Oh dear @Lovemusic33. 18. I’ve got one of them. Eurgh. I’m not sure I’d be up for sex talk or photo swapping with someone I hadn’t met (I just wouldn’t feel like it). In fact, I don’t even do that after 6 months (it’s not really my thing).
I don’t think there’s a too early after messaging. One of the 3 guys I met messaged me and after a few messages told me he was going to be near my work (it’s a big organisation, with multiple buildings so I didn’t feel weird about giving out that info - and with my job title it’s one or the other employer anyway) that lunchtime and wondered if I’d like a spontaneous coffee. He was nice but no chemistry (although he really liked me apparently).
It's been a lovely ego boost as felt like a poor catch after marriage went tits up so it's been nice to feel like I'm not undateable iykwim.
That’s a great thing. You are definitely a catch and I’m glad you feel like it.
Since splitting up with my ex, I’ve come to realise that I totally am a catch too. OLD did help with this and actually dating has too. I’m young looking for my age (someone yesterday genuinely thought I was 15 years younger than I am!), reasonably attractive, fit, interesting and knowledgeable, and have an accent people regularly comment on positively. I have a career/house/car/pension and do not need to rely on anyone else. I’ve got 2 kids but not enormous amounts of baggage with that (no divorce in process, or any other weird unresolved issues; neither is that young and one can babysit the other). I do have a horrible ex but we stick to our agreed contact and otherwise avoid each other.
It’s so easy to concentrate on what we thing are our downsides and forget that we are great. I’m sure all of us can make a list just like that of our positive qualities (which will all be different). The thing with OLD was it made me realise that loads of men just aren’t as good a ‘catch’ as I am. Tbh, my BF (wonderful though I think he is) just isn’t as much of a ‘catch’ as I am for various reasons (more complex and still unresolved situation, young kids, etc). 😆 But we a have to find someone we like and decide what compromises we can live with.
And, also, one person’s desirable characteristic is another’s nightmare. One thing I learned from OLD is that a lot of men (in this area at least) definitely do not see being highly educated as a desirable characteristic in a woman. Nor are they happy with a woman who earns more than them. Those men are definitely not for me. But they’re not all horrors and someone else will have the characteristics they’re looking for.
(I am actually squirming at having typed all that. Every instinct in me is screaming ‘stop boasting’. But I have promised myself that I will celebrate the good things about me and not concentrate on the negative. So I’m going to resist counterbalancing it with a list of everything that’s wrong with me).