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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wish me luck ... I'm actually doing it

305 replies

beverleymaccalovesdave · 03/01/2019 13:43

I've posted under many names over the last year , mainly because I was embarrassed that I didn't have the strength to leave and I didn't want my mn 'friends' to get fed up of me the way my real life friends have .

Long story short : I met a man who initially was everything I could have wished for , it didn't take long for the cracks to show but I thought I could change him if I was just a little better with him , if I didn't say too much , if I just agreed with him more .. you get the jist !

Anyway I gave up my house to live with him and his children ( he is a young widower) and for a million reasons all of which I knew and could see before I did that I am finally at breaking point .

Right now ,I am awaiting the call back from the letting agent on a property I've fallen in love with back In my hometown (miles always from him ) . I have already passed the credit check and secured a little loan off my big brother for the deposit , just the references to go now .

I know it will all kick off when I tell him I'm leaving and I know there will be a battle over me taking my things and I probs won't get out of there without some injury or all of my possessions but I'm so looking forward to just me and my dds being happy and safe in our little cottage .

I'm still playing the game at the minute , still sending the 'I love you 'texts and pottering around his house , sorting his kids , handing my money over ( money is a big problem of his , his is his but once that's gone he demands mine too,'family pot' but only when it suits him ) .

Ive got a van lined up and am covertly putting the word out for second hand furniture amongst my work friends ( I still work in my hometown and of course he hasn't wanted to bother with any of them despite numerous invites )

It will be a few days/week or so before I can attempt to get my things and go but it's happening , just hope all is good news with the letting agency

Wish me luck Smile

OP posts:
drspouse · 21/01/2019 21:17

Gosh that's a lot of changes! Here's to boring for the foreseeable.

another20 · 21/01/2019 21:32

I bet your children are delighted to have you back all to themselves - lots of cuddles to make up for lost time. Well done on getting through this and getting a new job. Luckily you were not still with him when the other job ended - that would have been grim. Good luck with it all.

Starburst8 · 21/01/2019 22:47

Thanks for the update... So pleased you've settled in well. Sorry to hear about your old job but great news on getting a new one -congratulations!
Here's to fresh beginnings and new starts Wine

purplelass · 22/01/2019 09:04

Glad to hear it's all looking up for you now!

Don't be surprised if you get huge waves of emotion once the adrenalin wears off. I'm still getting the occasional one nearly 3 1/2 years later!

Well done you, you're an inspiration to anyone who's having to put up with living with someone who doesn't treat them how they deserve Flowers

ILoveMyMonkey · 01/02/2019 11:17

Such a great update, well done op you should be super proud of yourself. Flowers

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