Who has worked in escorting?

[Ely7891]

I’m a single mum with little support system, I can barely afford to keep the roof over our heads. I’m seriously considering escorting, a high end agency want to meet with me to discuss it further. It’s run by a young female, their booking procedure for new clients is rigorous and these guys are paying hundreds.. so far it seems as safe a way to do this. Until then I want to hear from women who have done this. Not interested in hearing judgement; I’ve scraped by for 4 years, I’ve worked hard, I’ve taken further training, I’ve moved houses, I’ve sold my possessions, I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas. I can NOT get ahead of myself and now I’m in debt. I want to take charge back of my life and if this is the way to go, so be it. So please if any ladies out there who have experience, I’d be very grateful for your insight. Thank you x

I have never, and will never, dismiss the abuse that happens to some in this industry, but this is caused by coercion and trafficking, rather than prostitution in itself.

There is an entire side to the industry that most people do not see (or are unwilling to look at), where privileged/lucky workers see normal clients, who they are able to screen. The abusive/unpleasant/hobbyist types that are rejected by us will unfortunately end up seeing the most vulnerable people in the industry, because these poor people are not always (or are never) able to say no. When I, and other prostitutes, say that we are happy doing this job and have chosen it we are not trying to minimise or hide the terrible abuse that some suffer, we are saying that trafficking and coercion is the problem, rather than paid sex.

I completely agree that coercion and trafficking must be stopped, and I completely agree that no one should be in a position where they have no choice but to be a sex worker.

But there are a huge amount of people who choose to be prostitutes.

sillage none of the sex workers on here have said they speak for all prostitutes - rather they have given their own opinion, what works for them and mentioning pitfalls and things they are very careful about. If you read the whole thread there have been quite a few experiences given, and really with no reason to lie.

It would be really good if you could match the respect they have shown towards you. Sarcasm is never helpful in discussion.

I have done it. I regret it each day.
I did it for about 6 months when I had some money troubles and most of the men were okay. A lot were not. I was raped anally and held back the tears often whilst with certain men because they were disrespectful or just vile and made me feel sick.
Some men were lovely and respectful and they were fine.
I look back now and it doesn't even feel like it was me.

Sidestepping my calls for evidence with a demand to be nicer by not asking why the personal testimonies here are so at odds with all available evidence doesn't work for me.

I want to know the rapist screening questions BoglingToAswad uses to keep herself safe. Think of how many rapes could be avoided if she shared her foolproof rape prevention secrets with the rest of us trying to negotiate living our lives with men who seek to harm us.

"that trafficking and coercion is the problem,"

I'm pretty sure The Problem is the widespread refusal to attach men and the choices men make to the nebulous horrors of "trafficking and coercion". The vast majority of johns are not decent, conscientious gentlemen sex-buyers, and saying they are as BoglingToAswad has is an intentional erasure of men as the agents who continue to make prostitution a global institution of extreme and deadly sexual violence.

IwearmakeuponThursdays, I'm sorry you had to endure such terrifying violence. It's a good reminder that not being be raped on Mondays and Tuesdays is no where near the equivalent to being raped on Thursdays and Fridays.

I bet compost is a UKpunting user.

@IwearmakeuponThursdays I'm sorry you had to go through that and I really hope things are better for you now

@Fiddie - life is amazing now, thank you. This was roughly 8 years ago. I now have a wonderful partner and DD and no money worries.

I still get flashbacks and feel vile with myself for doing it. No one knows I did it apart from my DP so it is easy to pretend it didn't even happen.

The op is not planning to pick men up on the street, jump in and out of cars or 'entertain' them at home. I presume she intends to meet clients in hotel foyers, have a drink and talk and size them up before going to the bedroom. That's what I did, also told one discreet, reliable person where I was going including the room number, the client knew I did that & was happy with it. I also had a driver. That was the norm.

IwearmakeuponThursdays, I am so, so sorry you had such a bad experience. .

I have got no reason to lie. I have mentioned some of the sites several times. There is a lot of discussion around this in open and closed forums on sites. A lot of Johns wont go with someone who does BB or associates with someone who does.
I didn't claim that this never happens and that all do it. I said some.

I am not the only person on here who has talked about the sites and the reviews. Or profiles. Of course, there are some that offer things but don't advertise, and this gets mentioned in reviews or on the forums to alert others.

Statistics will vary by country. It does happen in this coutry, those that do it do.

Good point, NotaNotMan. I believe that women who enter into this with the 'just like a one night stand, except I get paid for it' argument in their head, are naive.

deepwatersolo I was replying to that. I have posted on this thread and others, that I was having one night stands and thought fuck it might as well get paid for it.

I was reading posts on the saafe forum and some said it is difficult to get out of prostitution, that it is in some ways addictive. That made me think.

As I have already said, I did it for a while when I was young. When I wanted to pack up, I did, no problem. However there has always been a little bit of me that hankers after it. Obviously I wouldn't work as a prostitute now, I'm long time married and a mother, etc, and don't need the money but when I remember getting myself nicely done up to go out, the anticipation, etc, plus being so well paid, there's a buzz of excitement. So I understand how it is difficult for some women to give it up, the independence for a start, the money, working hours that suit, meeting different people, being admired and having a secret life.

I think it is a good thing that I didn't do it for long, I might well have found it hard to stop. It's something the op should bear in mind.

Fiddie, I can assure you I have been totally honest.

Good for you never having had a one night stand btw, I had a couple back in the day and actually found it quite hurtful, didn't know why I'd done it.

Prostitution is different. You have a verbal contract and are paid. If you are lucky you have the company of a nice, considerate man for a short while and if he turns out to be a bore, you have no obligation to see him again. Either way you're earning more money than you would as a secretary.

PS: Fiddie, is that name short for Fidelis?

Fuck me, @compostcorner's posts (shuddering at 'naked cuddle' ) & that tumblr uk punting link make for harrowing bedtime reading.

OP you say it won't be for long, but why? You say you have no other job prospects, what do you plan to do after this? Seems like a cycle I wouldn't want to start personally.

And whilst I sympathise with your situation, I'm struggling to understand how you're not entitled to help if things are as dire as you suggest financially.

I want to know the rapist screening questions BoglingToAswad uses to keep herself safe

Even though this forum is anonymous, I am clearly not going to detail my screening and security processes in a public place.

Sidestepping my calls for evidence with a demand to be nicer by not asking why the personal testimonies here are so at odds with all available evidence doesn't work for me.

Firstly, there is a difference between genuinely asking why our experiences do not match evidence that you have seen, and accusing us of lying. Secondly, all available evidence does not support your point of view, sillage. Im not sure what sources you are looking at but I would suggest you look at something a little more neutral.

"I am clearly not going to detail my screening and security processes in a public place."

Why wouldn't you want to help other women avoid being raped?

@sillage

Because this is a public forum that punters can readily read, and then know how to pass screening whilst having bad intentions. Duh.

We discuss screening and security on forums which are dedicated to sex workers.

So a woman needs to find her way into secreted online communities to learn how to suss out rapist men from non-rapist men, and she must find these secreted online spaces through a path that can't be followed by punters?

I suppose that goes a ways towards explaining why prostituted women are the most raped women in the world.

@sillage
( i can't make my phone draw the exact quotes)

Noope. Totally googleable.

That is a bit like asking a locksmith how to unlock something, trade knowledge.

sillage .... “secret online communities/secreted online spaces” .....where has this been said? Read back to the answer already kindly given a few posts back by theworldistoosmall, who wrote:

”I have mentioned some of the sites several times. There is also a lot of discussion around this in open and closed sites on forums”.

From what I can see there has been nothing but advice and individual experience given on here - both good and bad - with places to go to for further advice. All stuff that I hope the OP will read. Everyone is entitled to their own level of privacy and whatever measures they personally put into place to protect themselves. Perhaps if you go back and read you might find what you are looking for.

Saafe.info does not have information on how to detect rapists.

"trade knowledge"

If prostituted women are hip to some Ancient Geisha Secret that they won't tell other women on how to avoid rapists then how come no demographic of women is raped and murdered more than prostituted women?

There is no Ancient Geisha Secret, not for any woman. The surest way for a woman to avoid being raped is to not become a prostitute, men especially target prostitutes.

World's oldest trade...

Op is long gone. Continuing to splutter outrage is pointless.

Why wouldn't you want to help other women avoid being raped?

So you are not able to understand that posting a list of my screening processes would basically be teaching potentially dangerous people how to get around them? If anyone thinking about sex work has seen this thread and wants advice they can PM me or one of the other prostitutes here. They can also ask on one of the sex work forums (which can be found on Google by the way) or PM people there.

The surest way for a woman to avoid being raped is to not become a prostitute, men especially target prostitutes.

Rapists target vulnerable people. Prostitutes are kept vulnerable not only by the law, but by ignorant attitudes like yours.

Rape is never the victims fault, even if she is a sex worker. Saying the "surest way for a woman to avoid being raped is to not become a prostitute" is victim blaming crap.

"Prostitutes are kept vulnerable not only by the law, but by ignorant attitudes like yours. "

No, men are to blame for rape, especially men with so little respect for women's dignity, health, and safety as to economically coerce sex from women.

See, what I think is victim-blaming is your false posturing as being somehow too smart to be raped. Like your choices have had anything to do with men not raping you the way they do less smart, less savvy, less competent women. Those dummies, don't they know if they were just smarter like you they wouldn't have gotten raped?

It's okay, I'll do what no punter in the history of the internet has ever thought of and make a fake account as a newbie hooker looking to get into the biz to learn how to stop men from raping me. And I will take that knowledge and use it to end all rape.