficult to leave.

My heart goes out to you and I hope you find an answer.

If you have little support system who's going to look after the baby? If you're a single parent you're entitled to childcare costs and I can't imagine many childcare providers looking after the baby from 8pm - midnight/2am . Why would you be choosing this over a 'proper' job? My friend is an escort. She asked me if I would ever do it (because apparently I would be great at it) my response was that I don't want a bad reputation. The career I'm moving into is a very professional respected career which it would definitely impact on if anyone found out. When people found out about her escorting everyone mocked her/posted the links to her page online/ told her family etc and she was pretty embarrassed about it.

Oh gosh yea the emotionally attached (EA) such a drain on us. No better than the time wasters. You quickly find your block list has run into thousands. The lonely ones who email/text you to tell you about their lives. Oh and the cock pictures in the hopes you will send them some pictures of you for free. Or just to ask if you can handle it (seen some ridiculous photoshopped ones)

They don't like you being in a relationship. But then say you're single and they latch onto that and talk about dating. I tell them straight I am not interested in a relationship casually or longterm. Some accept, but others still try.

OP you will have to have some form of sex with every client you see. I've had one booking in 3 years where we didn't have sexual contact and that was because he had ASD and couldn't bring himself to break through his shyness barrier.

My friend has had two occasions where she's seen a guy in the early hours who's high on coke and just wants to talk about himself for an hour.

You will have to have sex or they will take the money back, by force if necessary. Do not put yourself in a room with a man you're not prepared to have sex with.

One piece of advice someone gave me is: go to a pub, buy a drink, sit down and look at every man in there. Fat, skinny, short, gangly, old, scarred, disabled, mouth-breathers.... Can you imagine having sex with all of them and doing so happily (for money)? If you can't, sex work is not for you. You have to be able to see past someone's appearance and see them as a human being with sexual needs that you are happy to provide.

My two favourite clients:

1. Morbidly obese, has major mobility issues, early 60s
2. Tall and skinny with extensive facial and body scarring, mid 40s

Young lads who think they're fit? No thanks, I'll take the good quality sex and good conversation any day!

OP as well as regular STI testing, get yourself on PrEP. This will ensure you do not contract HIV, and has been proven more effective than condoms alone. It’s 1 pill a day.

It’s different depending on where you live, but in England it is hoped that the free PrEP trial will be doubled to 26,000 places, so good timing for you. There is a lot of work being done in raising awareness of this - though more could be done for ‘at risk’ women.

Ask at your clinic or google online www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-46653462

Oh and mentions of partying avoid.
Trying to get a coked-up guy to cum is very difficult. But to them it's not the coke it's you and get turn nasty very quickly. I don't work nights because of this and alcohol. After 7 pm I only see regs.

I did see a coke guy who did just want to talk when I arrived. However, towards the end, he turned nasty. He booked me to talk to me, to get to know me a bit more before subsequent bookings. He never mentioned coke. He didn't want to waste my time playing ping pong text, or chatting over the phone. He wanted to make sure I was properly paid for my time. When he turned luckily we were outside at this point

@Ely7891 I get your going through hard times at 18 I was a stripper I had a lo and a partner who couldn't keep a job nor look after lo very well.
I was so grumpy after my nights and though I don't regret what I did and the reason, for some reason years later I keep having flash backs of the creeps. Not all the guys or ladies. But the bad one haunted my dreams for a a few years. Even though at the time I didn't care.
What ever you do you need to be safe. I never offered extra, never drunk alcohol, never when need drugs. Had a back story for when they asked questions. I was young but I wasn't stupid.
Now I couldn't do it again, don't have the energy- because it is hard, just having the strength to listen to the same bs from some about their hard day and mean wife, laughing at jokes that aren't funny. Then there's the dressing up and the judgement from others.
If my dc ever find out I know I will be able to explain it because I have that great relationship with them but other may not plus I was so young at the time, I know my dc with understand why as they have watched me work the long hours since I'm crap jobs.

Name-changed and switched from a regular long-standing account. I have worked both independently and for agencies some years ago. Let’s not bullshit about escorting being about clients taking you to a restaurant as company. While some longer bookings will perhaps include dinner, sex is always expected and this is what a client books you for. Outcalls just mean that you will visit clients in their home or at a hotel. The best advice so far was to head to SAAFE, a website that gives advice to sex workers run by sex workers. Some escorts only ever do outcalls but you tend to get more work offering in-calls, which means you have clients come to you. Most escorts tend to rent, sublet a place/room from other sex workers or book a hotel room. Often there are options to rent a ‘working space’ on an ad-hoc hourly basis. Despite all the usual disclaimers and misnomers about escorting being purely dinner dates and the rest taking place between consenting adults, anyone running such an agency is breaking the law. Whereas if you work by yourself, at least, in the UK, it is perfectly legal for you to provide sex for money.

Do not ever assume that the agency will actually vet or provide any safe introduction to a client. They do very little in that respect and you should never believe that even a regular client is totally safe or will not rip you off. Agencies generally just provide the advertising and appointment making, few are truly giving a shit about your safety despite their claims. Do not give them your real name or show them any ID. Ditto for photos that can identify you. Some make a great show about asking for details for their books. That is bullshit, they are not operating a legal business and in any case, you ‘free-lancing’ and they are earning from you, doing very little for their cut. No matter what some sources might tell you, money first, count it, check it is not forged and cash only. If you want to test the waters, you could even register and fill out a profile on Adult Work. Be warned though, as a newbie you will attract a lot of time wasters and chancers who scour the site for someone they can con. On that site there are also place advertised to work from but again be cautious about some guys trying to take advantage. Be also wary of fellow escorts on that site too who might offer to ‘take you under their wings…’, most are just trying to get a cut from you for something that you can do by yourself.

It isn’t just about the ick factor of sleeping with someone who you are not attracted to though. Many of the other sex workers did actually come from a nursing background and were fed up with low wages and not easily grossed out. It can take quite an emotional toll. I stopped soon enough but was close to a burn-out. The hardest part was the ego massage of fragile male egos. The most vulnerable are those who are too desperate to earn money. You need to always listen to your gut instinct. Walk away and cancel anyone who pushes your boundaries in their initial contact. If they are unwilling to stick to some basic requirements to book you in their initial contact then they are likely to be a real nightmare when you actually meet them. I had quite a high refusal rate and luckily never got robbed or physically hurt. The only times I got ripped off was by other sex workers when I sublet my working space. I’d keep contact to other sex workers friendly but minimal and do not divulge any personal information to any client or other sex workers. Stick to a working name and keep your private life strictly private. This means keeping social media on lock-down and completely separate. Do not use any photos, even cropped that have identifying locations etc. Do not discuss any personal aspect, in fact, best invent a completely different persona. Even the nicest client can become too attached and become a liability. You need to be able to stop working without anyone being able to trace you from that industry.

Bloody hell, it's like working covertly for the secret service.

I'm sorry for anyone forced to go into this kind of work. No one should, not in a country such as this. I assume the DC father isn't around to help pay his children's way.

Please keep safe, OP. The men won't care for your well-being.

Not all guys are the same. Yea there are some utter arseholes, but there are some absolute stars out there who do care for your well-being. But the key is to not get involved and reveal too much. I had to disclose hospital stays when I cancelled clients as I couldn't think on the spot and think of something reasonable. Not only were they understanding but I also had several ask if I wanted anything bringing over. Obviously, I refused as this would have been stepping over boundaries.

I wasn't forced. It's my free choice to do this. Before this, I was giving it away anyway with casual hook-ups through various sites. And one day thought fuck it why not make a bit of cash out of it. Tbh wish I had started years ago.

Oh and another tip. Take time out for yourself. This is very, very important it helps to prevent burnout. If you don't feel like working that day, then don't. Get yourself to the gym and eat healthily (they can be scathing about body shape even though they aren't gods themselves!!)
Have a clear set of things you are comfortable with and stick to them. There are some guys who will try and push your limits. You have to be confident to say actually no. Sometimes this is easier as it's mentioned in the original comms, but other times it's when you are in their company. They even come out with things like others do it, I explain nicely to fuck off and see them then.

You have to be assertive and go in with your eyes wide open. Forget the shite from pretty woman. It's about sex from oral all the way down to footjobs. There's hardly any going for meals. Shopping trips haha you need a sugar daddy. Talking of which someone mentioned seeking arrangements. This is used by guys who are too cheap to pay for a local escort. Yes, the first meeting usually involves food/drink but they don't want to pay a decent rate for your time and think that this cheap ass rate should also apply to all subsequent meets. I was on there for several months and these cheap asses think it's fine to offer £40 per hour when the average local escort is £100 ph. Suggested more than once to just go and see a street hooker lol.

Why the fuck is this thread on the relationships board? Ffs.
No advice for you op. Except maybe move this from a board heavily frequented by women rebuilding their lives after the devastation of cheating husbands often that have paid sex workers.

It's not for me as I can't stand men at the best of times let alone with their hands all over me but my friend does it, she is in her mid 30's and certainly makes great money.
She says you need a thick skin though as most of her new clients are arseholes although the regulars are ok. She's been doing it a while so has quite a lot of regulars.