Pub

[Curtains77]

Had a lovely stress- free , chilled out quality family time Christmas day with DH and 2 children. Kids have gone to bed . Landlord of pub down the road (friend of DH) has text DH and now he has disappeared down the road to join them for a lock on for an hour instead of staying here watching Christmas telly with me . He has form - this is his 5th night in a row down there ( last night I finished the wrapping on my bloody own ) . AIBU to be a bit put out ? Xx and btw Merry Christmas to you lovely Mumsnet peeps xxx

Sorry that's meant to say lock in not lock on !

tell him to piss off and move on yanbu

Thanks billyboy xx I do feel put out but it's cranking up to a bit cross now ! Good to know xx

YANBU. 5th night in a row is bad enough but on Xmas day too? I'd be pretty miffed to put it mildly.

Yeah, I would be saying something. 4 nights leaving you to do the last minute jobs not acceptable really. Doing a bunk on Christmas night a bit of a kick in the guts.

Thanks drogonssmile - bloody pub people. He literally is attracted to it like a moth to a light . Sigh .

Weenurse- I know i have been too soft before but now even if I say - 'we have had a lovely day can't you just stay here and chill with me ?'he still says he won't be long - and "you don't mind do you ?' Does feel a bit pants but I feel , as always , resigned to it

Just been on Facebook- wish I hadn't as obviously EVERYONE has had a picture perfect Christmas

When he says ‘you don’t mind do you?’

Say yes.

Say you were out last night and the night before and the night before so yes I do mind. It’s christmas Day.

He has text me to ask if I was ok ? So it's interesting that he knows he really should be here but the pull of the pub is too much to resist! It's like he disregards what I am saying even if I say yes I do mind !!

Grrr- apologies for lack of punctuation !

Did you text back and so no I'm not ok? It's Christmas Day and you've been out 4 nights previous?!

I’ll go against the grain here. I wouldn’t mind at all. It’s Christmas. If he did the pub 5 nights a week every week that’s different. He has spent the day with his family, no harm in popping out for an hour. Just get your Xmas pjs on, have a baileys and stick a Xmas movie on

I hope you replied truthfully. I'd be annoyed.

Text back and say no your not ok and you know it otherwise you wouldn’t be asking. Your taking the piss.

Nope - being the most unconfrontational person on the planet I just said - yes - you ? And then come on here and moan ...

I also dont want to be the stereotypical nagging 'er indoors ' ...why should I? It's not my job to be his bloody mother !

I wouldn’t calling telling him ‘no’ one night in 5 nagging but I also wouldn’t be with someone that went out that much and couldn’t even be bothered to stay in and finish wrapping presents.

Hmmmm, why wouldn't you just be honest? You can't expect a decent relationship without proper communication!
YANBU however, I would be very pissed off at that, but would definitely say.

Tell him how you feel! I don't blame you for being annoyed, but don't say nothing to his face and the complain about him on here- it's just pointless.

Thanks JK too - appreciate the balance! He is a pub person anyway but has been worse since made redundant and has been out of work for 7 months. He spends a lot of time and money there and I feel like i am always competing with the pub and losing ! Why am I not enough ???!!

Tbf - I have now resigned myself and am having an Aldi Bailey's and watching Alan Carr! 😁

Sorry, but you are being ridiculously passive here.

Speak to him - tell him how you feel!

All very good points. Communication is pants - he is very overly sensitive. But perhaps I should not be moaning on here and actually be honest with him ...thank you x

Also - I sometimes come on here to just double check I am not mad obviously