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Original poster

Would you meet this stranger?

162 replies

Beautifulstrangers · 02/01/2019 15:24

I'm 18 months out of a very long marriage and probably naive. I married as a young teen and have never known anything else.
So I'm trying to pick myself up and joined a couple of dating sites.

About a week ago as I'm perusing said dating site my breathe is
literally taken away by the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
This beautiful man is 20 yearsyounger than me - obviously I move on and think no more about it.

Later that day said beautiful stranger messages me on the dating site, tells me I'm beautiful Blush I'm not but I'm ok for my age.
I try to convince this lovely man to find himself a gorgeous younger woman.
He tells me he prefers older women and wants a serious relationship.

Later on we move on to telephone calls and it's apparent this man is not only beautiful but educated,respectfulandgentlemany -he tells me about his job in finance.

Now for my what would you do. He wants to take me to the theatre in London [where he lives]
he will meet me off the train take me to the theatre and then back to my hotel - alone. Then pick me up in the morning and take me to the station
for the train home.
He tells me he wants me in his life.
What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Beautifulstrangers · 02/01/2019 15:26

PS, be gentle, I'm a bit fragile.

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 02/01/2019 15:27

No. He wants sex only. You could end up very hurt.

userxx · 02/01/2019 15:29

To be honest, if he's that beautiful its probably a fake profile. You need to grow a thicker skin if you're doing online dating, its not a place for the fragile.

hellsbellsmelons · 02/01/2019 15:29

I wouldn't do that!
That's too much for a first date.
Do you want to be with someone 20 years younger than you?
I would suggest a coffee for a first meet or a drink and chat in a pub.
IF you get on and he is who he claims to be then you can go a 2nd date.
That sounds like a bloody expensive first date.
If he's that interested he will be OK with a quick meet and chat for a 1st date.
It all seems way too much way too soon.
Be very careful of 'love bombing'
Take it slowly.
Very slowly.

ColdCrumpetsandButter · 02/01/2019 15:29

After a week of messaging and telephone calls he's saying he wants you in his life? He doesn't know you yet! Sounds intense quickly and I would be unsure about his intentions.

beenandgoneandbackagain · 02/01/2019 15:30

I would meet him at the theatre, go for a drink somewhere afterwards if you like him, and take a taxi back to the hotel alone afterwards. Unless you are staying in a hotel that is secure I wouldn't let him know which one. Why does he need to take you to the station the next day? Maybe you could arrange to meet in a neutral place for breakfast near the station the next morning?

Have you googled him / looked on LinkedIn to make sure his job is legit?

JaiNotJay · 02/01/2019 15:30

There's no harm in meeting him if you like him, but be wary and take things slowly. Also, why would he need to chaperone you to your hotel and the station? Couldn't you just meet him at the theatre? Although I would probably suggest meeting for a quick drink as a first date, it's easier to make a getaway if you need to, rather than have to sit next to a complete weirdo for the whole night at a show!

Omgineedanamechange · 02/01/2019 15:32

This has got scam written all over it I’m afraid.

Reaa · 02/01/2019 15:32

No

This sounds like one of the con artists that pray on single woman, with promises to wine and dine but they "forget" their wallets and promises to pay back double when you next meet, which either never happens or this time they have suddenly "lost" the card needed to pay.

I would be very careful if you do choose to meet and I would be using taxis.

If something sounds too good to be true, it's normally is.

I'm so sorry to not have a happier outlook for you.

Vitalogy · 02/01/2019 15:32

Does sound too good to be true. But who knows. What about doing a video call/Skype?

AbbieDabbieDoo · 02/01/2019 15:33

When I did the online dating thing a couple of years ago, I got messages from guys who were much younger than me and it became apparent that they were either just looking for sex with someone more mature, or thought that I'd have money so could be their sugar mummy!

I think that the more flattering and keenly they act before having met, the less likely it is that they're looking for a serious relationship.
I'd tread very carefully. If you're certain you want to meet him, I'd suggest initially meet up somewhere half way between your homes for a coffee then arrange a fancy theatre date if that goes well? I suspect that he may vanish at the suggestion though, as he'll be thinking only about the hotel part of his suggested date and the theatre tickets probably wouldn't materialise.

Purpleisthenewblue1 · 02/01/2019 15:34

Just no.

Silkei · 02/01/2019 15:34

I’d be perfectly happy dating a beautiful man 20 years younger, even if he only wanted sex Grin

Tweety1981 · 02/01/2019 15:38

He might be
Lying about himself . Happens a lot online . No harm in meeting him but you need to ensure that you are in a public place the whole time . Eg a restaurant . And then do not leave with him on your own . Sometimes younger men are after money and stuff like that . But to be honest you have to be pessimistic sometimes just so that you are grounded . It may well be that you have met someone amazing . I’m probably younger than you and did meet people online when I was a lot younger . Nothing worked out and most were not to be trusted , married / attached and looking for flings etc etc . But you never know ....

category12 · 02/01/2019 15:39

He's going for the whole whisk you off your feet thing, isn't he?

If you want to meet him, book your own hotel and organise making your own way there and back. Have a safe call (someone who'll expect a phone call from you to let them know you're OK and who will keep in touch).

If you do meet and decide to shag him, only do it if you can believe you'll enjoy the shag and won't be gutted if it doesn't go anywhere.

Hellohah · 02/01/2019 15:39

Have you done a reverse image search?

category12 · 02/01/2019 15:40

Could well be a "oh I forgot my wallet" type.

Bluntness100 · 02/01/2019 15:43

Hmm, what nationality is he?

It's very odd to say he wants you in his life when he doesn't even know you. I'd be worried it was a scam.

Have you reverse google imaged? Done a search on him?

TheVanguardSix · 02/01/2019 15:44

No.

This is the last thing you need right now, the last of the last of the last. Look, we all feel like chopped liver after a divorce and it takes guts to get back out there on the dating bus. So don't step on the first one that comes, especially this one, which is more like an emotional abattoir on wheels.

maximumcarnage · 02/01/2019 15:45

I don't think there's anything wrong with meeting this guy and having an enjoyable day together. There are a few suggestions already mentioned by a previous poster I would listen to however. I would be less inclined to meet him at the station and certainly wouldn't want him following you to the hotel. You want to meet in a public place and make sure that friends and family know exactly where you are going to be and when.

Miffymeow · 02/01/2019 15:47

Reverse picture search his photos on google and see what you find. Also google the hell outta him. If you can't find him, he is almost certainly a catfish, or if you find him with different info. I don't know what age he is but I suspect he has facebook and also linkedin if he is in finance. Either way, at least something should come up!

That sounds like an intense first date. Whenever I met up with guys from dating sites when I was single, I would meet in a very public place just for a coffee or something, never any more than that. If we clicked then we could spend more time there, if not then I had an easy out.

People online that seem to good to be true generally are, be very careful.

crimsonlake · 02/01/2019 15:48

I think he has done one on you , beware. The photo is probably fake if he looks like a model, what is his marital status, not a widower by any chance.

xpc316e · 02/01/2019 15:51

I do not think it would be long before he asked you to lend him some money.

Vitalogy · 02/01/2019 15:52

TheVanguardSix A very meaty reply Grin

AdaColeman · 02/01/2019 15:54

As you say, he is a stranger, yet he has suggested this very involved first meeting, which to me rings quite a few alarm bells.

Why don't you suggest meeting for coffee in a town halfway between where you both live? Set it up for mid morning, if it's going well, you could then extend it to a snack style lunch. You could drive or travel by train, with no suggestion of overnight hotels etc.

I think you need to be very wary. Leave information about him, your meeting plans, contact details etc etc with a trusted friend.
Most men on dating sites alter their ages etc.

Be prepared to be disappointed.

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