Dating thread 145: new year new adventures

[Notcoolmum]

apparentlyacatch I’m sorry to be such a mum but please don’t invite men round to your house in the first date. You are putting yourself in a v vulnerable position. These men are strangers and you know nothing more about them than what they have chosen to tell you.

He now knows where you live, what possessions you have, seen pictures of your kids, your car, where you put your keys etc.

So 3rd date tonight with Mr S and we are totally DTD! Excited and nervous!!

MyOldBrain yes my mates will if I ask, once they've stopped making jokes about it anyway But I'm good friends with a couple of their wives who will probably be a lot more helpful.

Right, I'm joining this thread. I've been single coming up for two years at the end of next month and the time is now. I briefly went on a couple of dates about 4/5 months after we split and it was too soon. I just couldn't get my ex out of my head and couldn't stop comparing and didn't fancy the guys at all. Decided to have a break and work on myself...ended up having the best year of my life!!

The thought of dating makes me so nervous and I've dipped in and out of dating sites for the past year with no intention of meeting anybody...now I think I really need to get out there.

Will me along people. I've started responding to messages 😬😬

Starting to think positive then chatting to a guy and notice his spelling is terrible...deep breath

Let the force be with you Cant !

Reporting back from my date last night. I feel a bit sad because I found him attractive, we had lots and lots in common....but he obviously wasn't into me . I asked him at the end if he wanted to meet up again, and he was like "Oh.....yes, I suppose we could hang out" in a tone that made clear he meant as friends. No goodbye hug or anything.

This is the first time I've had a date with somebody nice who hasn't been into me, boo! (not that I've had that many dates full stop).

@Dan. Your comment re the bunny ears and filters had me chuckling.

I loathe those filters, they seem so immature to me.

I've just been chatting to a nice ish guy but he said he's looking for someone to kiss and cuddle every day, go for long walks holding hands and I cringed.

It's either dick pics and scrotums or this. It all feels so forced and frenetic.

This is all within a couple of messages. I used to find this fun but it's bloody hard graft!!

@stubbornstains onwards and upwards! On to the next one, try not to dwell on it.

help

You're right, no dwelling! To that end, I've been checking Bumble for new messages every 5 fucking minutes today, while internally going "WILL YOU JUST STOP WOMAN, THIS IS NOT HEALTHY".

Maybe introducing a 24hr apps fast after every unsuccessful date, possibly trying to go for a walk and commune with trees etc. as well, would be good practice...

@stubbornstains maybe set aside some time every other day or so to check the app, and in the mean time download some games or something like that on your phone instead, to hopefully stop you check it for messages all the time. You're right it's not healthy and it might lead you to just accept convo from from anyone if you see what I mean. 24 hour fast seems good, but don't assume all future dates will be unsuccessful

Well Mr devastated me over the weekend, and I deleted suddenly reappeared and wants to keep talking now, I have fallen straight back into it, yet suspect from messaging pattern he is on a date tonight. Which has really pissed me off, which is stupid as I’m now speaking to 3 other people and hopefully setting dates up.

Not logical this dating lark is it?

Well yesterday I started getting uneasy about McDreamy and today not helped I remembered he was away today so checked his location on Tinder and it had updated and again it updated when he was back home he's been on WhatsApp not read my message and not responded so I think my uneasiness is spot on!! He's also not arranged another date yet. I bloody hate this OLD I had such a good feeling I think I've spooked him by inviting him to something end of the month. I'm not going to write him off just yet see what messages I get over the next few days and if he sets up a date.

focus I’m sorry but that doesn’t sound great. I hope you’re ok

focus I hate that the location updates for you to see... it is almost as bad as the last seen on whatsapp and you can't turn it off. What was making you uneasy before that?

So, I was chatting to someone. Attractive, seemed nice. We go on whatsapp and start arranging a date - he suggests meeting for coffee at the weekend but he'll have his kids with him......Tumbleweed. Why would anyone even.....??

Or ... is that a thing??? I can't figure it out

@ supercali77 ooooommmmmmgggg!!!! Why on earth would he think that was acceptable? what did you say back?

@supercali77 someone said that to me too, was planning on taking his daughter to London and asked if I wanted to meet during the day!

@help I just said - later in the week when you don't have the kids.....but honestly i'm thinking of cancelling. It just seems so....weird.?

@Eesha ..I mean, what is that all about? Awkward af! Did you just say no?

@supercali77 I said no but we did keep in touch and I think he just thought it was convenient as lived far away.

It’s quite alarming that someone would take their kid(s) on a first date, even more so when it’s an OLD date. Why would it even cross anyone’s mind to suggest that?

(It’s a namechanged TwiceMagic, btw).

Someone I dated a year or so ago told me he arranged to meet someone for a date and she turned up with her toddler, they arranged to meet at a fancy sushi bar, she ordered lots of sushi for her toddler and he had to pay for it ,she then invited him back to hers and expected him to have sex with her with the toddler in the house, he refused and she got funny with him and kicked him out.

I would never take my kids with me on a date, wrong on so many levels.

Help laddies, I’m getting the itch, I could really do with some good sex but I don’t have many irons and my FWB has pissed me off. I have a child free day Sunday and would love to go on a date or find a new FWB 😁. I’m not really getting anywhere with POF, I can’t wait to meet Mr Parrot but it’s almost 2 weeks away and I don’t want to jump on him when I see him.

I don't know if it's different from a same sex perspective, but I've had a fair few women suggest taking theirs and mine kids to a park for a first date.

"EWB" no showed for our "date" and has now gone uncontactable. 🙄

Beyond I guess if you have small kids you could meet in a park, for all the kids know you just happened to be in the same place at the same time and got chatting (like parents do). I have had a few men suggest meeting or ‘bumping into each other’ whilst I have the kids with me, mine are older now and I couldn’t really get away with it.

Yeah - this guys kids aren't little they'e in the 12+ category.

Well my latest love interest appears to race cars for a living. Seems very nice, sends sweet meme type things in the morning. We've been chatting since December. Wants to meet, I live in London, he's in Surrey but he said he has no problem coming to meet me. He's not very tall lol which is not something I usually go for (he's 5'7"). I won't be meeting for a week at least due to other commitments. We haven't chatted on the phone yet. First thing in the morning appears to be when he communicates most!
Apart from that, I've a few others that I'm messaging. Won't be meeting any of them for the next week, so it's wait and see really!