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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wish me luck ... I'm actually doing it

305 replies

beverleymaccalovesdave · 03/01/2019 13:43

I've posted under many names over the last year , mainly because I was embarrassed that I didn't have the strength to leave and I didn't want my mn 'friends' to get fed up of me the way my real life friends have .

Long story short : I met a man who initially was everything I could have wished for , it didn't take long for the cracks to show but I thought I could change him if I was just a little better with him , if I didn't say too much , if I just agreed with him more .. you get the jist !

Anyway I gave up my house to live with him and his children ( he is a young widower) and for a million reasons all of which I knew and could see before I did that I am finally at breaking point .

Right now ,I am awaiting the call back from the letting agent on a property I've fallen in love with back In my hometown (miles always from him ) . I have already passed the credit check and secured a little loan off my big brother for the deposit , just the references to go now .

I know it will all kick off when I tell him I'm leaving and I know there will be a battle over me taking my things and I probs won't get out of there without some injury or all of my possessions but I'm so looking forward to just me and my dds being happy and safe in our little cottage .

I'm still playing the game at the minute , still sending the 'I love you 'texts and pottering around his house , sorting his kids , handing my money over ( money is a big problem of his , his is his but once that's gone he demands mine too,'family pot' but only when it suits him ) .

Ive got a van lined up and am covertly putting the word out for second hand furniture amongst my work friends ( I still work in my hometown and of course he hasn't wanted to bother with any of them despite numerous invites )

It will be a few days/week or so before I can attempt to get my things and go but it's happening , just hope all is good news with the letting agency

Wish me luck Smile

OP posts:
Parisetoile · 11/01/2019 15:46

I'm so pleased about your house, thanks for the update, good luck with everything! XX

baubled · 11/01/2019 15:46

So glad you've got them OP! Are you going to try and get everything in tonight incase he comes back or will it have to be tomorrow?

notangelinajolie · 11/01/2019 16:05

Thinking of you OP. Keep on - just one more day. Hope all goes well for you tomorrow.

Bumbumtaloo · 11/01/2019 16:20

Just wanted to wish you luck OP, stay safe Flowers

importantkath · 11/01/2019 16:23

Hurrah!!!! Nearly there and then you can start living as you and the DC wish...

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/01/2019 16:25

Great news about the house, I hope your day at work went well.

Fingers crossed he has buggered off for the weekend and you can move your stuff out in peace. Whatever happens your safety is paramount. Flowers

TeddyIsaHe · 11/01/2019 16:38

Ah op just read through your thread. What a woman you are!

Congrats on the keys. I hope this weekend goes smoothly. Never be afraid to call the police if you feel threatened in anyway at all.

rainbowstardrops · 11/01/2019 16:40

You're nearly free. Just remember that Thanks

bevmaccalovesdave · 11/01/2019 16:44

My phone was Part of a family contract in his name ,

The fucker has just cancelled it , it's still working on WiFi , the phone itself doesn't appear to be blocked just service is unavailable.

Can I just get a new sim .. the phone was on 3 network .. what do I need to do ?

Skippii · 11/01/2019 16:52

Pickup a new payg 3 SIM in a 3 store/phone shop/supermarket and swap them over

MadeForThis · 11/01/2019 16:56

Sim needs to be from the same network but you can get one on a rolling contract or prepay. New number.

He will still be paying the bill until the contract finishes. If he reports the phone lost or stolen the network can bar the actual phone so no sim will work in it.

MadeForThis · 11/01/2019 16:57

Let everyone know not to contact you on the old number as the network can send him out a replacement sim. He will then get all the texts sent to that number.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/01/2019 16:59

It's just another example of the fuckwittery he's up to.

You need a mobile phone this weekend.

Can you borrow one from someone? Hell, I'll lend you mine if you're anywhere near Cheltenham.

WitchDancer · 11/01/2019 16:59

Congratulations on getting the keys.

Maybe the phone thing is not a bad thing - you can get a new number and he'll not have it.

RandomMess · 11/01/2019 17:01

So pathetic!!!

bevmaccalovesdave · 11/01/2019 17:03

I have a work mobile , as long as I'm not chatting to the USA for hours I should be able to get away with it for a few days .

Will get a new sim after work and see if that works , I'm expecting the whole phone to block up though .

Bonus is he can't contact me either .. he hasn't got my work number

Won't be able to update without WiFi .

Thank you all for your support I promise to check In as soon as I can Confused

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 11/01/2019 17:05

Great news about the work mobile. Good luck!!!

another20 · 11/01/2019 17:11

So delighted for you about the fab new house - how exciting. Does he have the address - is it far away from him?

Do you have someone to help you move tomorrow? Do you need to stay in the house tonight? What if he comes back - seems like he has lived his children out for now?

WitchDancer · 11/01/2019 17:21

WiFi is free in places like McDonalds or Costa if you need it

Annasgirl · 11/01/2019 17:25

congrats OP I hope you are very happy and safe in your new home.

I would move today if I were you - even sleeping on the floor if needed.

winecigsandchoc · 11/01/2019 17:36

Wow well done OP! Keep going!

wildone03 · 11/01/2019 17:47

How exciting. Good luck OP..

StormTreader · 11/01/2019 18:02

Actually what hes done is give you a really concrete thing to hang on to for future reference if he ever tries to pull things back to "I've always tried to help you", "I've never done anything bad or spiteful to you" either as trying to draw you back in or as part of what he tells people in the future.

"You mean like when he cancelled my phone SIM 12 hours before I was due to move out so the van hire place, new landlord - everything that was vital for me to have that weekend in fact - suddenly couldn't contact me? Oh yes, he was a saint".

JaneyJimplin · 11/01/2019 18:25

I've been following and I'm so glad you're leaving. I hope you and your children are happy in your lovely new home Flowers

TeaMeBasil · 11/01/2019 18:49

So glad you are almost there, new place sounds great. Have all fingers crossed for you - let us know all is well when you can.

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