Christmas present, not my style and was very expensive

[Wildestflower]

My DH and I have had a difficult year, in part because he was working very long hours and I felt very unsupported. He has made a big effort since September and we are getting along better. He bought me an expensive artisan necklace for Christmas. It is gold with semiprecious stones. It is not me at all. I am worried that he has spent money we can't really afford on something I will never wear. It came from a market (he was with my DC and they told me, they guessed when they saw my face that I was unsure about it). I don't know what to do. I have smiled and said thank you.

How are things with him now op?

I’d be buying him a divorce - he sounds truly awful - controlling, manipulative, rude...

It's so hard to strike a balance between honesty/rudeness when it comes to presents! I was brought up to always say "thanks, I love it." but doing this too convincingly has meant that my dfil has brought me the same £20 soap every birthday and Christmas for me for the last £19 years! I still dislike the scent, and never use soap ever, but still have to be 'delighted' about my 'little treat'. :( On the plus side I now ebay them and dfil isn't upset that I'm rejecting his gift - and he would take offense if I did.

My dh also can be a bit rubbish in buying gifts, so sometimes I say something about it (like this Xmas when he got me a slow cooker thats nigh on identical to the unused one that's been in the attic for 9 years) and sometimes I just grin and bear it.

As with the pp, my dh would rather chew his own arm off than 'lose face' by taking something back to an artisan seller/craftsperson, and the bluster the op's husband is showing would be my dh's way of getting me to back down so he doesn't have the embarrassment of it.

It's strange what some posters are willing to consider acceptable behaviour.
My issue wouldn't be the gift itself but the OP's husband's reaction. That was agressive and rude and it would make never want a gift from him again.
I asked my DH about this scenario and he says that while he would be sad he got it wrong, the purpose of buying me a gift is to make me happy so he'd want to return it and get something I'd like, or sell it and buy something I'd like.
Most of us can't afford to shove £300 down the toilet so it's a bit different from pretending to like a cheaper gift or a gift from extended family.

Can you imagine search or search the sellers list at the market to find the seller?

I'd be tempted to do as a pp suggested & tell him that his attitude to you is appalling so you're going to deal with it yourself.

Ooh tricky! But his reaction is awful. You won’t suddenly like it in a week will you? I’d be so cross at the money wasted

How's it going, op? Has he come to his senses yet and apologised?

My husband would be very embarrassed if he had got me do badly wrong, I think, and people react differently when embarrassed, but the "wives are supposed to [anything at all, frankly]" and "unusual reaction" bullshit are just too twattish for words. I hope you resolve it quickly, OP.

No he hasn't apologised and is acting as if nothing has happened. I'm waiting to see what he has to say.

Its a difficult one. but now its gone so far do what was suggested above and just ignore the whole thing now.. but not wear it..

I asked my DH and he said he'd rather know and would exchange ..

....However I had already taken the label off and wore the slightly too small , not at all my colour £££ silk/lace dressing gown he had ought me for Christmas by then ill just carry on with it now and gradually phase it out (and lose weight, I need to anyway)

That's made me smile.