Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Haven’t heard from my boyfriend since Saturday

470 replies

ihavetogoshoppingnow · 01/01/2019 12:36

We’ve been dating for 6 months we’re not the type that text each other all day long but we always message each other good morning and usually have some kind of text conversation in a day.

I left his house Saturday lunchtime and he was getting ready to meet his friends in town for food then they were going out out later on we talked a little but while he was out then around 9pm I text him saying have a good night and let me know when your home he said he would and text me saying good night. Woke up Sunday morning and he hadn’t text so I text him the usual good morning and asked about his night I didn’t hear anything all day but assumed he was just sleeping/hungover I text him again Sunday night asking if he was alright and the message didn’t deliver I tried to ring him and it went straight to voicemail and has done ever since. I assumed at first he’d just lost his phone in his flat and let it die (this happens a lot he’s not the type who’s always got his phone in his hand) but he was supposed to be going out again last night for New Years and the phone is still dead so I’m starting to get really worried because he wouldn’t have gone out without it.

Not really sure why I’m posting or what help people could be but I just needed to talk to someone, maybe have some reassurance?

OP posts:
GodknowsIwanttobreakfree · 01/01/2019 13:53

It sounds like he was making up for lost time then.

NooMe · 01/01/2019 13:57

OP, can't you just drive to his house with your children in the car? That's what I would do.

If he has ghosted you, he can tell you why face to face.

WWYDhelpplease · 01/01/2019 13:59

I’d just take the kids and go and check.

What’s ghosted please?

ApolloandDaphne · 01/01/2019 14:01

I would drive to his house with the kids. Tell them you need to pass on a message to a friend. They don't need to know you are in a relationship.

NooMe · 01/01/2019 14:03

WWYDhelpplease Ghosting is ending all contact with someone suddenly without any warning.

huggybear · 01/01/2019 14:03

Ghosting is when someone stops all communication without any explanation, usually when dating.

Also, I know lots of young men who aren't on SM, none are secretly married or anything, it's not that odd really.

Burnt0range · 01/01/2019 14:05

I agree that it could be something as simple as him losing his phone and having no way to contact you.

So lets say he lost his phone on a night out, right?

Could he phone you? Nope! His phone has gone, including your number. He cannot use a different line to contact you on.

Could he come to your house to let you know? Nope, he doesn't know where it is you live.

Could he contact you on social media? No, he doesn't have it!

So this is a difficult situation. I would probably go to his house, if you know where he lives. He might feel worried with not knowing how to contact you too!

SparklyMagpie · 01/01/2019 14:06

I'd have to go check. Kids wouldn't know would they in the car, just say you've got to pop round to a friend's for something?

Original poster
ihavetogoshoppingnow · 01/01/2019 14:06

LaughingCow99 he has an email I just don’t know what it is, he has an old Facebook account but he doesn’t use it, the last time he posted anything was 2014

Rudgie47 he’s definitely not married

I guess I’ll just have to wait till tomorrow when I can email/call him at work or go round and see him. I can’t imagine him being the type to just block someone out of the blue, especially after we just had a belated Christmas together and he bought me really thoughtful gifts and we had made plans for the next few months

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 01/01/2019 14:09

Just put your children in the car and knock on!

SleepWarrior · 01/01/2019 14:09

Is there somewhere near him you could take the kids out to for some cake or a walk or something - then just pop to his on the way? Leave the kids strapped in the car and ring the bell? If he's there you'd just chat for 30secs and go on your way. If he's not then go with your emailing him tomorrow plan.

shpoot · 01/01/2019 14:11

He's probably lying in bed with the hangover from hell and a lost phone. He's got no way of contacting you. I'd send a work email saying v. worried, hope you're ok. Please get in touch when you get this. And just busy yourself today with other things.

Not sure why losing his phone must mean he's met someone else!

Original poster
ihavetogoshoppingnow · 01/01/2019 14:17

I don’t want to take the kids with me they’re to young to stay in the car and whatever the outcome I would need to speak to him which I couldn’t do with them there

OP posts:
LoveManyTrustfew · 01/01/2019 14:17

Look over there....>>>>>>>>>>

That is your dignity, take it and move on.

Don't waste any more time on this man child.

If he was lying in bed, effectively dying with a hangover he would find a way to contact you.

Dollymixture22 · 01/01/2019 14:20

Not odd at all that he’s not on social media - I hate Facebook and loads of my friends have come of for recently due to the privacy issues.

If he is due soon back in work tomorrow email or ring him there. Will your ex be home today so you can nip round and check on him?

He may well have lost his phone and be fine - it’s a crap tim of year to organise a replacement. That is probably the most likely reason.

But even if h is ghosting you, you need to know so you can move on.

Hope you get it resolved

BigusBumus · 01/01/2019 14:21

Hes lost his phone (or got beer all over it and its broken). He can't call you as doesn't know your number, he can't come round as doesn't know where you live and even if he did he knows he would bump into your ex and kids which might not be a good idea. So he's probably sitting in his flat waiting for his new phone to come (its NYD, so it won't be delivered today). He's probably very worried about not having been in contact.

Go round. Take the kids for a McDonalds drive thru or something as a treat and nip in his flat whilst they are eating. (Obvs depending on their ages).

Rachelle3211 · 01/01/2019 14:22

Are you on his facebook?

Chickenwings85 · 01/01/2019 14:23

I really hope he's only lost his phone and that's the reason for no contact. However, if it was me and I lost my phone, had no Social media and had no way of contacting anyone I would at least create a Facebook account and try to find a few people I know to let them know and pass on the message that I'm without a phone.
To be honest it sounds like he's ghosted you.

InsomniacAnonymous · 01/01/2019 14:27

Rachelle3211 He doesn’t have Facebook or any social media.

rainbowstardrops · 01/01/2019 14:29

It really could be something as simple as he's lost his phone and can't contact you!
I'd be getting your ex back to sit and parent his children and I'd be driving straight to his flat.
You need to know.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 01/01/2019 14:32

I wouldn't be taking the kids round. I hope he's just lost all forms of contact with you but given that everything stopped working on Saturday night, it sounds like he's blocked you.

Are you contactable? Do you have friends who he could contact, Facebook, an email or a landline?

It sounds like he did quite a good job of not giving you much info on him at all, with no email or anything.

I hope there's a good explanation Thanks

ChloeCrawfor · 01/01/2019 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Juells · 01/01/2019 14:35

Sounds to me like he met someone new and fascinating on his night out :( Sorry, it's not what you want to hear but why waste time and energy worrying about him? He could get in touch with you if he wanted to. He's blocked you.

loveyoutothemoon · 01/01/2019 14:36

But it's just a case of knocking on the door, can you not park right outside, the children would be fine as you can see them? Or do you not want to know what's going on?!

Magenta46 · 01/01/2019 14:36

He most likely uses social media. His facebook account may not show recent activity if he keeps it private, it's easy to deactivate if he doesn't use it.
Look him up on 192 or genes reunited.