Who has worked in escorting?

[Ely7891]

I’m a single mum with little support system, I can barely afford to keep the roof over our heads. I’m seriously considering escorting, a high end agency want to meet with me to discuss it further. It’s run by a young female, their booking procedure for new clients is rigorous and these guys are paying hundreds.. so far it seems as safe a way to do this. Until then I want to hear from women who have done this. Not interested in hearing judgement; I’ve scraped by for 4 years, I’ve worked hard, I’ve taken further training, I’ve moved houses, I’ve sold my possessions, I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas. I can NOT get ahead of myself and now I’m in debt. I want to take charge back of my life and if this is the way to go, so be it. So please if any ladies out there who have experience, I’d be very grateful for your insight. Thank you x

composter - hey everyone, i had to change my log in details to get on here today,

Sounds like you may have been suspended or even banned. Ask MNHQ, not us.

I would choose sex work. I found office work incredibly dull and no amount of money would make it a pleasurable experience for me.

When/if this becomes unpleasurable for me I will stop and if this means I cannot retire in 7 years then it's not the end of the world. I will have the means to go SE in other fields. I could choose to go into something else now, but why should I when at the moment I am enjoying my life?

The ones you say who go on about the woman being pimped, they have empathy, etc. they still had sex with her knowing she was not really wanting to have it. That is still revolting.

There were other reviews on other sites about women unenthusiastic, likely trafficked and the men still slept with them despite thinking this.

It's great you enjoy it, but you are going to be in the minority and it's still a risk to your future mental health. I don't think badly of you, but I do think that you saying how much you enjoy it allows men to kid themselves that people like my friend are enjoying it and they aren't harming her.

I am not responsible for other people like your friend though. I am responsible for myself and my well-being. I am not going to lie and say it's a shit job and I hate doing it to placate those who don't like it. As I have said many times if the day comes I get no satisfaction, as with previous jobs I will stop. Of course, the money is fab but it's not worth it if I am not enjoying it.

When I come across posts on Saafe or even uke from people saying they don't enjoy it I genuinely ask why they are doing it then. As do others, including Johns (uke). I talk with them and help them think about alternatives. Those of us with our heads screwed on are investing the money. Are using the money to further advance their employment options and studying. Setting up businesses outside of the sex industry etc.

I agree and have always done so that some guys are horrible. They are nasty guys in all walks of life. Same with some females. The good guys cannot be responsible for them although many do pull them up on their attitudes. I see it on uke and ukp. Some guys don't care, a lot however do and avoid the pimped ones, some ask why didn't they just walk. Some are derogatory in their reviews and postings, but honestly, those with our heads screwed on avoid these ones. There are lots more posts that are positive and complimentary with regards to the sex worker.

The other thing with the reviews. Many posters get banned because it turns out they are rival hookers or even their pimps. Or the guy used to be a reg and the hooker refused for whatever reason to no longer see him, so he posts shit about her and the really idiotic ones alert to hooker to this beforehand.

It's not an industry for everyone. You have to go in with your head screwed on. It's not like what you see on tv. You have to be assertive. Have boundaries and the balls to stick to them. You have to enjoy the actual job not just be motivated with the cash. And if cash is the only motivation then, of course, the person isn't going to enjoy it, same with any industry. So this leads to the question of why are they still doing it? Why haven't they invested in themselves to improve their employment availability?

I mentioned upthread to the OP to consider taking PrEP if going into escort work.

Out of interest, is there enough knowledge about this (and PEP) in the industry in general of female sex workers? And even if condoms are always worn do they still use it just in case of breakage?

I cannot speak for everyone. However, PrEP is getting discussed more. I still use condoms though as there are of course other std's that I could get. I take my sexual health extremely serious to the point I don't use oil-based products around condoms, massage stuff is water-based. I have a pack of wipes with me that I use to wipe the cock if I have given oral, before I put on the condom as I don't want to risk the oil in lip balm or lipsticks impacting the condom. I also give my hands a wipe (different wipe lol). This also encourages them to give their hands a wipe. I also provide all condoms. I carry a variety of sizes etc and all kept in metal condom holders to protect from damage.

And of course PrEP doesn't protect against pregnancy. Now that would make for interesting headlines!! Not everyone for whatever reasons uses other forms of birth control.

Little things like this are often overlooked outside the sex industry and wonder why the condom broke.

We have to be careful. An outbreak of chlamydia, thrush etc impacts the ability to work. This is something that those who are fucking around a lot outside this work don't have to think about.

Oh and males in the industry are also aware of PrEP. It was a random male escort who brought it to my attention last year.

Sorry haha, and if the sw didn't use a condom a lot of Johns wouldn't book her. Most are heavily critical, just as we are, about hookers who go bareback (BB). There's usually lots of debate about porn stars who escort because of the bb thing, and although they use condoms with Johns many question is it really worth the risk?
Some won't book with someone who has seen a John who has seen a hooker who provides bb. (yes some Johns really put a lot of research into who they book).

Well if you want to do it- do it.

I personally wouldn't, not even for all the money in the world. It's the ick factor that puts me off. Sleeping with random, not knowing if they're clean, the smells. Gross! I o my like sex with 1 person in a committed relationship.

It's a bit worrying that you would do this as you have children. If you're happy for your daughter to do this? Or your son to buy a woman's body?

That’s interesting and really good to know, especially about Johns not booking sws who do bareback. I think BB is more a MSM (men who have sex with men) thing, though might be wrong

Some porn stars work quite hard in raising awareness of HIV and being HIV+ and undetectable on meds, therefore no risk, and also promoting PrEP - even made explicit videos to demonstrate it! Some sex workers, both male and female, are upfront and open in what they do, and take part in charity events to raise awareness of HIV and safe measures used.

Oil in lipbalm etc had never occurred to me - must remember that! I’m sure it must be reassuring on both sides in observing such good hygiene.

I follow a lot of HIV related stuff and in some of the training I did I learnt quite a bit about PrEP.

Re getting pregnant, well you never know - there might be a PEP/morning after pill in the future!! While of course there are other STIs, PrEP is actually more effective than condoms in preventing HIV.

PrEP places on the trial in England are mostly filled for MSM, whereas there are still many places for women and transgender people. That’s why I wondered how aware they were.

You're definitely in a more privileged position than most if you can give it up when you're tired of it and pursue self employment in other areas. Not really a choice for many others sadly.

Yes I am aware of that. I live within my means and save for the future plus treats. However, not everyone is in it because they are at rock bottom or have an addiction. Many of us are level headed and have a plan.

Of course, some should be given more support and help to battle it is whatever they are dealing with. But with the stigma and prejudice shown by some, I can see the instant barrier.

And it's these that get hurt the most with phrases used to tar the whole profession. How the hell are they going to ask for help when they will be demonised?

I am not saying you are naive for prefering sex work to one night stands, theworldistosmall. I am saying people who think is is the same just with money thrown in are naive.
It is very different regarding the dynamics. It is like the difference between a mountaineer and a mountain guide. Totally different game.

"Sorry haha, and if the sw didn't use a condom a lot of Johns wouldn't book her. Most are heavily critical, just as we are, about hookers who go bareback (BB)."

I think you're not being honest. I understand you need to protect yourself emotionally, but what you're saying doesn't match 1) what men who use prostitutes self-report about their prostitute use 2) what research done on prostitution in legalized nation says about men's prostitute use.

For instance, In legal prostitution in Australia, research based on sex workers found 20% of johns, 1 out of every 5, offered to pay more to not use a condom.

"Some won't book with someone who has seen a John who has seen a hooker who provides bb. (yes some Johns really put a lot of research into who they book)."

Are you suggesting there's a database tracking which johns used which prostitute that johns can reference before making their purchase?

Are you suggesting an informal network of sisters doing it for themselves who lovingly checking in with each other on what johns request and support other johns in their quest to select which prostitute to use on a given night?

And it's these that get hurt the most with phrases used to tar the whole profession. How the hell are they going to ask for help when they will be demonised?

Absolutely. While I, and all the prossies I know on a personal basis, are lucky enough to have chosen this work and are in control of it, there are some extremely vulnerable people in this industry. The social stigma and legal limitations (like not being able to work together) are inconvenient for us, but dangerous for them.

Even more annoying, is that people opposed to prostitution in general (rather than just being opposed to trafficking and coercion) blame us for their situation, and oppose full decrim which is the best option for making their situation safer.

I do understand why the prostitutes on here aren't being totally honest.

I get that and maybe it's easier that way.

I've never had a one night stand come to think about it so it probably wouldn't be the profession for me.

Can you afford to lose your kids respect OP? Because you will and they'll grow up thinking the very worst about men.

Sad that this is the way of the world but its the oldest game in the book and its going on everywhere around you because of webshites like adult net dot com.

I do understand why the prostitutes on here aren't being totally honest

Please stop being so patronising. I have no reason to lie on an anonymous forum.

I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas.

Really? I think that just over-egged the pudding.

Why would someone reasons for not being honest with strangers in person be negated once the interaction with strangers moves online?

If you truly believe, "all the prossies I know on a personal basis are lucky enough to have chosen this work and are in control of it," then I think it's fair to question such totalizing statements in light of what's known about coercion into prostitution, human trafficking, economic desperation, and the oft-stated beliefs of men who use prostitutes.

I do not believe every prostitute you know is 'lucky' to be large and in charge of her empowerfulled entrepreneur self with respectful johns and a bowl of cherries on the table.

Sillage I have no control over what you believe, and I do not think you would change your mind about either prostitutes or prostitution in general anyway.

I always try to be respectful of other people's opinions, even when I disagree or think that their opinions are dangerous, but that courtesy never seems to be extend to prostitutes.

When discussing prostitution with people who are of your opinion, it always seems to come to 'but you must be lying'. It's patronising and dismissive.

I don't disagree with you because you're a prostitute, I disagree because there are about 20 johns to every prostitute and their well-recorded negative opinions, violent behaviors, and power tripping through monetary extortion are what control prostitution.

I disagree with you because you make totalizing statements that don't make sense in light of the enormous pile of broken and dead women's bodies that prostitution leaves in its wake.

sillage - various SW sites have reviews and ratings much like Amazon or eBay, so yes

Aridane, if they exist, then can you link to one or two of them?

What a relief it must be to believe that men who pay for sex either can't use fake names or are such conscientious gentleman as to willingly choose not to deceive the prostitutes they're cheating on their wives with.

OP at least you are not out there leading random men on pretending to want a life with them when all you want is a bit of hard cash.

At least you are not cheating on partners leaving your husband who goes to work for you every day with nothing but a rented bedsit and a mcdonalds lunch with his kids every week whilst you take his pension because you needed to feel more valued by some old friend.

Hell a lot of people sacrifice their free time, their social lives, even their family relationships to an employer they despise for the sake of cash. No one tells them their time is sacred and they shouldn't sell it to capitalism.

Most people use transport and routinely do things which damage the planet, with little afterthought or responsibility for what is really sacred

Why people on here feel they can tell you what to do with your body god knows. When sex is a topic some people seem to think that only their views on it can possibly be true

My mate did this kind of work so its second hand information but would caution that it may look romantic and even be easy money for a while but things are not always as clear as they seem and the cost may be that you age more quickly than your years

Protect your identity at all times and read up on security. If you get outed which some people may think would be a fun thing to do to you it can have long consequences