Dating thread 145: new year new adventures

[Notcoolmum]

apparentlyacatch I’m sorry to be such a mum but please don’t invite men round to your house in the first date. You are putting yourself in a v vulnerable position. These men are strangers and you know nothing more about them than what they have chosen to tell you.

He now knows where you live, what possessions you have, seen pictures of your kids, your car, where you put your keys etc.

So 3rd date tonight with Mr S and we are totally DTD! Excited and nervous!!

this guys kids aren't little they'e in the 12+ category.

I think that definitely makes it worse. They’d be totally aware of what’s going on and it’s be excruciatingly embarrassing for all involved.

What's everyone's tips for that lonely slump in the evenings?

Evening classes and swimming is keeping me busy but sometimes it just doesn't fill that void!

@apparently I tend to potter about doing DIY, I also have a good single freind round the corner so that helps. That said I love time on my own, i'm sure that'll change as time goes on

What's a fun evening class that doesn't feel like a chore though?
I've tried pottery and badminton but never met a friend or anyone particularly interesting.
Salsa was terrible years ago.

Apparently I find evenings hard in the winter, in the summer it’s much easier to find things to do as it’s not as dark and cold out. I swim in the mornings so I’m usually tired by the evening so I’m happy not to do much, just gets a bit lonely.

To keep me amused I shop, work out, watch tv or do housework. Spoke to Mr. drives cars and he seems absolutely lovely. Very sweet and innocent in a way. Was married but his wife cheated on him with one of his team. He's calling me later, we spoke for about 2 hours on the phone.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, I have a medical issue which I'm not going to post about on here!

Thanks to those that had a look at my profile! What's interesting is that some of you have said completely opposite things

I've still had no swipes on bumble, however, and my 3-day old pof profile has been viewed a grand total of once

Dan ,I have shown my profile to people on here in the past and had the same response. I think that just proves that we all like different things, the best thing you can do is be honest and natural, natural photos doing things you like to do or a simple face shot, a short description about yourself and your hobbies.

I am texting someone and I don’t know who I’m texting, gave my number to a couple irons last week and have got muddled up.

@DogDayMorning thanks he's messaged today but still no sign of asking for a date so I've decided I'm not going to respond to his messages now unless he refers to the weekend. The only reason I expected us to meet was he said the 12 day gap between our last dates was too long!! I'm not going to be an option for anyone!!

I ended up messaging my other guys I binned who are still interested and MrGreyNo2 coming over tomorrow night I think - though now I have another dilemma!! I've got my period - it's nearly done and might be gone by tomorrow but how do you tell them 🙈🙈🙈

@MinnieMul7 the tinder thing is a pain the thing is now I feel I can't go back on till we sort it out as he won't know I know he was on it and I've told him I'm off it so he will see a new profile so incase I'm over-reacting I don't want to give him wrong idea!!

@Focus2019 I had my period on date 3 with my now BF. We'd been chatting via text through the day and I just dropped in that it was 'that time of the month' and I'd understand if he'd rather reschedule
He turned up with pizza, donuts and a box set

@wishywashy6 that's so sweet 😊😊😊 I actually don't mind it on my period but not with someone new and not a proper boyfriend. 🤣🤣🤣

@Focus2019 no I'm the same, it's not such an issue now

Are you intending on doing the deed? If so, I used to have a shower, put a very absorbent tampon in, then take it out just before the deed. You won't have any blood then, if you're at the end. Just don't have him going down on you!

Anyway Mr. Car didn't call me back. Soon to be retitled Mr. Unreliable haha.

I'd understand if he'd rather reschedule
He turned up with pizza, donuts and a box set

What a great litmus test! If they just want to hang and have fun and food with you, they're probably fairly chill. Sex is important, but it's part of a relationship, not the focus of it. IMHO that is.

On Tuesday I arranged a date with someone new. It's supposed to be happening tonight. But since we arranged the date I've not heard anything from him.
So yesterday I sent a text asking if we were still meeting. No reply.

I'm thinking that my date is probably not going to happen tonight. My question is do I just leave it? Or do I send a sarcastic 'thanks for letting me know you'd cancelled' text?

So I’ve deleted the apps from my phone and going to see how I get on. I’m still seeing Mr L but we def feel more like occasional FWBs than anything else. We have cut right back in messaging. But have a date arranged for next Saturday.

Mr S had a wobble after DTd uncovered an issue but he’s been really lovely and open and I want to see him again. We chat by WA a lot and I feel we have potential.

Chatting to 2 others I’ll call Mr Bees and Mr DIY. No dates arranged. Mr Bees has a second date with someone else this weekend.

Personally MyOldBrain I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of showing it's bothered you. It's clear from what I've seen written on here that people abuse OLD to assert some control that they probably fail to assert in their actual lives.
He's rude and disrespectful therefore not worth the time of day, move on in my opinion.

@myoldbrain I agree with above. Also he has a chance then to come back with some pithy excuse to make him feel better when basic courtesy was missing...and it won't make you feel any better

I have a coffee thing today with someone who I discussed nsa with. We're going to see. I am kinda petrified. It's what I want .. no relationships for this gal right now....but it feels bold af

Mr. Cars has apparently only ever been with one woman (his ex). He hasn't been on any dates either (again apparently). I'm inclined to believe him actually. He seems a rare breed so to speak. That's a bit of pressure!

@unique1986 I often do Pilates classes in the evening if I don’t have DS2. It’s a good way of meeting lots of women in active wear, which may not be what you’re looking for. 😆 And it tires you out.

In the summer, I quite like going down to the coast (only 30 mins away from here) for either surf or sea kayaking club. I’m crap at surfing, but it’s fun. Sea kayaking is definitely easier. Both are good ways to meet a range of people - although you do have to put on a wetsuit.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking nope I wouldn't message him at all. Even if he wasnt able to make it tonight, the least he could do is drop a quick text. First red flag for me that is...keep it moving :)

Update on the guy I have been speaking to, we spoke before bed last night for just over an hour. We are both looking forward to our second date. He said he has to tell me something (nothing bad) but he doesn't want to say it now. He says he will tell me in about two months, he says it's something that'll make us both laugh. Any ideas what it could be? This morning I text him good morning, wanted to get in there first this time, and he replied with a really lovely message. I fee really good about him, I can't put my finger on it, but he just seems like a really great guy. I just hope I'm not missing something obvious here. Trying not to get too attached to him, in case he decides to move on.