Dating thread 145: new year new adventures

[Notcoolmum]

apparentlyacatch I’m sorry to be such a mum but please don’t invite men round to your house in the first date. You are putting yourself in a v vulnerable position. These men are strangers and you know nothing more about them than what they have chosen to tell you.

He now knows where you live, what possessions you have, seen pictures of your kids, your car, where you put your keys etc.

So 3rd date tonight with Mr S and we are totally DTD! Excited and nervous!!

I can't imagine have to kiss through a beard. I'd vomit.

I guess if you fell in love with a guy before he had a beard, you'd get used to it.

I've never kissed a guy with more than a smig - which I find attractive.

I've often wondered whether this man might have been good-looking if he shaved the beard off - he has nice eyes. A lovely blue. It's hard to tell though with half their face covered in hair!

Couldn't find an image, so a youtube clip instead

It’s stubble that’s a bloody nightmare. Sandpapery stubble. It’s fine once it gets a bit longer and obviously in the freshly shaved moment. But sandpapery stubble leads to face shredding.

I’m not a beard fan tbh, but I’ve realised in the last few months that I don’t hate them in the right person. I used to despair at my ex’s attempts to grow a beard, which was patchy, didn’t join up with his sideburns and blonde (so his face just looked a bit out of focus). He looked crap.

Ok. He used to have it fairly short and it's blondeish. Maybe I need to get him to put it right back to where it was.....he's being a bit tubborn about it right now. SIGH

My BF didn't have a beard when we met but he's started letting his stubble grow and I love it on him 😍
Can't say I generally fancy bearded men but I suppose it's down to the individual

I never used to like beards but I fancied an ex despite his and now I'm 100 % converted. Not big bushy ones though. Hate scratchy stubble.

I thought I didn't like beards, till I kissed a man with a lovely beard and it made no difference and he was the most fantastic kisser ever

what age range is he putting in supercali? I'm a bit older than him (late 40s) - but I have friends dating his age range. I think there is a lot of competition because he's probably looking in the 31-41 age category I'm guessing and women that age pretty much have their pick of age groups (whereas women my age don't particularly )

super don’t make him cut the beard 😮, no one should have to change their appearance to attract a partner. Just send him to my house instead.

@daffo - i'm not sure i'll ask him! But he did have a couple of dates with a woman of 45 so I imagine he is going older than him.

@love. God I totally would....he's a great guy.

Fwiw, i fancied him years ago but we became really good mates (both had partners) and now, I couldn't date because it would be like kissing my brother. Honestly don't get it. Tough out there!

Can I ask something about pof? You know when you get these pings on your phone 'Someone wants to meet you' and if you click on it, you have to upgrade, is that the same thing as the Meet Me thing on the website? It says I've 2600 people who want to meet me (I'm not that attractive, I've just been on there over a year lol), but I never know whether that's the Meet Me thing where you've all the men randomly listed and you've to select the ones you want to meet, or are they the ones who want to meet me if you get me?

So, say for e.g. there are 2 guys
Beardy
Baldy

You get a ping saying someone wants to meet you. It's Beardy. When you click on the Meet Me thing, does Beardy appear there?
And if I'm going through the Meet Me's, and I click on Baldy, that I want to meet him, does he get a ping?

You get me?

Be careful of meet me. A lot of the fake profiles use it.

In theory, if someone has sent you a meet me, they should be near the top of your meet me pile if you start to work your way through it

Because a lot of guys have on their profile, 'Don't have meet me'.

I just swipe yes on about 1 in a hundred of them. Mostly because they live 100's of miles away! I do that when I'm stuck on a bus.
But I wonder what's the point in sending me a 'Meet Me', as you can't actually see who it's from?
I don't know how to send a Meet Me to a guy?

almu - you have to pay - it's only purpose is to get you to pay for pof. Not worth it - I think as above if they selected meet me in your criteria they'll be at the top of the 'meet me' deck

Hello all, room for 1 more?

Can I ask a tech question? If someone asks to chat on WhatsApp and you connect with them there, what info can they then access about you? Facebook? Not sure if i’m Being paranoid but the questions this guy was asking, it was like he knew more about me than i’d Told him!

Sorry for random capitals!

Well, I've enough assholes messaging me, I don't need to pay for the Meetmes lol.

My current guy, Mr Car (concussion from his car accident) had messaged me since December with messages such as 'Morning'. For weeks on end bless him. I rarely replied. But he would still message with 'Morning' almost every day, so I was bored one evening and I sent him a Hi and we just started chatting. Haven't met him yet, bless him, he's never done internet dating before, so he thinks we're going to hit it off from the word Go. He'll probably take one look at me and think WTF??? I've had that happen to me twice!!!
He's adorable though. Sends me the sweetest texts.

All you can see on Whatsapp is your photo I think? Unless he's found your full name there and searched for you on FB? I don't actually know to be honest!

If their number is saved in your phone for use in WhatsApp, they may pop up as a recommended friend on fb - if you let fb have access to your phone book

My neighbour friend joined pof for the first time the other week. Had two first dates and seen one of those three times and has deleted his profile! He thinks she's the one. Quick work!

When I deleted my profile last week,i gave my number to a chap via pof then deleted my profile,i take it he would have got the message? Or would everything from me vanish. Wishful thinking no doubt. Anyway,I'm feeling great,London had better be good on sat as I've just booked theatre tickets for april and will have to do it all again lol

Does anyone think I might have better luck with some of the paid for sites?

After some of the comments from you guys yesterday and people I've generally spoken to about emotionally unavailable women being on the free apps I am wondering if this is why I am so unsuccessful.

I've always been a bit hesitant to go on a paid site because Bumble, etc are free and I seem to get dates from them but they rarely end up being meaningful. I've not heard many good things from people who have tried eharmony but perhaps Match might be an option?

Yes, whatapp is linked to FB, if you have someone's number saved and you are messaging on WhatsApp you will appear on the 'people you may know' bit. I have accidently found several irons that way.

@Rich sorry, which sites are you currently on? The one thing I found worth paying for was Tinder Gold - then I could see who “liked” me & it made it easier, not having to swipe for ages. Does that make sense?

I was on Match for a free month - for me it was rubbish.